Some people get sad or irritable when they get chemically-depressed; I get sleepy. My understanding is there are three main cortical-activity regulators in the brain: dopamine (mood), seretonin (focus), and norepinephrine (energy). My dad has a mild deficiency in the first two; I think I have a mild deficiency in the third. When I get like this, I just want to sleep forever even though I'm not physically tired. I don't get psychosomatic pain, though, just lack of motivation to care about anything I normally care about. It's probably partly seasonal, though I don't usually seem to be affected by the decrease in sunlight in the winter like a lot of people do. (it's interesting, though, that there's a span of about two weeks each fall in which I seem to gain the ability to annoy the fuck out of almost everyone without even meaning to, and I haven't figured out yet if it's me or them.) This Thanksgiving was more stressful in some ways and much less stressful in other ways than past holidays have been -- I spent it with my dad and his girlfriend at her second home in Upstate NY, cooking and fixing old wiring and shooting the breeze with any of the 14 other people who came for Thanksgiving dinner, but I also knew my brother was spending his vacation with my mom and her asshole brother who constantly insults and degrades people so he can control them, and I knew he was having a crappy time. I didn't like not spending time with him, but he actually told me to go have a good time so at least one of us would, so I did. Still kinda felt bad though. I feel mentally exhausted, which is strange for this time of year; usually I don't get winter blues until after the new year, when all of the fun holidays are out of the way. But this year, I just don't want to have to pay attention to anything, and holidays are not conducive to that. I don't know where I'm going with this, just talking I guess. I'm not overwhelmed, just tired and disinterested in...well, everything...at the moment. Blah.