Too busy to have anything to do with me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tamiyaDrifter, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    So I've been going out with this girl for a bit over 2 months. I met her at uni, and I found out that she works like 20-25 hour weeks while at Uni, and that she pays upfront for Uni. Fair enough, so she wants to have some money to pay for all the shit she wants plus Uni, lol.

    Up until exam week we always seemed to see each other usually on Thursday/Friday/Saturday because other days she was at Uni or at work (I was also at Uni/work). This was repeated pretty much every week until 2 weeks ago, when exams start.

    The weekend before study week everything was going good, she rang me on the Friday and we talked for 20 mins, even though I was at a party where I knew no one and I was essentially just a random talking on the phone :o ), then I took her to the Autosalon(car show) and went back to her place for a few drinks. She got sick from drinking too much :mamoru: but meh. The next morning before she went to work she woke me up by jumping on the bed next to me and we just laid there together hugging and crap as it was 5am and I couldn't be stuffed doing anything other than that (no we didn't sleep together :hs: ). She kissed me and then went to work after that.

    She got a crappy exam time table (3 exams in 4 days then one a week after the last of those 3), and mine was pretty spread out. We planned to go out on the Thursday night, but she postponed it till the next Wednesday (because she had the exams on Saturday, Monday, Tuesday). When I saw her at the exam on Monday (we had it together), she told me she had a bad exam on Saturday and that's why my txt that asked her how she went was never replied to. Then I asked her if we were still going to the movies on the Wednesday night and she said "I don't know, I changed my availability at work".

    So I rang her on Wednesday and she was at work in the morning, then I sent her a txt in the afternoon before I went to work because her home phone was engaged. After my shift was over at work (5 hours later) she finally txt'd me back with "Hey Dale, I'll be busy for the next few weeks. Maybe when things quiet down a bit". Then we exchanged a few more txt's and I find that she has more hours at work and needs the money.

    Fast forward to yesterday, seeing I hadn't talked to her for a week, I txt'd her asking her if she would be home after her last exam because I wanted to ring her, and I haven't got a message back. I don't know whether I should call her on her home phone tonight because she hasn't messaged me back. Shits me off.

    Could she really be that busy that she can't return a text message? It's already been a week since she said she was too busy, and I'm getting all fucking insecure and shit. :ugh: What do you reckon I should do? Call her tonight or wait a few weeks?

    EDIT: She's been going on about changing her availabilities for aaages and she keeps asking me whether I was changing mine or not. So I don't think she's changed anything suddenly because she decided she didn't like me over the exam week or something.
     
  2. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Ive been that busy, and it sounds like she has every right to be that busy. You havent been together that long, and you are not a priority to her (nor should you be at this point). You do sound really insecure, and its not healthy for you OR your relationship with her. Why don't you give her a few days, and then call her. Waiting for her to call isnt going to be good, because she could be expecting you to call her, but I wouldnt call often if you don't get an answer. Let her get the things done that she needs to do, then she can spend time with you.

    Seriously, DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. Put her in the back of your mind, go on with your life and the things you do, and then give her a call in a few days and see where you stand.

    Nothing more you can do anyways...

    :mamoru:

















    :ugh:
     
  3. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Its hard to ignore the fact that she became unavailable after you slept together at her place but didn't have sex. Did you do anything other than cuddle and kiss?

    I have seen many cases where a woman and man went to bed together, but he didn't attempt to have sex with her, and she wouldn't have anything to do with him after that. Not saying that is the case here, but think about it.

    Next time you are in a woman's bed (or she is in yours), you need to at least TRY to have sex. Even if she denies you, she is still going to expect you to try. And if you don't try, she will wonder what is wrong with her and/or you. She might even think you are gay.
     
  4. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :dunno: My wife said one of the reasons we made it so long was because she know how much I respected her when we could lay in bed and I didnt just try to have sex with her all the time.

    Actually every girl I have ever been with has said good things about not always wanting sex right away. And I have always been one to wait. Ive never had a girl think I was gay for not wanting to fuck her right away either. Maybe I should have dated more sluts and whores when I was younger? :dunno: I enjoy being STD free and always having the respect of my wife for not just wanting to fuck her when we started dating.
     
