To the vag crew who suggested not getting married... what about kids?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jan 14, 2010.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Alright remember the marriage threads and we were talking about pros and cons and some people (IWYWB) asked me why am I even getting married if I'm going to have prenups and assets hidden within corporations controlled by trusts and etc so that in the event of divorce she only gets what I choose to give her since "oops, Falconer has no assets!" for the courts to take rather than dicking me over like women tend to do?

    Yeah you remember that thread.

    How does having kids fall into that equation?

    I always assumed that I would have kids, and even though I'm almost 29 and I'm nowhere near ready, I still wonder. Aren't parents supposed to be married?

    Assuming you choose to not get married, how does having kids fit into the picture?

    Are there any advantages or disadvantages of being married/unmarried when having kids? Obviously there is going to be a stigma if a child's parents aren't married... but aside from it "feeling weird" what else is there?
     
  2. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    do you really think the average nomarriage.com fan wants kids ?
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    lol, I wasn't talking about that site.

    If I get married my assets will be protected. IWYWB suggested why even bother getting married then, cuz it's less work and trouble to not get married. Ok, fair point. Then what about kids?
     
  4. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    She suggested that not for the specific of marriage, but because you have this idea that you know any long term relationship will fail and you know you will lose $$$$$ in the process.


    So why would you have kids ? They are going to be a part of the fail and cost even more money
     
  5. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    If you're going to have kids with someone, you might as well just skip the prenup entirely.
     
  6. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    Then your prenup is pretty much worthless as, depending on the state, the courts can force you to pay child support regardless of any existing prenup.
     
  7. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd: :werd: :werd:

    If you have convinced yourself that any relationship you have will fail (marriage or not) then why would you have kids? Not only does it mean you can't horde money, it also isn't fair to the children you would have to inevitably end up with a broken home.













    Besides, Falc, you know damn well you'd be the worst dad ever. Every time your kid acted up you'd make a poll on OT asking whether to ground him, spank him, stab him with a rusty spork, or shove him in the microwave and push the "baked potato" button. :noes:
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    I've found that the defrost button is much more effective. :mamoru:
     
  9. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Gonna reserve my comments about kids and marriage this morning :o
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .

    I just can't understand how anyone so overly analytical, pessimistic, and skeptical of a marriage lasting would still have this weird romanticized idea that they could have a wonderful and long-lasting one :dunno:

    With kids everything becomes ultimately harder. It's pretty much bullshit at this point to believe good people are only raised by parents that are together. Everyone is fucked up in their own way, but good morals can still be taught no matter if parents are together or not.

    I'm not going to say you wouldn't be a good father, I don't know you :dunno: but what I do know is that being a good parent means putting the child before yourself, always.
     
  11. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    This is why I dont want children, im too selfish :o
     
  12. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Falconer I'm with you man. I haven't a clue how protecting yourself from the possibility that a marriage will end somehow means you are certain it will and therefore shouldn't get married.

    That's like saying going to the gym and keeping yourself thin and in good shape so that you are protecting your heart and the rest of your body from disease is like betting that you will die young so why not just end your life now...



    Anyway, to answer your question marriage doesn't have to be part of the formula that equals kids. I have no idea why, but for some reason 90% of "marriages" (Legal marriages in the eyes of the Government) in Quebec the couple never actually tied the knot. They live happily ever after, have a bunch of kids, the smart ones signed prenups, but never officially tied the knot. They are technically married though, because if the Government thinks you are a married couple, you are a married couple.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    And thats fine :)

    Most people won't even recognize that fact and that's why they end up shitty parents. My SO and I can both be very selfish, which is why we recognize having kids would be unwise unless something changed.
     
  14. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You can also work kids into a prenup... that XX% will go to the children for X Y Z per month etc.

    I have an Aunt and ex-uncle that didn't have a prenup, he was a doctor. They split up, she hated him with every ounce of her fat ignorant being and took him for everything. She was paid some outrageous amount of money per month for alimony then got a giant check for child support too... so she didn't work for close to two decades, because why would you work when you are making more money then the average working schmoe?

