Time to end the relationship?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by knucks, Dec 23, 2007.

  1. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year and 8 months. it will be that long on Christmas day. Anyways: we started dating when we were seniors in high school, and now we are both sophomores in college. we do not go to the same school,we are 30 miles away from each other. I don't have a car at school so she comes to visit me every weekend or i come home to visit her. We usually see each other once a week during school. I went out with my buddy and some girls tonight and it once again got me thinking about where my relationship stands. I feel that I need a break from a relationship to "enjoy" college. I have not experienced any random hookups or anything since college has started and I feel a little stressed out / and feel like I am missing out on something. I am still attracted to her, but maybe not as much as before, and due to my feelings of wanting somethingn else, or maybe nothing at all, i feel that while I still love her as a person, I am either not in love with her or am falling out of love with her.

    I want to end things but I want to do it the best way possible and hurt her the least. It is not fair to lead her on with "fake" feelings. This time of year is pretty bad for all of this, I know. She has been invited to a family dinner on the 30th of this month, but all these feelings have got me wanting to have a talk tomorroow night when we go out for dinner.

    Please please please help, tell me what to do
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Tell her what you said in your post.

    It's straightforward, articulated in a mature adult manner...it's about the best you're going to get.
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :bowdown:

    yeah. why don't you do exactly that. they're your own words.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If you are having these feelings then do it, break up with her. You are not a bad person for having these feelings, you are completely normal and human. This is why I always wished I had listened to my older friends and family when they told me not to date seriously throughout high school going into college. You need to experience life at that age and find who you are. You will change so much from high school through college it is insane and it's understandable to think of the possibility of other people even if you do "love" your SO.

    I understand you want to break up with her and try to not hurt her, but realize that she most likely will be hurt. You can't let your fear of being the "bad guy" stop you from obtaining what you deserve, which is freedom. Do not put off the inevitable either. People always hold off the inevitable for stupid reasons like holidays or events, but the longer you wait the worse it is for you and it's not fair to them either.
     
  5. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Is tomorrow a good time to do it then? I feel like it would be good when we're out getting dinner..
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    YES. Preferably before dinner too. I mean why go out for a nice night when you are just going to make it emotional and embarassing in public for her?
     
  7. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    ive never done this. this is my first serious relationship. where would i do it before dinner? i was probably going to pick her up from her house..
     
  8. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    careful, dude. if you don't know how to get girls pretty well (be honest with yourself) you're going to feel real fucked up for a long time after this relationship because not only did you lose this girl you're in love with, not only was it your own fault, but you'll also be experiencing a massive amount of validation and sex-deprivation issues from having that shit ripped immediately from you. That isn't to say that you should stay in your relationship if you honestly don't enjoy it anymore, but understand the possibility of the above.
     
  9. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Came in here to post this.
     
  10. giz

    giz Active Member

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    excellent point. as a guy with almost zero relationship experience, I would have never thought of this. thanks. :bowdown:
     
  11. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    He said it before I had a chance to. You sound level headed about this and its obviously something you've thought about through and through. I don't think you're being bitter or unfair towards her. It would be only be unfair to her for you to continue staying in a relationship that you aren't 100% committed to.
    She will probably be devastated and not understand this at first, so just be prepared for it.
     
  12. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Your first post said it all.

    It is time to get out of this relationship. Unless two people are head over heals in love and plan to marry having a LTR in college seems silly anyway. You want to experience more, and you will regret it if you don't do it now before it's too late.

    Sit down with her and tell her you feel and break it off. No sense in dragging it out until one of cheats and creates huge drama.
     
  13. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    as ware_ru said: be careful. a lot of people break up because they want to be independent or experience new things in college, and they either end up getting into another LTR and not being independent at all, or they never find all those "hookups" they were looking for-- which can be quite empty and tiring anyway. If youre all set to do it, I would say basically what you did in that first post.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :eek3: :ugh:

    I am shocked that of all people you are in here telling him to basically reevaluate his feelings just because after he breaks up with her he might feel lonely. That's not like you at all. Where's all the PUA shit and "be a man and go find women?"


    OP, never ever settle. Even if you aren't the greatest at meeting women it is total bullshit to think "well maybe I better reflect on this decision...if I break up with her I might be alone for a long time." FUCK THAT. Look at it in the positive way, by breaking up with her you are no longer wasting her time and giving her time to plan an elaborate future together. You will be free to do whatever you want without having to report back to her. You won't have to feel guilty for meeting other women/talking to them. But most importantly, the point is that you are young and in college, you should be casually dating around and figuring out how women work in the first place, not just the one you've been with for 2 years.

    And to answer your question, you should do it before dinner when you get to her house. Say you've been thinking about it. No one wants to be dumped at a planned dinner around other people, plus you will probably chicken out because of that fact delaying the inevitable.
     
  15. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Would calling her ahead of time saying something along the lines of "Listen, I don't think dinner is such a good idea. Can we meet for coffee instead? I really need to talk to you about some things." be a better idea?
     
  16. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Why in a public place again? Why don't you just go to her house and tell her?
     
  17. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    . If you've thought about this and you know what to why take her to a public place to break it off. That's hurtful and embarrassing. DO NOT take her anywhere. Do it in the privacy of your house or her house. You can always do it outside the house.
    When I broke up with my ex i did it outside his house. I told him I needed to talk to him one night and I went over and broke up.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Dude, just go to her fucking house and break up with her there. Others have agreed, taking her to a public place is awful. Why is doing it at her house so hard to grasp? When you're done talking you can drive home and she can stay at her house and deal with it in privacy. If you go out somewhere and break things off you'll have an awkward stay wherever you are and then an even more awkward ride home.
     
  19. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    QFT she will only be embarrassed because shes likely to get emotional.
     
  20. ware_ru

    ware_ru I know, I know, I'm amazing

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    i wasn't telling him to convince himself that he actually likes her. but getting consistent sex while developing your social/sexual skills and lining up a group of girls you can fuck once you finish your relationship is not a bad idea. silly girl
    you are a girl. you do not understand what it means to have no sexual options or validation and have no idea how much and how long that can fuck with a man's head (for some - their entire lives).
     
  21. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :hs:

    good luck selling that one.

    but :werd:

    iwywb, there's "alone" and then there's alone. as a girl you will never experience the latter.
     
  22. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh yeah, because girls are never alone, single or depressed. They absolutely always have a slew of men waiting for them :hsugh:

    No matter what, it's still not something to say to a guy that is over his relationship and contemplating leaving his girlfriend. "Yeah man, you're unhappy. You should break up with her...but actually, you better really think about it first because you might break up with her and be single and alone, and that would suck...So yeah, you better stick with your girlfriend until you are sure you can find another piece of ass." Good advice.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Being "alone" for a girl means not liking her options.

    Alone means not having any.

    Girls don't understand the latter.
     
  24. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    That's such a stupid statement. There are women in existence who don't have any prospects, just like a man. There are women who isolate themselves from any men approaching them and those who possibly aren't desired by any men around them. You guys are always under this impression that every woman alive always has options, and that's just as silly as saying a man always has options. It's not black or white, there are plenty of exceptions.
     
  25. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    that's true. you prolly can't understand those women either.
     

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