SRS too flirty? v.wtf?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Userdoesnotexist, Oct 29, 2006.

  1. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    I'm currently in a relationship that's been going on for a little over a year now, and things are pretty ok between us, no real major complaints. Recently, my best friend's been saying that I seem to be too flirty with girls that we go chill/drinking with. I don't know if he's being too sensitive or if there really is something wrong with what I'm doing.
    He admitted that I didn't really do anything wrong, but it's just that I'm not pushing them back when they are getting too close to me that's wrong. Yes, they all know that I have a gf.

    To me, I just see it as them being friendly, and probably doesn't mean much more, but my best friend seems to think that they're coming on to me. There's been like 2 or 3 girls in the past few months that he thinks that there's something going on. Both girls didn't do anything too drastic, probably just a little more physically closer to me, or they're comfortable around me, that's all.

    Should I heed my best friend's advice and start withdrawing myself from these girls them or ignore the situation until they actually express interest towards me if ever?

    To me it feels weird to just withdraw like that because they are friends that I get along with and they're great to chat to, but he's telling me that my girlfriend might get the wrong idea...
     
  2. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Does your girlfriend have a problem with it? Her opinion should be the only one that matters ;)
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Maybe your friend is concerned that some of the girls might feel like you led them on?
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Sounds like friendly advice. However, i think your friend is creating problems that don't exist.
     
  5. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    Ask yourself if your actions are such that your gf would get pissed if she knew... or if she was doing the same thing with her guy friends, would it bother you?

    That's all that matters IMO.
     
  6. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    I don't think she does. she knows about all the girls that I know/hang out with.

    Maybe...but knowing him, he probably doesn't really care how they feel...just how it would affect me.

    He was just saying how he thinks my gf would be a much better gf than any of these girls given the situation now. He said he's on my side no matter what decision I make, but he just doesn't think it's worth it...now, granted, he was half drunk when he said all this, but throughout all the years that I've known him, he's usually pretty good at reading people.

    she knows most of it. I make it a habit not to hide anything from her.
    Whether or not it would bother me, it would depend on the person. some people are more bubbly than others. Just like how some people would treat a hug and a kiss on the cheeks as nothing more than a greeting for friends and others would treat like :eek3: omgwtfbbq? get what I mean?
    she's seen other girls make friendly gestures towards me which can be interpreted either way, and she's ok with it, so I don't think it would bother her much.
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Flirting with a girl while you have a g/f is inconsiderate. Analyze what he said and figure out if you really are being too flirty or if he's just making trouble. Also figure out if your g/f is upset by it. "Too flirty" to your friend may not be anywhere near close to "too flirty" to your g/f.
     
  8. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    1. not ATM. But I have noticed a similarity between these girls...they both are a lot more outgoing and insertive as opposed to my gf which is more...introverted.

    I dunno, sometimes I feel like I'm so lost...I want to have a stable relationship, but sometimes it feels like I'm not ready for it. I really hate feeling this way because I know that me and my gf have a good thing going for us. ugh...so so lost...
     
  9. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    well, he even said that I haven't done anything that merits me as being the one that's out flirting...I just seem to be oblivious to it when other ppl flirt with me and hence not knowing when to push them back.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    qft.
     
  11. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    I don't know if it's in my system or what not...I know I'd be torn inside if I do break up with her. It's not that I don't love her or I'm bored of her or anything like that. Logically, my priorities right now is settling down and looking to start buying a house in the coming few years. oh, mid 20s btw.

    If I was to tell her, what would I say? she knows I've been going through some depression phases recently, but I don't want to make this into a bigger issue than it has to be. it's something I have to deal with inside myself, isn't it?
     
  12. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    I've been pretty open to her about pretty much everything so far. It's just this one thing that popped up in the past while...well, at least I think I'm dealing with it better than I did in my last relationship.

    I guess the reason why I haven't said anything is because she's really dependant on me, and if I don't have the strength to be able to deal with it, then telling her might just make her worry along with me. I'm usually the one that provides the solutions...

    I really feel like such a horrible person for even having go through this phase.

    BTW, I have seen quite a few of your past threads, but didn't catch the end. how are things going with your wife? she out the door yet?
     
  13. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    I see what you mean...but how is telling her "I want a stable relationship, but feel like I'm not ready for one" supposed to help anything?
    doesn't that sound like I want to break up with her more than I want to stay with her?
     
  14. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    I'm confused. Is the situation that your friends which are girls obviously flirt with you and you like it? And you best male friend points that out to you, but your girlfriend is 85% aware of the fliriting and has said nothing? I want to ask if you Best friends is in love with you, but will settle for asking is it possible he is mad at you cause he likes one of these girls and thinks since you are taken you should get out of his way?

    You need to quit flirting with theses friends that are girls, you know when you are crossing the line (regarding your commited relationship) and it's sounds like you already have crossed it....
     
  15. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    to him it seems obvious...to me, not as much, cuz I know how they are and to me those actions don't really seem like it's anything more than just playing around and being friendly to someone that they are comfortable talking to.

    he does not like any of these girls, but points it out to me because we're literally like brothers, and he cares about me.

    I have not initiated any of the so-called flirting, and he also admits that I haven't done anything wrong other than not pushing them back...and since I don't really consider that flirting, there's no reason for me to push anyone back.
     
  16. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    k, I'll try that next time I see her...we haven't really been seeing each other much lately cuz she's always busy with school/work stuff.
    or do you think phone would be ok for this kind of convo?
     
  17. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    Face to Face for something of this magnitude! You are going to have a difficult time discussing this without her thinking that you all are going to break up, I think anyways.
     
  18. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    That's what I'm afraid of...I don't want her to think that I want a break up.
     
  19. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    Don't start off your conversation with "Look I don't want to break up or anything, but how do you feel about our relationship?". If in the conversation, she says "You want to break up, don't you?" or something along those lines express shock and surprise that she would think that.

    clifs= don't even mention the word breakup.
     
  20. Userdoesnotexist

    Userdoesnotexist awww...doggah...

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    I guess I'll talk to her and update.

    I hate these types of feelings...it's not like it's always here...just every so often it pops up. :ugh:
     

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