SRS Three Years and Nothing...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ms. Elbows, Jul 17, 2006.

  1. Ms. Elbows

    Ms. Elbows New Member

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    So...I have been living in a complicated issue for almost three years now. Here's the story...

    I was living in Denver for my first year of College, and around December 03/January 04, I met this guy in a Colorado chat room on Yahoo! Well he ended up being from North Carolina and was just looking for a friend of his. We hit it off immediately and he was making plans to come out to Colorado to visit his friend, and he had asked me if it would be ok if he could come see me as well.

    Well at the time he was going to be coming out, I was going to be moving back to New Mexico. He then asked me if it would be possible for him to come out to Las Cruces to visit me, but I had barely met him and I was a little apprehensive about that whole thing, and I thought that maybe that was the end of what was to be our friendship.

    So over the course of the time that passed, we started getting closer and closer, and we slowly learned things about each other that brought us closer. We had so many things in common and it was amazing how easily we could talk to each other. We talked on the phone every now and again, but it was mostly online.

    One night as we were talking about everything and anything, he went so far as to ask me to Marry him...without even meeting me in person. Well he had made plans to come out to see me in March of 05, but those plans fell through and we'd rescheduled for May of the same year. But around that time I had moved back home and those plans fell through yet again.

    I lost touch with for a couple weeks, and I thought for sure then that it was over. Well our friendship continued, and around October, we decided to become boyfriend and girlfriend. Crazy as it sounds, we thought it would be a good idea. Well...things went well for about 5 months, and he had made plans again to come out to see me in april...and then around March he told me that maybe the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing wasn't a good idea because he couldn't stand to be with me if he wasn't with me...does that make sense?

    Well...as of recently we've sort of drifted apart, we still talk and stuff, but he's started meeting other girls and I think this last girl he's met up with is going to take off. I don't even know where to begin to figure out what happened...i mean there were so many opportunities that we had that always fell through. It's like there's something holding us apart for some unknown reason. I need some advice...I'm upset and depressed about it, but I don't know what to do anymore.

    :wtc:
     
  2. Broken5hift

    Broken5hift New Member

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    i think the major failure in this was the distance. you end up liking people you havent met or dont really know because, well, you dont really know them. you will in all the blanks with hopes and dreams, all the good stuff your sure will come out of the relationship. but the truth is you cant have a relationship without constant contact with the person. the same reason alot of marriages dont last anymore, people do their own thing for so long and then they figure hey lets get married and end up living together and suddenly its not just you anymore and people cant handle it. anyways, the point im trying to make is, let it go. more or less your just tricking yourself into having feelings for this guy. sure he is good to talk to online, and a good friend to you, but realistically a relationship with him over that distance will just leave you in here feeling how you feel now.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    It's really hard to deepen a relationship when it's long distance and you only have genuine contact a weekend or two every few months.

    Why not keep him as a good friend, and start looking elsewhere for relationship possibilities? Why? Because he already has.

    You're chasing after a dream, an illusion, based on the memories and fantasies of something that only half-existed....a long time ago.

    Let's get into the now.
     
  4. Ms. Elbows

    Ms. Elbows New Member

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    a quote from my myspace blog....

    "I don't have the option of being with someone closeby, because if I did, it would have already happened...doesn't that seem logical? You may not see the logic in it, but I know I do. I know how I feel about it. I know what I've been through and what I'm yet to go through."

    because it's true...thanks for all the advice and stuff. I know I need to let it go or whatever, it's hard but i have to. i'm not gonna be the...i don't wanna say ex, cuz that's not really the case, but the previous partner i guess that keeps bugging and bugging, maybe keeping him as a friend is a bad idea as well...i guess we'll have to play it by ear. i sent him this...

    "******,

    I don't know if you've read my latest blog or not, but if you haven't...well...I just wanted to say that i've finally realized that there's not going to be anything other than friendship between us...it's become boldly apparent over the last week or so.

    I Can't pinpoint the exact day or what that I first began to realize it, and maybe it should have been apparent from the beginning. Because there's a lot of miles between us...even though about a year ago, you were all i could think about, it just doesn't seem logical that there was no way we could be together. but, that seems to be the case.

    I know things between you and that ***** girl are starting to take off, and i have to say that of course, that's not exactly the greatest news for me, but you seem to be happy about it, and by the looks of your blog, aside from the having to come home early thing yesterday you had a great time and enjoy being with her.

    Like I said in my blog, maybe somewhere down the line, we'll finally have the opportunity to be together, and maybe it was meant to be all along. we just can't see or plan that far in advance.

    I don't want us to stop talking because i have enjoyed having you as a part of my life. You have brightened many a cloudy day for me. And even though right now isn't the best point in my life, and i'm sure you get tired of hearing me complain about all the shit that life has dealt me, you still sit there and listen to me. I thank you for that. most people would just tell me to take my problems elsewhere.

    You'll always have a special place in my heart and deep down inside i'll always love you. I hope that when everything blows over with me and I come out of this little funk i'm in, i'll be back to being my same old self again. i just need some time to myself to think about which direction i need to be taking myself in. I'll talk to you soon.

    Always Me,
    ****"
     

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