MIL To the Soldiers that joined w/ g/fs..

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by b16, Jul 10, 2007.

  1. b16

    b16 New Member

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    My situation: g/f of 2 yrs(this month), has a kid(not mine), wants to get marrieid, i don't..not yet(till we can move in and get used to all that).

    My question: To the soldiers that entered the military w/ a g/f, how did she take it? Did yall break up? How long was it before you were able to move off base? Did she move in w/ you? Did you just wait it out?

    If there happens to be g/f's of soldiers on here i welcome your response also :x:
     
  2. someonenew

    someonenew He's Dangerous

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    if she's been with you 2 years already then you may not have to worry about her seeing you as her way out, however if your decision to join up was closely followed by her desire to get married then that's exactly how she sees it right now. She knows if she marries you that she's going to be able to get out of whatever little podunk town you live in and get away from all the things she hates. You also look like a great free meal ticket so to speak. All your benefits extend to her and her child if you marry. So she can get health care for both of them thanks to you.

    If you're serious about this girl and intend to make her wife eventually then you might as well do it now. Once you're active you can list her as your dependant (and her child) and when you get to your first duty station out of Boot Camp you can get her a military ID card and she can start using the Commissary for groceries, as well as base medical facilities.

    As for living with her before marriage. In many cases you won't be authorized to live outside of the barracks until you get to a certain rank. Most of the times E1-E4 aren't given permission to do so, this is of course on a duty station by duty station basis as the Base Commander may have different rules regarding this for each facility. If you get married however you will qualify for gov't housing, and based on being "E-4 and below" with 1 child you'll qualify for at least a 2 bedroom unit, but that's about it. They won't give you a 3 or 4 bedroom unit just because you want it.

    There are plusses and minuses to both, you have to ask yourself is she worth it. If she's just looking at you as a ride outa town then beware, it's a bumpy fucking ride.
     
  3. TRN

    TRN Well-Known Member

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    Well I had one








    Not with her any more though. :o
     
  4. b16

    b16 New Member

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    thanks for the response someonenew. she definitely doesn't see it as a way out. we live in new orleans so its not a shitty town(depends on how you look at it lol). she also has all of her family here so her support is embedded here.

    As for the marriage i can see being married to her but not ATM. I firmly believe we should live together to see how things work out in that situation before we make the bigger commitment of marriage. This obviously won't allow her to be with me unless we are married but that simply isn't going to happen right now.

    ps. I'll be entering as E2(missed E3 buy 1 or 2 college classes:doh:)
     
  5. TRN

    TRN Well-Known Member

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    Jody





    Best wishes though man.
     
  6. Tryfaen

    Tryfaen New Member

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    Also if you marry her/support her child and the deal goes sour while you are still enlisted prepare to get raped.
     
  7. s3rca

    s3rca New Member

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    my girlfriend like yours was already with me for two years when i enlisted . we stuck together through my deployments just fine . we did end up getting married right before i PCS moved cross country , everything work out in the end .
     
  8. PlutoBHG

    PlutoBHG New Member

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    i was with a girl for a little over 2 years, she knew the whole time i was going to join the navy and said she wanted to stay with me cause we were in love and all that, i went to bootcamp in february, she started college after summer, and broke up with me by november the same year...
     
  9. RoblesGT

    RoblesGT [Track Days: 19 ][Crashes: 1] [SuMo Days: 1 ][Cras OT Supporter

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    she's already screwing your best friend ... seriously though ... marriages that work in the military are few and far between ... :hsd:
     
  10. b16

    b16 New Member

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    where did she live? where were you sent to tech at? for how long? after tech where was your first duty station? for how long at this base were you without her then PCS'd?
     
  11. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    I broke up with my gf the week after I came back from basic. She was iffy before I went, and pretty much rabidly against it when I got back. We had been living together for about 5 years.
     
  12. jjski78

    jjski78 New Member

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    I didn't think people your age believed in living together before marriage.:rofl:
     
  13. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    Who said anything about getting married? :run:
     
  14. jjski78

    jjski78 New Member

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    :buttsex::spank::nono:
     
  15. b16

    b16 New Member

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    i'm all about moving in before marriage. its just harder b/c she has a kid and all her family/support structure is here. and the fact that i can't live w/ her till i live off base(years?).
     
  16. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    This can be remedied with a marriage license.
     
  17. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    :werd:



































    :noes:
     
  18. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    Oh come on, didn't Moses tell you marriage was peachy when he came down from the mountain?
     
  19. Ranger-AO

    Ranger-AO I'm here for the Taliban party. Moderator

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    he told me that his wife made him climb the mountain in the first place. :ugh:
     
  20. b16

    b16 New Member

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    ^^
     
  21. Jyokker

    Jyokker The trouser snake is very aggressive. It will corn

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    Does that invalidate my comment?
     
  22. b16

    b16 New Member

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    i thought so? i'm under the impression that marriage license=marriage on paper?
     
  23. s3rca

    s3rca New Member

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    she lived in the san fransisco bay area which is where i was fortunate to be stationed after boot . after that i went to A-school in petaluma , which is in the north bay ( thats when we got married ) . we recently PCSd to D.C . i went through 3 , 3.5-4 month deployments while we were just dating
     
  24. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    My fiance cheated on me within 3 weeks after I left.
     
  25. someonenew

    someonenew He's Dangerous

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    you aren't married until either the back is signed by the appropriate authority
     

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