Time for some "Top 10" lists. :D

Discussion in 'OT Driven' started by Guido The Penguin, Mar 3, 2003.

  1. Guido The Penguin

    Guido The Penguin Hi, I'm here for the gang bang.

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    I made these over on the Speed TV forums, but they turned out so funny I thought I'd share them with you guys. :big grin:



    "Top 10 Reasons NASCAR wont run in the rain."

    10. The water will melt the Dupont paint off of Gordon's #24 car.
    9. Water and Viagra dont mix, not good or Mark Martin.
    8. NASCAR has no official windshield wiper.
    7. Goodyear
    6. "Loose" and "Tight" would be added to "weeeeeeee!"
    5. Suddenly there wont be a use for the window washer guy during pit-stops, and the union leaders wont have any of that.
    4. It may give Dale Jarret a reason to run the big brown UPS truck.
    3. After installing a CD player/stereo in his #8 car, Dale Jr has no extra electrical accesories outlets to put windshield wipers on his car.
    2. Bobby Labonte's #18 Interstate Batteries car would short out in the rain.


    and the #1 reason Nascar wont run in the rain.


    People would stop questioning why NASCAR doesn't run in the rain.


    --------------------------------------------------------


    "Top 10 reasons the IRL is better than CART"


    10. Its easier to spell "IRL"
    9. Its easy to draw a map of an IRL course.
    8. Paul Tracy wouldn't be as good in Playgirl as Sarah Fisher would be in Playboy.
    7. The IRL has the Indy 500, CART has the movie "Driven"
    6. ABC knows how to cover motor racing (Oh wait, thats a reason CART would be better than IRL)
    5. Series that have 3 letter names do good (DTM, WRC, WSB)
    4. The IRL won the copyright infringment lawsuit over the IOC
    3. "Indy Racing League" is easier for Ralph Shaheen to pronounce than "Bridgestone Presents Champ Car World Series Powered by Ford"
    2. The Tony George/Chris Pook rivalry matches that of George Foreman and his waistline.

    and the #1 reason the IRL is better than CART


    Only at an IRL race can Tony Stewart go to a track and not be Boo'd.
     
  2. BoogieKnight

    BoogieKnight Active Member

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    hmmmm.....Indy 500 or "Driven"?

    Advantage: Push
     
  3. Guido The Penguin

    Guido The Penguin Hi, I'm here for the gang bang.

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    Top 10 Reasons the WRC will never come to the United States.

    10. A Petter Solberg/Anna Kornikova rumor would erupt.
    9. The threat of ABC covering the WRC is too great to risk.
    8. Richard Burns-Marcus Gronholm pay-per-view fight promoted by Don King.
    7. Real men dont need co-drivers, they need restrictor plates!
    6. Two French teams lead the series, and we know how much Congress loves the French right now....
    5. The last Citroen car to cross the big blue pond didn't do so well.
    4. Half of Tennessee's residents would want a Skoda Octavia on 44" super swampers.
    3. Lets face it, what town in America is going to close down their roads for a week to traffic, be able to get permission from enviromentalists, not get protested by locals, be able to get insurance, and have bagel shops for all of the British rally fans?
    2. After seeing the movie "Deliverance", Colin McRae swore he'd never drive in the woods alone in the U.S.

    And the #1 reason the WRC will never some to the United States.....


    Tony Stewart and Robbie Gordon cant decide who drives and who co-drives.
     

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