Too Good Looking to date someone?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by red97gst, Nov 21, 2005.

  1. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    OK this is kindof the opposite question of what the title might suggest.

    This is going to sound really cocky but:
    Do you think it's ever possible to be "too good looking" for your partner or potential partner?

    The girl that is essentially my GF now started out with her telling my friend that she thought i was hot. I met her, and while I didn't think she was all that great looking, I had just broke up with my ex, so I was like what the hell, and I slept with her.

    8 months later I'm still sleeping with her. I came to like her personality and really enjoy her company. Our personalities dont have a lot in common, but she's always very agreeable with me, and we have great sex.

    Although physically I know I could "do better," she probably COULDN'T do better right now as far as looks + brains ( she's in the army, and hates all the men......and has no social life outside of it really, so the diversity of guys she meets is minimal).

    She KNOWS that I could do better, so she's always very willing to do whatever it is that I want to do, and never give me any shit cuz she's scared I'll get pissed off and end the relationship

    My other friends will sometimes give me the ol' "dont settle" and "you shoudl be out there meeting as many diff people as possible" including my PARENTS

    I'm 23, she's 20. When I met her 8-9 months ago, I had just come out of 2 relationships that lasted all 5 years i was in college. My plan at the time was to meet as many diff people as possible to figure out what kind of girls I liked.... :buttsex:

    A lot of my guy friends will take me out with them to meet girls cuz I increase their "firepower" cuz i'm "good looking" yet I've slept with less girls than all of them. :hsd:

    One part of me feels like I'm wasting my youth and that I should "using" what I've got to meet the best girls I can find, and find the most impressive female (both looks + brains of course)

    Yet another part of me thinks i'm being a shallow asshole, and that if the girl is nice, why should I drop her just cuz i could be dating better looking girls?

    I get treated a lot better by her than I would by a "hot" girl who'd be self-absorbed and ready to pick up and leave at any moment.....

    I don't think that I"m all that great looking, but I know I'm a good total package, and I treat this girl very very well despite the fact she's "not in my league"

    long post, but, thoughts?
     
  2. Miss Red

    Miss Red New Member

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    My thought (and I am being so serious) is that you are extremely conceited and that you think way too highly of yourself.
     
  3. dbdraggin

    dbdraggin New Member

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    geez, youve got parents? grand parents? you think theyre together cuz they wake up everyday and think that each other is "hot"?

    sounded in the beginning like you might realize that looks, while important in the short term of a relationship are not terribly important in the long haul. maybe youre the best looking guy on gods green earth, and youre actually being very humble about the fact... but youre coming across very shallow the way youve explained yourself in this topic.
     
  4. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    I understand where OP is coming from... but it comes down to what is making YOU happy. It is a bad idea to date extremely attractive girls just to impress your friends. Often the more attractive women come with more 'issues', and if your current girl makes you happy, then 'F' what your friends think.

    If your family doesn't like her, that is a seperate issue alltogether.
     
  5. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    yeah i realize it comes off extremely conceited

    but i dont see this as being only applicable to people who are "the most good looking"

    I'm only stating what other people tell me. Obviously if I was THAT conceited I wouldnt have slept with her in the first place, let alone continued exclusively with her for the past 9 months....

    For what it's worth i've NEVER had a GF or let alone slept with a girl that other people thought was real good looking.

    I always choose personality over looks, but lately i'm wondering if i should try to find someone with personality AND looks.... I question why it is that every girl i date somehow falls in love with me, whereas I care a lot for them but am not head over heels.... and i'm wondering if the main reason these girls try to latch on to me so bad is because they know I'm a better catch than any of their other choices...

    Like I said, I'm not saying this because i think im Brad Pitt, but if an avg girl were to date Brad, I think she'd latch on to him real hard regardless of whether they are right for each other or not.....simply because of his looks
     
  6. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    oh, and I didn't mean that my parents met her and don't like her.... simply that my twice-divorced father is like "i would stay single and just try to meet a lot of diff girls so you know who's right" and of course my mom, being a mom, wants no one but a model with doctor parents which of course is not gonna happen
     
  7. armond

    armond New Member

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    I don't think y ou sound conceited. You are pretty much telling us what other people say. And is well enough okay to think yourself a pretty attractive person.

    But as you said, you went for the gals with personality. Nothing wrong with that.

    Question is, do you want to be with her? Simple yes or no. No need to go into well blah blah blah. If someone asked you right now if you wanted to be with her, what would you say? If you say yes, then stick with it. If no, then I suggest you break the news.

    And her being subservient to you is not a good thing. NO ONE is worth staying with if you have to be a doormat, yes women can be doormats just as much as a guy is. Not saying you are treating her like one, just saying that if she is willing to rollover to you because she feels she can't do better, that is a sign of low self esteem... Not a desireable trait IMHO.
     
  8. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    is it safe to say that the field of girls i'll be meeting when I'm 29 is going to have a lot more mentally unstable women than the field when I'm 24
     
  9. kuno

    kuno .... OT Supporter

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    Same boat.. although I don't think of myself as great looking or anything. But I do think I can do better. Though I just don't care too much. Like someone said.. if you WANT someone who is good looking and has a great personality and brains.. then go find her. Dump this one. No one said you had to follow any rules. But, be warned, this girl treats you good.. it's not always about you.. that you look good and she can't find better.. it could be that you treated her well while her past relationships were bad. Maybe that's the reason she's latched on to you? You thought about that?

    Also note that if you get a girl who is in the same league.. be reminded that there's going to be competition so to say, between you two. She's good looking and knows she can get any man.. you say your good looking and think you can do better.. when an argument comes around you two separate in a flash.

