To pursue or not.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by crazy15, Feb 5, 2008.

  1. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    So i've known this girl (few years older) for about a month. really cool, attractive, but she has a boyfriend (she can do alot better). well over the weekend we hooked up and told me that she likes me. I'm in a dilemma. I realize she has a bf and that its fucked up, but hey whatever. So i'm torn to pursue because in the back of my mind, once a cheater always a cheater right? Or to pursue it cautiously and see where it goes.
     
  2. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    when she gets bored with you, you're going to be that guy being cheated on.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    *sigh*

    If you have any respect for yourself and actually desire a real relationship with her you will tell her things cannot happen again until she breaks up with her boyfriend.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    find someone better
     
  5. DvBoard

    DvBoard New Member

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    :bowdown:
     
  6. nezfotnemom

    nezfotnemom OT Supporter

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    DING DING DING. I hooked up with this girl (no secks just some spoonage and kissing) knowing she had a boyfriend even though the whole do better thing and what not. She even conveyed to me several times that she was through with him and just trying to find a way to end it (4 year relationship).... Fast forward 4 months and she is still with him. Needless to say I quit talking to her about a month ago. For the first feet weeks she would text me constantly but she eventually got the point. She is STILL with him. Tell her to end it then come find you. Move on, and if shes special enough, once that happens, pursue stuff then.

    CLIFFS: I had same thing. She wont end it. Tell her to GTFO and move on.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Good for you :h5:
     
  8. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    WHY IS A RELATIONSHIP THE DEFAULT AND INITIAL THING YOU LOOK FOR? You are a MAN. you look for SEX first, then you spend a few weeks/months with her to see if she qualifies to be in your life as a relationship. christ
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Because not everyone thinks the definition of a "man" is a body that just fucks everything it can without thinking :dunno:
     
  10. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    A man looks for sex before a relationship. a woman (or nancy) does not.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Apparently not always. Who are you to say that's how it should be?
     
  12. Frito

    Frito New Member

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    exactly dude, youre gonna be the one being cheated on pretty soon. just mess around but a relationship is not a good idea
     
  13. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    :uh:

    If you are already thinking about her cheating on you, MOVE ON!
     
  14. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    Sorry, should've clarified. When I say 'man' I mean 'man who wants to date high quality women and have them be highly attracted to him and not cheat on him and not to be a chode.' Whenever I say anything about 'man' it isn't some sort of vague weird idea of what a man should be that I have in my head. it is a very EMPIRICALLY verified model for the behavior and attitudes of an attractive man with lots of high quality options in women. it's something that you can observe in successful men in the pickup community or out of it. and true, while i suppose not all guys want to be able to date high quality women, or be able to choose instead of being chosen, i have high hopes and standards for my fellow vaginitus posters. i understand if this doesn't make any sense to you. i am sorry. i will try to break it up into smaller words if i have time later
     
  15. ustfdes

    ustfdes LPC ID: 20394

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    that has always been my philosophy. BUT I met my wife in Iraq....her boyfriend was starting to care less and less, go out with friends and hang out with ex-girlfriends, and drink too much. technically, she cheated on him with me.

    I have always said 'once a cheater, always a cheater" and still stand by it to this day, which is why every now and then i have fits of jealousy/mistrust with my wife. I know that i can trust her, i really do, but i still get that subconcious nagging from time to time....especially since she's in iraq again, and i'm home with our son.

    i also believe there are exceptions to the rule, but if so, my wife has been the only case so far. every girlfriend that has EVER cheated to be with me, has ended up cheating ON me.

    i would say, you could pursue it, but keep your attachment in check for a long time. Or you coudl choose not to pursue it, and come out on the winning end. there are plenty of single girls you could find that you wouldn't have to deal so directly with this issue.

    if the girl is cheating, does she have a tendency to cheat when she gets fed up with a relationship, or is this the only instance? does she have a TRULY shitty boyfriend, or can she not be woman enough to tell him it's not working because of her OWN problems?

    just be careful, either way, and good luck.
     
  16. ustfdes

    ustfdes LPC ID: 20394

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    from which planet did you obtain your ESL and your AA/BA on male studies?


    :rofl:
     
  17. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    If he had any respect for himself and wanted a relationship then he wouldn't have hooked up with her in the first place. If she's cheating now then it's not going to magically change later. She already did it to one person so there's a huge chance she'll just do it again to him.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh I agree completely, but unfortunately he's already slept with her, so we just have to think about the future.....not that they will even have a future.
     
  19. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    This post is a mix between RSD and DYD
     
  20. squid

    squid braap

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    If she's cheating on someone else with you she'll cheat on you with someone else. Don't look for wife material here, just take it light and let what happens happen.
     
  21. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    i'm never sure why you do this lol
     
  22. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    lol have I said it before?

    I don't mean anything negative by it but it just sounds a LOT like "On Being A Man" and "Foundations".

    There's nothing wrong with being influenced by them. I think most guys can memorize and spew out their theory (most of what thhye teach is not empirical) but not REALLY begin to get it for a couple years.

    I'm not indicating you're one of them but I've seen a lot of guys get fucked up over this stuff.
     
  23. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    yes, once a cheater always a cheater.
     
  24. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    God I am so glad I iggied ware long ago. He sounds like an oversexed testosterone filled animal.

    I'm a guy, I love sex, but it is not my number one priority 24/7.

    My definition of a man includes maturity...in my opinion he could have just presented the argument without the insults. I've noticed he tends to use the straw man fallacy quite a bit.

    and true, while i suppose not all guys want to be able to date high quality women, or be able to choose instead of being chosen, i have high hopes and standards for my fellow vaginitus posters. i understand if this doesn't make any sense to you. i am sorry. i will try to break it up into smaller words if i have time later
     
    Last edited: Feb 5, 2008
  25. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    The word is spelled "phallus-y"... and i'm oversexed? sheesh
     

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