Too little too late

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by RyeLou, Dec 27, 2008.

  1. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    I finished school back in March/April. I met this girl about a year and a half ago at school. We hung out a few times and became pretty good friends actually. I always wanted more. Sometimes I thought she wanted more, and other times not. I just left it alone and figured whatever happened happened. Over the year and a half we got closer but nothing really went beyond friends stuff. By the time I decided I was going to say something (which was about 2 months ago) she told me she was moving to California. She said she didn't feel like this was where she needed to be and now was as good of time as any. She's been out there now for about a month or so at most.

    Tonight we started talking as we normally would but the conversation went the way of things between her and I. Skipping all the pointless details, she pretty much feels exactly like I do/did. She wanted more but felt like things were always back and forth. Sometimes she thought I wanted more and other times she thought I was good with how things were.

    I'm happy about all that but obviously not at the same time. Things with her certainly aren't over as I plan to visit and have been thinking of moving with no certain destination in mind. The conversation we had tonight actually lasted quite a while and I was absolutely not expecting it to go the way it did. I was cool with being friends and didn't really care if she knew I had a thing for her. It woudln't have really bothered either of us at all. Except it went the other way and we were both left wondering what could have been.

    I wouldn't make a post about it but this one bothers me. I feel like this is the big one that got away type thing. I feel an unusual connection with her and I wish things would have gone a little differently. It's 100% my fault for not saying something sooner, but by the time I decided to she said she was leaving and I didn't want to make that difficult for her or ruin a friendship as she was leaving.

    As I said this certainly isn't over. For now we'll have an open/honest friendship and see what happens. I know she loves where she's at out there, but she's also said I'm the one thing she misses and was sad to leave behind.

    I could type about this all night but I'm done being emo for now. I need to get some sleep for work in 4 hours. Gnight Vag :sadwavey:
     
  2. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I think blogging has hurt OT; people can't seem to differentiate between their blog and the OT message board/forum.... :wtf:
     
  3. JT07

    JT07 OT Supporter

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    rant over?
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

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    Sometimes I think it's important to pursue relationships like this because otherwise it will just constantly nag at you with 'what if'.
     
  5. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    How fuckin' rude of me. What would you do in the situation?
     
  6. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    What about the distance issue for the time being?

    My thought was visit her a time or two and she'll be back possibly between now and say summer and see what happens. It might blow over or something may develop further. I don't know if I'm patient enough to just sit and wait though. Espicially for one I still feel something for currently.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So, what, do you plan on moving out there to be with a girl you haven't even really dated? Do you think she will move back to be with you.

    Let's be honest here. A lot f this is coming from the fact that you guys are far apart and can both idealize each other. It's been a year and a half, and neither of you pursued the other.

    Continue with your life, let her continue with hers.
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    I don't have advice on what you should do and I can't possibly know whether a LDR is doable or worth it to you. I guess my point is if you think you're in to her, don't hide it, don't fight it. Be up front, do what comes naturally, and see where it leads you. It could be bad or it could be good. You will not know until you try. Or you can just choose to ignore it and see if it goes away or if cirumstances change. You just sounded more hung up on it than that.
     
  9. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    I'm sure its easier to say now with the distance, but I think it's a little more than just idolizing each other. I have no immediate plans to move out there, and I'm sure she doesn't plan on coming back right now. I don't see that as a reason to rule it out.

    Beyond this situation, the economy here in Michigan is terrible. There are no jobs and I just graduated college not long ago. I have a good paying job, but I don't really want to make a career out of it. I feel like a move would be good. Not necessarily to where she is, but I have no reason to rule it out either.

    Just playing devils advocate. I realize the reality of the situation and I'm good with it.
     
  10. RyeLou

    RyeLou OT Supporter

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    I'm going to give it a little time to make sure this isn't the case. If it's just something that seems appealing to me for the time being because it isn't possible right now, then so be it and it will go away on its own.

    If it's more then great and I'll have to make a choice at some point.

    I've done the LDR thing before and I feel I could do it again with the right person. Trust is obviously a large part of that and that's one thing I have no doubt about with her.
     

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