SRS /Thread

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by EYOB, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    I'm just speaking my mind. There is no purpose to this thread.

    I've already made an appointment to see a psychiatrist (potential prescription) for the first time in my life coming this Tuesday around noon.

    Primary reasons: laziness & occasional stupidity. These two things constantly give me problems. I logically understand that I need to correct em, but when it comes down to it, I fumble and fuck up.

    I quit my last job at the end of July because I was about to get fired. I had that job for 4 months, the job before that, 2 months, job before that, 2 months.... I usually hold onto a job between 2-6 months. Best way I can explain it, is that my mind cares, but my body doesn't.

    I procrastinate heavily when waking up, extremely tired, regardless of how much sleep I get, which constantly gets me in trouble for being late.

    I seem to not know what to do at work at times, causing me to constantly seek help from coworkers and superiors as well as going slow. I don't think myself as stupid, but at times I don't know how else to describe it.

    College classes I've failed, English I & II, Art Appreciation, Humanities, Intro to Ethics. I currently have only 30 college credits. I retook all but one of these classes and barely passed em. The only explanation I can think of, is that it bores the shit out of me, preventing me from focusing on it, more importantly I'm too lazy to try.

    No friends, never socialized with the opposite sex. Failed my junior year of high school intentionally after finally noticing that primary education is not perpetual and not knowing what I was going to do after high school (I graduated on time[many summer school classes]). Most depressing moment which may be a bit obvious - 4 months Marine Corps Boot Camp. I'm of Ethiopian descent, 6'5", 185lbs. God I made such a mistake joining the Marine Reserves. I should have committed to college instead. Being so skinny and not having an aesthetically pleasing American face contributes to myself not having confidence or self-esteem.

    I understand logically what is wrong with me, but do not have the willpower to correct myself when action is necessary. I can not move forward in life until I figure out how to get past this obstacle.
     
  2. Schadenfreude1

    Schadenfreude1 New Member

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    Sounds like a textbook case of depression with a dash of ADD. You need help with your self-image as well. The only reason i know this is that the first 25 years of my life were exactly the same as you describe.

    You need to accept the fact that you DESERVE to succeed and be content. You'll learn to stop sabotaging you potential successes. Your therapist and maybe some meds will help you get there. Keep your chin up. It'll be alright.
     
  3. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    Correction, my appointment will be on the 2nd, which is a Thursday.

    And I didn't expect that response, I was expecting trolling. :o
     
  4. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    trolling is kept to a minimum in the Asylum.

    I agree with Schadenfreude1, sounds a LOT like a combination of ADD and Depression. Good news is, you can get treatment and you can start to turn this around.

    You also need to start socializing. Human's are social creatures and being a recluse/anti-social/hermit are NOT normal human behaviors. It's important for humans to have contact with other humans. This will in turn help boost your self-image and self-esteem, both of which seem to be non-existant atm.

    Go to your appointment, be frank, honest and open with the Doctor. Hiding anything is not going to assist you in this matter. Good luck!
     
  5. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    What's their limit ?? They are humans too, and regardless of their job, I'm sure there's only so much of a sob story they can take before they resent it or get bored. :dunno:
     
  6. Replicant

    Replicant New Member

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    Just keep it honest and make sure they know what you want out of life. You choose the therapist, they don't choose you. If you genuinely aren't making a connection with the person, fuck 'em and get another.

    You sound a lot like me. I start shit all the time that I never finish. You should finish things more often. Keep true to yourself and finish the goal. You'll feel a hell of a lot better about yourself by doing this. You'll feel capable and find the next thing easier than before.

    Keep going!
     
  7. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    Crap. I made a mistake again. My appointment is today, not Thursday. I was right the first time. My fault for not writing it down. I got lucky. My father woke me up this morning. My appointment is in 2 hours. It took me a month to schedule this. Would have sucked if I missed it.
     
  8. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    Mother fucker. They told me to come back in three weeks for a prescription. The nurse beside the doctor was surprised I didn't get medication. I can only assume that thought I wasn't being genuine and just trying to get 'high'. They want me to get an EKG and get some blood work done. The nurse hinted that if I get this done soon I can come back earlier than 3 weeks, but I don't think that'll happen. I think the EKG is just for their partners to get some cash. I got an EKG a few years ago, but they said I still need another one. I'm in excellent physical condition, including blood pressure, no surgeries, etc. Fuckin 3 weeks. on the 23rd of October. They said they want to give me some new ADHD medication that works for 13-16 hours, works 'miracles'. I don't think I'll try finding another job till I get that medication.
     
