FRK Training...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Veinomenoca, Jan 4, 2006.

  1. Veinomenoca

    Veinomenoca New Member

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    I know that I have mentioned this in one or three of my posts, BUT Korrosion is trying to get me some training on being a sub. I will give a little history...

    I have been the dominate partner in all relationships up until this one. The one thing I have a problem with right now is that Yes, I was Dom but it was not a BDSM relationship. I made almost all decisions in the relationships & felt occasionally that they deserved to pick where we were to go & what to do.

    Now, that I am the sub in this relationship, it is hard to stay that way. Korrosion & I have tried to flip But, he is a Dom & will almost definitely be a Dom. Did not work out that well & am not willing to try again for his back's sake (sciatica). I have been a sub for the greater part of three years. What I have a problem with is that I want to be Dom & am having a hard time finding a sub for myself. This said I would try to start out just being a S.D. w/o sex at first and then maybe change that later. It would have to be worked out between the three of us later.

    Korrosion & I have been having talks about this along with a friend of mine who has been a sub for many years. It is a pain. I have talked about it with friends & I was told that I was toping from the bottom. [i.e. I would purposely be bad just to be punished.] It also had not been easy because this was to be just a bedroom thing, & has spilt out into our everyday lives. [My mother thought that Korrosion was treating me bad & I had to tell her what was going on. Let me tell you that was NOT the conversation I had expected to EVER have with my mother.] I see that I am trying to be a dominate sub. This is something that I have to correct. Korrosion & I need to have training from professionals. You go to a professional when you are sick & you are trained by a pro when you go to school (so we think :^)~ ), why not for this? I need to be trained & Korrosion needs to see this in person. Books & forums are nice but, it is different in person.

    I have put a stop to our BDSM for now because I was acting out & then trying to get out of punishment. To top it off I am unemployed. I have a side business, but I have not gotten it off the ground yet. It is hard to try & find a job, do the things that I’m suppose to do during the day at the house, and still act like a sub when Korrosion gets home from work.

    Any hints tips or ideas from anyone out there? Sometimes we fight because I won’t listen when I’m suppose to.

    Frustrated… vein
    :sadwavey:
     
  2. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Well, I've never gone to a Pro to get trained, I've only read about others going through proffessional training. I don't thin k i could do it, i don't think I'm sub enough for that. Tigre can tell you, I'm a pain in the ass a good bunch of the time. All I can tell you is what I know and have experienced in this relationship.

    Having always been submissive, it was easy for me to let go and just go with his commands but sometimes the rest of my life DOES get in the way. Not everything can be 24/7 Ds all the time. I suggest you and korrosion lay out ON PAPER what he expecs your duties as his sub to be. If you guys intend to be 24/7/365 or bedroom only or MWF and sometimes Tuesday etc, write it all down. Together agree (outside of any top or bottom influence in conversation) on what you expect from each other.

    With things in writing you both can have a guideline for what you punishments or rewards can be. Tigre and I don't have things in writting, but a lot of it t is all daily stuff that we do or have done that it comes naturally. Not to say we get it right, but it's what works for us so far.

    I think you did the right thing stepping out of the BDSM side of things till you can get it all squared away. My advice, once you guys get back in the game: Learn to surrender yourself and your will. be fiesty if you'd like and fight back if it's your thing but KNOW and ACCEPT your punishment. I'm a smart ass sometimes but I get punished for it and I accept that punishment unless it's dangerous or i feel it's completely unreasonable given our living situation. You two need to be in accord as to what pleases you both, you maybe the sub but you still need to have enjoyment of your position. And maybe you truly aren't meant to sub, i think some people don't have it in them to submit, it's not in their personality. Look inside yourself and find that part of you if you have it. You are already willing to try so i think it's there in you. Be ready and willing to let go of your ego. Be ready and willing to please him in any way, and find pleasure in the simplest of tasks that Give HIM pleasure.

    I'm rambling now, sorry, no coffee just yet.

    I dunno, go through training if you feel the need. for me being a sub is just being TIGRE's sub so i would feel a little strange in being sent off to someone else.

    I hope this helped a little at least..
     
  3. Veinomenoca

    Veinomenoca New Member

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    Thank You PE:bowdown:

    I will try training, I don't think it will hurt, but we will see. I think Korrosion is taking me to a club next weekend. It should be interesting. Korrosion & I have said that we will get this on paper.
    TY vein
     
  4. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    i've got a specific opinion on this and some questions i want to ask you, but i don't want to clutter up the thread with it, pm me if interested :hs:
     
  5. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    awww, come on... we like clutter :x:
     
  6. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    good good, on the club thinkg. I think just sticking your toes inthe water first. maybe just watch how other subs act with their tops will help you.
     
  7. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    you know me, normally i would. i don't want the thread to go to shit though.
     
  8. BrokenHalo

    BrokenHalo New Member

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    you're a good man... always concerned about the integrity of FS. :mamoru:
     
  9. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    i try :)
     

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