SRS too self-concious...no confidence

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Anna28471, Oct 23, 2005.

  1. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    Backround: Growing up, I had a lot of friends but this soon changed once I transferred over to a private school. My "friends" had felt like I was deserting them so they didn't bother much with me, thinking I would turn into a snob even though I was one of the poorer girls in class. Once I got to the private school, all the girls immediately came after me making fun of my clothes from JCPenny and bragging about their latest outfit from the Gap. One girl in particular had written all these cruel messages on my bookcover but I didn't do anything about it...she wanted to beat me up. Another girl who noticed I had pouty lips told me to "shave them off." These girls were just plain cruel to me for no other reason then me being from a lower income family. I believed their lies about me, I thought I was worthless...this lastest all throughout high school. I had only 3 or 4 friends. No confidence whatsoever.

    Now as an adult I feel myself slowly trying to bounce back. I have a great job and will be graduating college while those girls I went to school with ...no offense are on welfare with 5 or 6 kids. But even now, I get really nervous around people like they're judging me. I can't be myself...no matter how hard I try....I get tongue tied and very uncomfortable. I am so frustrated not being able to break through this...

    I had such a great personality before I went to private school. I was so genuinely happy...I didn't need material things...nor do I now. I just had a better sense of who I was...I just want to get that back..
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You have been psychologically traumatized, you can't feel normal around people because you are afraid they are out to 'hurt' you , you my friend are a victim of the paranoid. But with a reason, its something you certainly won't get rid of trying as it will only revive the cycle of trauma you have been in.

    Stop trying to feel cozy around people, trust takes time and you have to start making a group of good 'real friends' that you organize party's with that make you feel cozy and secure. Friends who you can really trust so you can go out with people and start living life again in the knowledge that not everyone is like those bitches who poured acid into your life.

    Relax ,make the choise that you don't accept any more negativity in your life. And don't let people come in your life who only bring you pain and misery. Re establish contact with your old friends, and just tell your story something like (yeah i been to private school, and no i didn't became on of them, and how horrible it was) i bet they will take you back with open arms if you show them your one of them :hug:
     
  3. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    I can't go back to my old "friends." With all due respect, they'd only drag me down... they haven't made the best life choices (drugs; unwanted pregnancy etc). Things have changed since we were younger...
     
  4. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    that happened to me when i moved in 7th grade. before i left i was part of what you would say the "in crowd" and i had a million friends. but when i moved that all changed. i was just like you. it had eventually gotten so bad that i transferred to a catholic school. just know in your heart that you are better than all those people and that you're making a life for yourself. people will like and remember you for who you are and not what you're wearing or how much money you have. you will get over this fear in time. just try to busy yourself with other people who appreciate you for who you are. they are real friends.
     
  5. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    46
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know people will like me for who I am but I feel as if I lost that person. I'm trying to reconnect to my old passions and such but I've been so busy.

    I have friends now that I can talk to, no problem. But then there are others who are fairly important in my life such as my boss and co-workers....I totally clam up around them for no good reason.

    Funny, I can still remember what happened in private school like it was yesterday. I know I should get over it and accept the fact that kids can be cruel and things have changed. But that experience is the basis for all my insecurities...I just wish I knew how to deal with it in an effective way to move forward. Maybe hypnosis?
     
  6. beautiful disaster

    beautiful disaster OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,106
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Pennsylvania
    if you feel as if you need it...

    honestly i think the only way you're going to get over how you feel around your boss and coworkers is just to try and involve yourself in whats going on with them. don't make it seem like you're trying so hard though, ya know what i'm sayin?? and the reason you rememeber everything as if it happened yesterday is because it was just that traumatic to you. it will take time getting over it. maybe instead of hypnosis you might want to try therapy? maybe just one session to see if you like it...
     

Share This Page