SRS Tired and Lost

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by stillmatic, Oct 30, 2006.

  1. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    I'm really tired of feeling like shit. I don't know how to emotionally move on. I have a halloween party yesterday and most of the night i thought about how my ex always wanted to be around me and my friends. I think about her all the time still, i really don't think about her when i'm working out or at school. The life i'm living now is the way she wanted me to live when i was with her. and i finally changed after the breakup.

    i love my post-breakup life now, i have a awesome supporting cast of friends, ambition in life, and goals i work hard to achieve, but i think that this wouldn't be possible without her. By all means i should be dead or in jail. Its really hard not to think about her. she saved my life and sometimes i feel lost without her.

    I hate myself for still being in love with her. I hate her for emotionally hurting me. But I love her for what she's done to help me in my life. I feel like returning to my bad boy/gangster roots once in a while, but i know thats not what i want anymore, but it used to make me happy when i didn't have her in my life and keeps my mind busy. if i told her this, i don't know what she would say, either "whatever makes you happy" or "you haven't changed since we broke up" I don't know what to do.
     
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2006
  2. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    why did you break up??
     
  3. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    simply fought too much and she needed space. also she wasn't happy, mainly i had no direction in life and she wanted to start a family and wanted to be more part of my life and i didn't have no goals and my friends that point didn't accept her.
     
  4. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    thats to bad man. from what i read on this forum you need to be happy with your self before finding a serious girlfriend. Is there any way you can get her back?
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    So did you change after the break up because you wanted her back or because you really wanted to change??? It kinda sounds like you did it to simply get her back. If that's true, I doubt you'll be happy with this new lifestyle because your motivation is misplaced.

    I've seen people change because someone else forced them to, they aren't usually happy about it and end up resenting that person because of it. However, there have been some I know that simply need a push in the right direction.

    Also, if you just broke up, then don't confuse your pain from the breakup with pain of this new lifestyle. ALL CHANGE involves pain at some level because we have to get out of our comfort zone to change. However, this doesn't mean the pain is forever...it will pass....as will the pain from your past relationship.
     
  6. ArthurPewty

    ArthurPewty New Member

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    Whether he changed because of his girlfriend or not, it sounds like he's got a lot going for him.

    Stillmatic, depending on how long ago you broke up with the ex, you may just need some time to let all that you have going for you work for you with the women. Not saying you'll be a chick magnet, but if you have ambition, goals, and are working hard (and staying out of jail) those are all good things and all things that help a person have a more stable relationship with a significant other. Breaking up sucks like hell. We've all been there. Keep up what you're doing and I figure someone new will come along (have you been meeting people through your supporting cast of friends or through the Halloween party?)
     
  7. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    been trying to tell her that i've changed for the past 3/4 months,telling her i still love her, etc, want you back bullshit, havent' talked to her in a week. pervious msn messages lead me to believe that if i give her some space and and let our relationship occur natually again and don't forced anything we will be friends/together again. but i had dinner with her 2 weeks, and she didn't rule out not being together again. basically told me to give her space, so i'm on a contact policy right now and asked her to stop calling me.
     
  8. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    want her back what should i do?
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You can't "do" anything. IMO you'll just push her further away. She already told you that you need to give her space and there might be a possibility of getting her back. SO, there's your plan....do your best to give her all the space you can.
     
  10. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    today is has been a full week since no contact, the longest i've every had without talking to her in 3 years, only thing that keeps my mind is school and gym, the rest of the day.....her.
     
  11. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    So you've been "changed" for what about 3 weeks now? I'm sorry but she might very well say you haven't changed since the break up. 3 weeks is not very long, and she hasn't been there to see the change.

    You say she "saved" you? Do you mean when you met you were on a path to a life of trouble, then she came into your life and helped you on a different path? And you have stayed on that path since the breakup, however you have attempted to change the few remaining things she didn't like?

    So she wanted to settle down and start a family, why didn't you propose?

    Regarding "getting her back", not much you can do. Give her the space she has requested. Sorry to tell you, but it has been my experience, happended to me and I've dished it out, that, people find it difficult to be honest when it comes to ending relationships. They (most people) don't like to hurt others. Therefore, when they really mean something like it's over and we are not getting back together they say maybe we can be friends.

    On another note, girls want what they can't have. Do you ever have to opportunity to run into your X? If that happensbe a watered down version of the man she fell in love with (cocky, arogant, strong, whatever traits you exhibited). She wants to see that you can survie and prosper without her, which is attractive.
     
  12. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    changed since june.

    with the type of friends i had at the time, i was headed towards a life of being a career criminal. I have stay on this new path since then and changed my entire lifestyle. which includes friends, job and ambition and goals.

    i wanted to, and we discussed this, she wanted me to have a career first, in a job that i love, i found it and i have now 3 years to complete that goal.

    just realized that (used to call every 2nd day, 3rd day, weekends), i've totally decided just to live me life as if she was a dream, today has been a good strong week of total no contact.
     
  13. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    You need to live for yourself and achieve goals that make you happy and then a girl (whether it be your ex or another) will fall in love with you for who you are now and in the future.
     
  14. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    read this and do the opposite to win her back ...

    if you want to keep her, and she really does mean something to you!! :bigthumb:
     
  15. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    "i love my post-breakup life now, i have a awesome supporting cast of friends, ambition in life, and goals i work hard to achieve, but i think that this wouldn't be possible without her. By all means i should be dead or in jail. Its really hard not to think about her. she saved my life and sometimes i feel lost without her."

    Dude, I don't know you, but I'm happy for you. Did you ever tell her how she changed your life, and thank her for giving you the motivation? A well crafted letter, real letter on paper with ink, could possibly help you gain closure.
     
  16. stillmatic

    stillmatic New Member

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    how long do you think is enough breathing room before i contact her again. she told me:
    a) she doesn't want a boyfriend right now.
    b) she wants someine that doesn't need her.

    i told her:
    a) to stop calling me, msg me, text me.

    note: her roommate is moving out this jan. and she'll be all alone with a $750/month rent, i eventually wanted to move in with her. should i plan this before or after her roomate leaves. i want us to be best friends again.
     
  17. harleysilo

    harleysilo New Member

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    WHAT?!? Move in and best friends. You just cut off all contact.

    Don't you mean you want to live together as BF/GF anyways?

    I don't think you should plan ahead for that situation. She'll most likely get a roomate anyways. She most likly won't want you to move in, if she doesn't even want a relationship at the moment. Sorry.
     
  18. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    nothing, unfortunately. if she wants to be with you she'll come around.

    :hug:
     

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