SRS Too passive

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RX8Shinka, Aug 4, 2005.

  1. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    A few months ago, I started a new job for this sports entertainment business. I was all gungho about it and really did like it up until a few weeks ago. A few of the people that work below me are bossing me around and really snotty.....probably because they can get away with it. I admit I am too passive, shy and too nice at times. All this has really gotten to me and has driven me to a point of depression. I am having a hard time standing up for myself and also with self-confidence, any suggestions? Whenever I go to talk to someone my freeze up and the wrong words come out..:wtc:

    Any help is appreciated.
    Thank You.
     
  2. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    This may not be something you have a choice in the matter about. If your job entitles you to lead others..you have a professional obligation to lead.

    Be nice, be understanding...but in the end, your job to those working both above and below you is to demand results from those you are entrusted to guide towards success.

    How do you gain confidence? Work hard, know your job better then anyone else...and then expect nothing less from those who are working for you.

    Watch shows like Overhauling. How is it that someone like Chip Foose can demand the respect of every new team he puts together time and time again. Isn't he a nice guy? Of course he is. But he commands respect from his team because he knows his stuff, he acts professionally, he expects the best from his team, and he works just as hard, if not harder then everyone else.
     
  3. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    Problem is, I am fairly new at this job and the people that are working for/with me are literally "veterans." I am afraid if I take a stand it's going to be "Well who the heck do you think you are?!." I am already getting "Where's Donna (<- she had my job last year). I just want you to know that NOBODY can replace her. NOBODY!" Makes me feel like shit and wondering what the heck I am doing... Keep in mind this guy doesn't even know me.
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    I see. Yes, you might have a challenge in front of you because you're suddenly the new person who has to fill the shoes of this former person who may or may not have set a good precendence for them.

    My advice still probably holds true...work hard, learn the job the best you can as fast as you can, and then lead by example.

    I had one college professor once tell me the first thing he does if he goes into a new business as a boss/manager is to "fire someone...it doesn't matter who it is...just fire someone and you'll get instant respect". Now I don't agree with this...but just letting you know there are ways other people do it. :nono:
     
  5. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I don't have the power to fire anyone. I work as the "registrar" for this company and as different organizations come through, they bring their own registrars whom of which I have to work with. Most of them are volunteers...don't get me wrong, most of them are nice but this one lady...DAMN!!!!! I am so sick of putting up with her it's not even funny.
     
  6. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    You have to teach people how to treat you in the workplace. Be firm, honest and fair. Be known for your integrity. I work in a man's world...at first I was treated as a ditzy blonde, but, I am honest, admit when I do not know something and I am fair. Word got around and the guys treat me not as an equal (they don't cuss around me), but as a woman with integrity and they respect my opinions and work. I don't know if this applies in your situation, but, I should think being respected where one works is a good thing. Never let them see you sweat. :)
     
  7. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    It's easy to be a boss and supervisor. That's just a title and some "authority" given to you by the company.

    It's not as easy being a good leader. Which takes a while to do. I've been experimenting at it for years now, and I still feel like a failure at it at times.

    A leader isn't one that leans on authority, but one that earns repect and encourages people to do their best. You say you are "nice"? Great! That isn't a bad quality...now turn that to your favor and treat others so nice they'll bend over backwards to help work for you.
     
  8. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I understand being nice is a good thing but please understand, people take advantage of you if you are overly nice and walk all over you (which has been happening to me). I need to be able to walk into work with my head held high, do my work and not have to worry about what so and so thinks of me...thats my problem. I am way too insecure, these "coworkers" know it and are playing upon it for their own ego boost...
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You know what? People take their cue for how they should treat you....from YOU.
    Yes, YOU tell others how to treat you.

    By your body posture, tall and confident, or slouched like a lazy teen,
    By your firm assertiveness, or "easy-going" wishywashyness.
    By your voice tone, friendly but firm, or an "ummm, excuse me, but is your shift over?"
    By your clothes, clean, neat and sharp, or sloppy? (Note that "fashion" is irrelevant)

    You've already realized that your problem with your coworkers is your own insecurity. You may not have had to deal with it before, maybe your previous work setting was very lax or very supportive so these issues were not highlighted. But they were there all along.

    You can gain respect by knowing your job very thoroughly and being very prepared and always on top of things. This should in turn help boost your self-esteem, which will also help increase others respect for you.
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The thing is you are letting people WALK over you. You should never let people mess around with you 'REGARDLESS' of their position. You see that's the whole thing, the thing is you stay nice, keep quiet, and do your own bussines ,but you do this while something is brewing. In comparison you are in a room where a bomb is about go off. Instead of taking measures to prevent this, you are closing your eyes, and putting your fingers in your ears in the 'hope' that the nice bomb will go away and not explode.

    That's NOT the way to go, you always have to fight and defend the position that you are in. There are always creeps that want to walk over your dead body in order to look better with their boss. You must say to yourself ' to here and no further' and push the pedal to the metal and struggle back.
     

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