  9. nofriends

    nofriends OT Supporter

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    Don't be so reliant on medication thinking it will be the cure all. Use it as a method of last resort as some of them can have some nasty side effects. As other have pointed out, it seems like you have a self image issue with a side of ADD. While medication can help, a lot of it will still be in your head. You have to get over the fact that some people may not like you or the way you look, but who gives a shit? Learn to be happy with yourself and with some treatment of the ADD, you could grow well.
     
  10. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Maybe they put your appointment off because you were so hungry for medication? You sound like the medication will make you all better and fix everything.
    You need to take control of your life and body and if you need medication have it be a small part of the healing process
     
  11. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    I just told them my issues. They suggested it. I did conflict with them when I said, I wasn't a hyper person - ADHD. And I also asked them if it would help with my laziness, they said it would give me a side effect of 'spunk'. I'm extremely skinny and I think they were worried about that as well, and perhaps that I knew what ADHD meant. EDIT: Oh, and I had a tendency not to look the doctor in the eye, which is normal for me, but might have given him the sense that I was lying about stuff.

    I won't know what effect it has, till I try it. :dunno:

    The main problems I have is attention and laziness.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 1, 2008
  12. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    And sometimes that is just because you are a lazy person with little respect for what you are doing.

    I know a few people who lack drive. They just can't seem to get the motivation to do anything and end up just wasting their life away. Would I call them depressed? No. Would I call them selfish, lazy and childlike? Yes!
    What would I prescribe? A swift kick up the arse and for them to be told to grow the fuck up and realise you're not a child any more and you have responsibilities.

    Who knows where your symptoms come from. But waiting for drugs so you can fix yourself is not the answer and just proves that you have no desire to better yourself as a human but you want to get prescribes pills so you have an excuse to be lazy. "It's not my fault.... it's my body - see I have to take pills and everything, it's not my fault"
     
  13. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    I tell myself, I don't want to live with my father at 24 years old, I don't want to keep quitting jobs, I don't want to keep getting fired from jobs, I don't want to be late to work, I want to do good at work, I want to keep a job, I want to get to work on time, I want to pass my classes, I want a secondary education, I want to succeed, I want to advance my life, I want to have friends, I want to be normal, I don't want to fuck up, I don't want to think of myself as a worthless piece of shit, I want to stop posting about this shit, I want, I want, I want, I want....

    But when it comes to it, what I want for my future, both the immediate and far future, nothing compares to the present. I still fuck up, I'm still late to work, blah blah blah. I'm stuck in life. I know it, but.... I honestly don't know what to say at this point. I can't rationalize with myself why I can't correct myself, why I don't have the proper motivation, the willpower needed to correct my faults. OT may be right. I 'just' need to correct myself. I notice, with laziness, I just care about the fact that I'm tired when I wake up and all that wishful thinking is a load of crap.

    Going through Marine Corps Boot Camp (Reserve) and other training hasn't done shit for me. I regret joining. Perhaps what I needed was a good beating. I've thought of that. Meh. I honestly have no explanation to give myself that makes sense. The only assumption I have seems to go against OT's 'expert' advice.

    Only one thing left to do.... :wackit:
     
  14. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Have you looked at your diet? If your body is lacking in essential vitamins and minerals it won't work properly.

    What about a simple trip to the local GP? Maybe get your iron levels tested?
     
  15. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    A nurse told me to try insure, which I can get a wal-mart, some drink.

    Aside from an EKG, they want some blood work from me. I remember they also said they wanted to check my adrenaline levels. This paper work I have says for the diagnostic lab to do:

    Comprehensive metabolic panel
    CBC with differential & platelets
    UA with reflex to microscope
    TSH with reflex, T-4, Free
    lipid panel

    I have no idea what any of that stuff is.
     
  16. EYOB

    EYOB Guest

    I finally did the blood work and EKG. They looked at my EKG said I might have pericarditis. I got checked out again with an EKG. Doctor said since I don't have bad aches, I probably don't have it. I hope this doesn't affect any likelihood of receiving 'help' from my psychiatrist's office.
     

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