SRS Tough living situation with the ex(anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Dec 25, 2008.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I've been with my "boyfriend" for years now and we have a child together. Just recently we decided to break up. The only problem is that he can't move out until February. My name is on the lease for our apartment. We didn't put his name on the lease because he lost his ID and you need ID to be on the lease. I'm not going to kick him out though because he has no place to go until Feb. (I don't want him to be on the streets or anything)

    Anyway, he's been talking to this girl online that lives close to us. He talks to her on the phone too and it seems to be getting serious. Now, we JUST broke up (like 2 weeks ago or something) and I feel so weird seeing him flirting with another girl in front of my face. It's kind of pissing me off a bit because I'm a jealous type. There's no way of me getting back together with him, but I just don't like seeing this shit. So I told him to only contact her when I'm out of the house because it's upsetting me. He agreed but I guess he's not very good at listening. I still see him chatting away on IMs and hear him talking on the phone in the bedroom. I leave the house for a large portion of the day (just to get away from him because he upsets me so much) but I would still like to chill and relax in my own home. I don't know how I'm going to last like this until February. So I don't know what to do. Suggestions?

    And neither one of us can stay with friends because we don't have much friends to begin with. The ones we do have don't have any room for either one of us to stay there temporarily... and both of our families live out of state. He's staying with a friend in Feb to live with him as roommates, so that's why we got to wait.
     
  2. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Well, you're already doing a few things that help. If possible, I suggest you ask him to move the computer into another room while he continues to use it for that purpose.

    Another suggestion is to watch TV or listen to music while he talks on the phone in the other room. Ask him to close the door to a particular room if he's going to use the phone. Be polite though when doing all of this. These are just suggestions. If he somehow conveniently forgets to close the door, just walk past and close it without being rude.

    If he says he can't move the computer (but you know he can), let him know that it's something he needs to do because you will not tolerate the current arrangement. That will imply that you'll ask him to leave if he doesn't meet your request without an ultimatum that is direct.

    If he really can't move the computer as a consequence of short wiring, request that he extend the wiring and that it will be his responsibility and at his cost if he chooses to stay with you until February. Tell him you're making this requests out of respect so that he can remain living there. Show him some respect but be clear and firm. If he does not accept your request, tell him to pack his bags and to leave immediately. If he gives you a hard time, pick up the phone and call 911 (Don't tell him...I'll call 911 if you don't leave -- just be calm, respectful, and if he doesn't comply, do that.)



    I hope my ideas are helpful. If they aren't, perhaps there are other ways.
     
  3. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    If you don't mind me asking why did you guys break up?

    (not trying to be an ass)

    It just sounds like you feel kind of guilty about something and that's why you allow him to stay there. You said you guys are done and it just seems like something is being left out . . .
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It's your place, if he can't follow your rules then he's out.

    And explain to me how it's your problem if he can't find a place to live?

    He is paying half of rent and utilities, right?
     
    Last edited: Jan 5, 2009
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Reply:

    Thanks for the helpful advice METALLIC BLUE. I might do some of those suggestions. :)


    There were a lot of reasons why we broke up. I'm the one that ended things with him. I saw we had no future together, no trust at all in our relationship because of the things he's done in the past, he spent more time with his computer and with other people than he did with me, I lost a lot of attraction towards him, ect. Things were going nowhere between us.

    Even though we're broken up, seeing him talk to another girl like that is just sparking up some jealousy. :ugh: I don't want to be with him but I also don't want to see him with somebody else. Ya know? lol

    I'm letting him stay with me for a couple reasons. One is that I have been on the streets for a month before and so I know what it's like. It sucks. So I don't want to do that to somebody else. I don't know, I guess I have a heart... even to people who do shit to me. :hsugh: Second reason is that I want my daughter to be able to see her daddy. With him living on the streets, I won't have a clue as to how I would contact him or where he'd be, so I don't know how she'd be able to see him and whatnot.

    Ahh for the second question, it's not my problem. And I explained why I'm letting him stay in the paragraph above. He has a place but he can't move in until Feb.

    He was paying for all the utilities and rent for a couple years (I stayed home and watched the kid). Recently, he got laid off. I started up a job about a couple months ago. So now I'm paying for the utilities and rent. He's currently looking for a job.
     
  6. RachTyrTaiya

    RachTyrTaiya New Member

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    Whatever happened? Did you talk to him?
     
  7. 2500

    2500 Guest

    You let him go, why don't you try moving on the way he has. If you guys are now in a "roomate" situation for lack of a better word, you cannot expect him to obide by all your rules. I understand the lease is in your name, but he did spend years paying for you to live there. Regardless whos name is legally on the lease, morally, it's his place also. You broke up with him, you set him free, but you're jealous he's moving on. I understand that, but at the same time, he's really not doing anything wrong. Immature, maybe.... but, he's your roomate, why should he not talk to a friend while his roomate is home? I know, out of respect, but, I'm sure after you breaking up with him, respecting you isn't top on his list.
     
  8. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    i completely agree. while i understand that it's hard for you to grasp him getting over you so quickly, you were the one that broke up with him. :squint:

    :squint: that is the most selfish thing i've ever heard. why wouldn't you want your ex to be happy? if you weren't happy with them, why not let them be happy with someone else? :(
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If you've told him to please respect you by not talking to her in front of you and he still does....KICK HIM OUT

    Tell him to go live with her.
     
  10. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    So what's happened so far? Any of my ideas put into motion?
     
  11. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    he has every right to speak to whoever he wants. its not likes shes sucking him off right in front his ex. :ugh2:
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I tried some of your suggestions and they helped. Also, I met someone new and well... he's taken my mind completely off of my ex. :mamoru: So that's good. I don't mind what my ex does now and it doesn't bother me so much anymore. We still try to avoid each other. He's been leaving the house as much as me, so now I can relax at my own place now. Which is great! Things are getting a little better. :)[/QUOTE]
     
  13. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    I am so the fuckin' man with my good advice. :o
     
  14. carrathanatos

    carrathanatos extremely mean in the meanest way

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    :werd:
     
  15. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    not if she's paying the rent. Her house=her rules. If he was paying it would be the other way. If they were in a relationship still...obviously it would be different...but she's just a friend doing him a favor right now.

    Glad to hear things have gotten better though!
     

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