"Treat them mean to keep them keen"

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by lazarus, Dec 9, 2005.

  1. lazarus

    lazarus New Member

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    Does anyone actually follow this rule with someone that they want a meaningful relationship with? My friend was telling me about a girl he likes yesterday, and he's playing strictly by this rule. He thinks if he shows any vulnerability or emotion, she's more likely to cheat on him. He wants someone that will look up to him, but I know it's all just an act 'cos he's obsessed with the macho-man image. I told him that imo, that applies to girls you want to sleep with, not actually be with.

    When I really thought about it though my gf's ex treated her like shit and broke up with her all the time, and she always went back to him, but I'm just not like that at all. I do things for her, she does things for me, and neither of have a problem with that. I buy her things, take her places, etc.. which apparently makes me a pussy. I know that the way I am with her is exactly what she wants, so I don't see why she'd let someone treat her like he did and always go back to him. Thoughts on the whole thing? Do you treat girls like shit?
     
  2. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    I did for a while. And I had them whipped, but eventually they got tired of it. ANd so did I because thats not who I am. I find a nice middle ground works good for me since thats exactly who I am. Some days I can be romance novel corny, some days Im quite chauvinistic (sp?)
     
  3. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Oh just face it, you are the most chauvinistic pig I think any of us 'know'! :mamoru:

    I could never stay with a man who didn't show any emotions at all. It's not showing your true self to the person you love imo.
     
  4. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    I probably am. cuz of how and where I was raised. Im decades behind Americans on their female/male views.

    But I have also been here for a while which has "soften" my views some. I personally think I ended up w/ the best of both worlds. A mix of your classical macho personality, with some "men are equal than woman" way of thinking.
     
  5. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    i think that type of strategy may work initially, for the first few weeks, or even months, but in the long term it will prove dysfunctional.

    I too know of girls that have been treated like complete shit and kept going back to the men. But I dont think it's BECAUSE they treated em bad that they loved these guys. They loved them for other reasons, but these guys also just so happened to treat em like garbage from time to time. These are mostly younger girls that do this stuff. As women get older, they learn, and when a guy acts like an asshole, she tells him to fuck off


    That being said, there is merit in sometimes not giving a woman what she wants. This relates to another thread in the vag. right now, the one about "ubersexuals" and the male role.

    Being "masculine" by treating the woman like you dont need em can make the woman attracted to you. But this goes the other way around too. You want what you can't have. And when you think someone else doesnt NEED you, you try even harder to get them to think that they DO need you. Kindof a way of "winning over" the man, and changing him to be subservient.

    Which is why i wouldn't want to mess with a girl that was into that type of behavior, cuz it indicates she also has mental issues in as much as her male "asshole" counterpart does

    Anyway, younger girls like assholes more than older girls......or should i say....more "mature" women.....

    at least from what I know/ have heard
     
  6. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    The kind of woman who would fall for this treatment is not the kind you would want to date, anyway.

    If it's just for casual sex then yeah, do whatever gives you the most success.
     
  7. bigfodee

    bigfodee Active Member

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    harold faltermeyer
     
  8. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    <shrug> I can never be mean to a girl I am dating.. regardless of what they do I get called the "Nice/Sweet" Guy all the time.. but I dont change because it's me. And if they are wanting to like something else besides me then I shouldn't be with them anyways.
     
  9. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    dont change my personality towards a certain individual. I just be myself and if she doesnt like it oh well. This is not a play, this is reality.
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    no, don't be mean.

    just don't be overly nice and accomodating
     
  11. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    If you can't do what you want, and say what you mean... what the heck is the point? I will never udnerstand the need for trivial games. Anyone who plays them is either only in it to get some play or scared shitless. Either way... it gets old.
     
  12. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    I don't use strategy. I just choose to be myself and to be open and honest with her. The rest falls into place. If we're right for each other, it'll work out. If not, the relationship won't last. Either way is fine, because it ensures that the relationship is based on who we are, not on some bullshit strategy or false image.
     
  13. TenSteel

    TenSteel Ted Cruz suicide hotline OT Supporter

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    dawt
     
  14. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    I used to think like this until recently. I was a jerk to girls. Some girls it worked it on, but it mostly made me look like a tool. Instead of treating them mean, treat them like you're the man. If you don't give into her shit and are strong, confident then it will work much better. But at some point in the relationship, if you want it to be long term, you're going to have to show some vulnerability at one point or another. It's not a bad thing, just too much of it is.
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    If you are being yourself and experiencing the success with women that you desire, then yes, that is great advice.

    If you aren't, that advice is nothing more than an excuse to not change your behavior and continue sitting around the house drinking beer and watching tv alone.
     
  16. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    So you suggest to change who you are in order to get the girl?
    Bad advice imo. Maybe broaden your horizons, try new things etc but don't change who you are ;)
     
  17. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    :werd: Couldn't have said it any better.
     
  18. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    Who you are is pretty much a product of your environment anyway, I don't see the big deal with changing it. People are constantly changing themselves so they can find try new things and find balance, especially if you're around college age.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    The only chicks you will get by being an asshole all the time are ones that have been abused in the past or that have no self-esteem. If you want a good chick you need to show some emotion and let her know you care about her.
     
  20. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    That's not so much a change as much as it is growing.
    A change is more sudden and not of your nature.
     
  21. kevin1

    kevin1 New Member

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    I think that the "nice guy" acting in this way doesn't have quite the same effect as the guy who just naturally acts in this way. Besides, how long can the nice guy go on acting like someone who is not himself? It may not be a sudden change, but it is still a change.
     

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