  5. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: This is the part of modern society that I hate the absolute most, moreso than ANY other thing. Why is it that seemingly the majority of the world is so "sexually liberated" (slutty) that sex is EXPECTED or REQUIRED within a short period of time, or else the relationship won't work? I mean, shit.... even if you're gonna have sex, doesn't it stand to reason that waiting for a while isn't an all bad thing?

    I just don't get it.
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    There are always exceptions.

    My only question is, did you get in bed with them early on and cuddle and kiss but not touch them otherwise?

    Dude I'm with everything you are saying, and I don't try to jump in bed with every girl right away. But if we get in bed together, I'm going to try to have sex with her. If I don't want to have sex with her (at that time), I don't get in bed with her.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    My only issue is with him getting in her bed and not attempting to have sex with her. It can give her the wrong idea.

    I think its great to wait. I like to wait myself.
     
  8. armond

    armond New Member

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    patience
     
  9. Neo22

    Neo22 OT Supporter

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    Hers the problem. Your flooding her space. You're making yourself too available. Not trying anything in bed was a mistake also. What you need to do is wait a few more days, call and leave a voicemail letting her know you are thinking of her and that when she has time to give you a call back. Then you wait. When she calls talk for a bit and then tell her your busy and you will call her back.
     
  10. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :bigthumb:
     
  11. jshively

    jshively OT Supporter

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    x2 makes it that much more pleasurable the first time. This way also I know if I can trust the person in the end and not in nine months have her knocking on my door demanding half of everything including business for child support.
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    OK so wait.... you're supposed to try to have sex... but not actually HAVE sex if she accepts? :wtf: why try to have it if you aren't going to take the opportunity? :ugh2:
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Lemme break it down for you.

    If you get in her bed or she gets in yours, she is most likely expecting you to try to have sex, and high probability she wants it.

    If you get in bed with her but don't make any moves other than cuddling and kissing, she may get the wrong idea that you are a wuss or you are gay.

    If you know that you aren't going to "put the moves on her" for whatever reason, you are better off STAYING OUT OF THE BED WITH HER.

    I never said to try to have sex then deny her. What I meant was I don't necessarily try to bang a girl when I first meet her. I don't mind waiting and it just gets her more interested in it anyways.
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2005
  14. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    We didn't sleep together, she jumped in the bed with me for about 20 minutes before she went to work in the morning. The night before she was sick and after she came out she said she was going to bed and went upstairs then I went to bed downstairs :mamoru:

    I didn't attempt to ring her. I might wait a while, and do some other stuff I should be doing, like looking for a better job, becasue pizza delivery sucks :ugh:. I have all this time right now because uni just finished and I haven't told work I can work any time any day yet, so I'm basically at home most of the time and as soon as I get bored, she pops into my head :hs:

    EDIT: I also have my suspicions that she hasn't really had much experience with guys etc. Just the way she acts sometimes. Oh and she didn't get half the humor in "The 40 year old Virgin" :mamoru:
     
  15. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Exams will be over soon dude. Just relax until then.
     
  16. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    Exams are over for both of us now, and she's increased her hours to the max. She kept asking me whether I was changing my work availabilities after exam week during semester, I kept telling her I don't know what I was going to do. So it doesn't suprise me at all that she jacked her work hours right up, but it did get a little annoying when we were going to go out and all of a sudden she's changed her availabilites. I feel like an asshole because she paid when we went to Autosalon because we couldn't be fucked walking to the ATM, and I never took her out in return.
     
  17. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Don't worry about it. If she is interested she will make herself available to hang out and in regards to the paying issue, if she offered to pay she offered to pay. You can't offer to pay and then demand to get your money back
     
  18. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    She never demanded it but I feel like a bit of an ass because she says she's working heaps "because she needs the money" :hs:
     
  19. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    During exam time I basically disappear from life, I'm sure others do too so don't worry about it too much. Also having like 4 months of free time, I'd jack up my work hours to max if it was an option.

    Actually I'm looking for a third job now so I can use some of my free time over the next few months.

    I don't think any of this has much bearing on your relationship, just chill.
     
  20. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    I got a message from her today. She said the reason she didn't text me was because her dad was really sick and she had to visit him etc, and she had an exam and she also had work! Good thing I didn't jump to any conclusions (and act on them) or I would have made a real arse of myself!
     
  21. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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