    Don't get me wrong. Looks are a very important part in a relationship, if the person you want isn't attractive or decent looking it ain't going to cut it.

    My minimum requirement is 60% looks, the rest brains.
     
  10. armond

    armond New Member

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    Am I reading that correctly? Le's ee if I can answer.

    I think in every age category there is an equal amount of mentally unstable women. You can look at women in the 18-23 range, and they will have loads of unstable women; clutchy, needy, whiny, bitchy, etc... The same applies to every age category.

    In all actuality I think that women who are in a slightly older age category a slightly more stable, they don't always try to live out crazy fantasies of meeting prince charming, they have a better grasp on reality. if they just want sex, that is what they do. They are probably less likely to become as emotionally attached as a younger lady. But in every age group there will be those crazies.
     
  11. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    hmmm :werd: it is true that the older women are more in tune with what they want and are a bit more realistic....... i guess i was implying the ol' "all the good ones are already taken" mentality of a lot of older people I know....

    but yeah I guess the only reason I care about her looks is to impress other people .....cuz it really doesnt matter to me since I find her to be good looking enough for me to want to get physical with...

    and yeah her past relationshps were pretty dysfuntional .... she got married when she was 19 to some random army guy because she was gettin deployed to Iraq and wanted "someone to think about" only to realize he was a moron a few weeks later and file for divorce.....
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    pics please, preferably one where you are looking your best
     
  13. CLOT

    CLOT OT Supporter

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    this is sorta how I feel about my current situation. been dating this girl for 4 months, everything is great, but her looks are not up to par with women I usually date. Im not saying I am a 10 or anything, but when compared to other girls, she is just not all that great.

    I want to end it with her, but we have a good time when we are together and she is really laid back. although I think she is a bit clingy at the same time, what to do :sad2:
     
  14. Nouia

    Nouia New Member

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    I've been in that situation a lot. I'm pretty good-looking but I'm really shy and I usually just wait for chicks to pursue me, and end up dating the one that tries the hardest, regardless of my attraction to her, physical or otherwise. Then I just wait for someone better to come along. I guess that make me a bit of dick, doesn't it? :sad2:
     
  15. quid

    quid I Piss Excellence OT Supporter

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    i dont think your cocky, and being the person i am, ill say that if your not happy with this girl, which it sounds like you arent, i would, beyond the shadow of a doubt, dump her and move on. for 2 reasons;

    1. if what your saying is true, you can get a hotter, smarter, probably not in the miliraty, girl.
    2. if your not happy, you shouldnt be with her anyway. your too young to settle for something your not happy with, if she is just your yesman, that will get old and tired and you will be bored.

    people tell me im shallow, because i think that at this age, looks is a huge part of a relationship. just because a girl is "hot" doesnt mean shes stupid, there are infact smart AND hot girls on this planet. no point in staying with one thats "meh" in both categories.
     
  16. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    Pics of you and the girl? lol

    My gf seems to not be able to say no, and I'm not *that* great looking. She's cute/hot :o
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I don't think looks is the issue here at all. You are young and have spent your whole dating life in serious relationships. Your parents and friends aren't trying to say she's not good looking enough for you, they are telling you that you are young and need to go out and date around to find out what you really want in a girlfriend. If you don't go out and meet new chicks and enjoy the single life then you will never fully be able to appreciate a good relationship. You will always wonder what else is out there since you never got a chance to experience it.
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    What I have noticed firsthand, is that when your girl believes you have options and that you could leave her at any time for another girl, she will work hard to keep you.

    It all comes down to what you want. I'm dating a girl who is lower on the "attractiveness scale" than I am. But I'm attracted to her, she is awesome in bed, and she treats me like a king. She knows other girls are attracted to me and that she is lucky that I want to stay with her.

    If that sounds conceited, so be it. I've been in plenty of relationships where I chased the girl and she acted like she was doing me a favor by dating me. Over time I have learned that this is not what I want.

    I've got no problem dating a girl who is maybe only a 6 in looks, but has a great personality, great attitude, and doesn't bitch or nag at me. I'll take that over an 8 or 9 with a shitty stuck up attitude any day of the week!
     
  19. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    it all comes down to what makes you happy. are you happy with her? yes or no. if you think you could be happier with someone else, be with someone else.
     
  20. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    :werd: X11ty billion
     
  21. armond

    armond New Member

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    Personality + Attractive(this is all subjective) = Win
     
  22. red97gst

    red97gst New Member

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    this is spot-on.....

    I appreciate all the insight......very good points made by a lot of people.

    One thing I wonder is realted to Yail Bloor's comment

    I wonder if you marry a person like this, whether they will be like "ok he's mine now" after you get married and she will no longer treat you well
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    In my experience, yes. YMMV.
     
  24. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Call me shallow, but i date the hottest girls I can possible get. To the point where right now i dont even want to date because im tired of 7's ,8's and the ocasional 9. I want 10' and high 9's. But to do so ofcourse, i need to bring my self up to that level, which Im working on right now.

    Personality is also important. But If i can date a 10 w/ a great personality, why would I date and 8 with a great personality?
     
  25. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    If you haven't found love, this will factor in. If you have found love, you aren't going to always be looking to find "the best you can get."

    Seriously this thread reminds me how ridiculous peoples' outlooks on relationships are. If you're dating to have fun or to win the biggest trophy, yeah go ahead and try to find the absolute hottest chick possible and enjoy that. But if you have the depth and maturity to appreciate real love, you'll probably get past this phase of feeling like you're too hot for your woman. When two people really connect, and fall in love, this kind of bullshit doesn't become an issue. What are you looking for in a relationship?
     

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