    I have a family friend that married a rich man who used to own a bunch of McDonalds in Niagara falls Ontario (the good falls :o). They split, he pays her child support, and it's a lot because it's based on your income and he still does something to increase his bank account. However, he's still rich as shit, and since she's a good mother that spends child support on the kids only, she is working her ass off so she can still retire at a decent age... because her cheating ass didn't get 1/2 his money.
     
  15. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    See, what the fuck, THANK YOU.

    I tell this to people and they look at me like im some fucking scum of the earth.

    I, personally feel as if I can make a 'mature' decision about something like this is a BIG part of life. I grew up 'with out' a father and in the end, I dont think i'd be able to provide for a child like the child deserves. Not because I dont believe in myself, but because I know what I want in life, and sadly a kid will do nothing but prolong my wants.

    Yes, its selfish, but its NOT selfish cause im not bringing a child into this world and leaving him 'hanging' per se. I know what its like to grow up with out a father figure, it sucks, still to this day i've never laid eyes on my father.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :h5: to knowing what you want

    and most people are in denial and hypocrites, so dont put too much stock into the horseshit they say and believe.

    Edit: SO and I both have a shit ton of traveling we want to do before kids are even a thought
     
  17. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Fucking :werd:


    I'd rather hear my Porsche rev than my baby cry, :o (Porsche, thats the goal)
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :werd:

    It makes me want to pull out what remaining hair I have at the fact that so many people here don't understand this.

    Geez, I bet when someone says "I need car insurance" they're all like "why, are you such a shitty driver that you just KNOW you're going to get into an accident?"

    :werd:

    That's interesting. I was thinking about moving to Canada a few months ago actually :eek3:
     
  19. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    This is the most overused, and offbase cliche bullshit ever perpetuated.

    You make decisions based on the best interests of your kids...but that doesn't translate to becoming this ultra selfless, self-sacrificing psuedo Jesus who denies their own needs and wants at all times for the sake of their offspring.

    I can honestly say I do NOT put my kids first in every decision that I make, but I do know for a fact that I am a decent father and they are a factor in every decision I make.
     
  20. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    im boarderline about marriage. its not that i dont think a marriage can last, but i am aware of the great possibility that one wont.

    if my gf didnt care about marriage i prob wouldnt bother to get married. i would still eventually like to have a child.

    i see nothing wrong w. raising a child while not married.
     
  21. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I don't know if the laws are federal or provincial but it's 3 years of living under the same roof with the same address here in Ontario. Like even if I were to have a female roommate I would have to be very careful that the Government doesn't just assume we're dating and make us common law after 3 years.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Exactly. I said a "good" parent is selfless :rofl:
     
  23. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i dont see a problem with being unmarried and having kids as long as certain things are taken care of, like being in a loving home, food, shelter, clothing, etc. a boyfriend and girlfriend can do that for a child. a married couple can do that for a child. a single parent can do that for a child.

    i do think that it is super important to raise a child in a home with a good example of what "love" (and if you are married, what "marriage") is because that is most likely what they will base their relationships on. if you are married, but miserable, your kids are learning that their relationships and marriage should be miserable too, so i its best to separate and teach the kids what to do when you are in a bad relationship, not stay. being just boyfriend and girlfriend but in a loving relationship would be a way better situation than a miserable marriage.
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I was just curious. I don't see myself wanting kids in the next 5 years at least. I dunno.

    I still :rofl: and :uh: @ people who think getting a prenup means you think your marriage is going to fail. Statistically speaking, half of those people will get divorced (even if they were 110% sure absolutely positive true love 4eva that their marriage was going to last) and maybe see the light then and get a prenup for their second marriage :mamoru:
     
  25. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    That's why the Titanic sunk, they had life boats and other safety measures in case it sunk, so it taunted fate. If they had not included any of that, they woulda been fine.
     

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