I don't know what to do. I need help. I love my fiance more than .. scratch that.. love is an understatement, that statement in an understatment. He just, hurts me so bad. We've gotten thru so many things together, even an abortion except one thing. There is one thing that I can't get over and it seems neither can he; his past. There are things that make up the chemistry of him and I would think thru true love and reality, these things would diminish but no. Everything that has built him up to the point at which I met him, is complete filth and to me very disturbing and disgusting. The love I hold for him within my heart is not returned and everyday it gets harder and harder. Every week I find something else to comdemn our relationship and it's not even like I'm looking at all. There is some cosmic force that doesn't want us to be, some karma. He fights to keep me and he tells me he loves me and he isn't violent to me but I feel... an absence, like it's routine. I feel like my chest is being crushed and that there is a long flow of tears locked away inside of me and all he can do is tell me how little the things in his past mean, but to me it means so much. I don't know why these other girls matter to him, I don't know why I'm not mentioned to these girls who are "just friends." Please help OT, I fear the worst for our relationship. I need some real advice.