Thoughts on women taking husband's name

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by fray, Apr 11, 2008.

  1. fray

    fray New Member

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    What is everyone's thoughts on a woman taking the husband's name when they marry? I understand the tradition is to take your husband's name, but why is it such a blow to a man's ego to not do so?

    What about when you were professionally known by your maiden name before marrying? Is it still insulting to keep your maiden name professionally and take his name in your personal life?

    What are your toughts on this?
     
  2. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    All of the women on my dads side have kept their names save one, on my moms side everyone took their husbands name. I don't really see what the fuss is about.
     
  3. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I'll probably hyphenate, and hyphenate my children's last name as well. Or come to some sort of compromise like the kids can have your name but they get French first names. My name, family, and heritage is important to me:dunno:
     
  4. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I fully intend on keeping my last name if I am at a point in my life when I get married that I'm already practicing. I'd even consider hyphenating mine with his, but if I'm already established, there's no way I'm dropping my last name completely. If it's such a problem and a blow to his ego then I guess I should re-evaluate the relationship based his self-esteem, eh?


    I dunno. That's just the way I feel. It shouldn't make a difference, but different strokes for different folks
     
  5. Vanilla Tarantino

    Vanilla Tarantino OT Supporter

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    Well, they take everything else the man has, so why not his last name? :mamoru:

    Seriously though, I think it's such a blow BECAUSE it's traditional. It's simply what is expected - perhaps a sign of dedication from the woman. You are no longer Miss Jones, but now Mrs. Smith...the Mrs. of Mr. Smith. I can't explain why, but I think it would be nice if my wife took my last name (but, I have a freaking cool ethnic last name). That being said, I certainly would not get bent out of shape nor object if my wife-to-be were to decide to keep her last name. My sister is keeping her last name (mainly because she's already established a name for herself, and partially because our last name is much cooler than her fiancee's).
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Because men have such fragile ego's :mamoru:

    I don't really know. I can't imagine my last name not staying the same. My dad actually begged me to keep my last name because I'm the last one (go figure).
     
  7. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    I'd change my last name. My last name means nothing to me and is a Scandinavian mouthful.
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

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    Our names wouldn't sound good hyphenated.

    My bf is not thrilled with the prospect of me keeping my name, even professionally. But I've worked so hard and accomplished stuff as my name... it seems weird to switch. Espeically when I will have been practicing for a while before we marry...
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    So you guys aren't engaged but marriage is going to happen for sure? Just curious.

    Edit-I could never do the hyphenated thing. I like my name, but I'm not so attached to it to go that far, nor would I need to for work. I just think it's a bitch to change your name everywhere.
     
  10. fray

    fray New Member

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    I don't have a ring, but we otherwise are all but engaged. It's a money and school issue, and I don't really care. But it will happen eventually...so we talk about it now.
     
  11. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    I think if I'm practicing first...I'd want to keep my name too. Name recognition is a big deal to patients. Or hyphenate. Its one of the reasons I'd like to be married before I begin to practice, along with a slew of other professionally motivated things. I'm not against taking his name, its just not a good idea necessarily if you've established a name for yourself.

    Edit: actually...I dont think I could be hyphenated. I would be *first name* *maiden last name* *husbands last name* but no hyphen, so I could ignore it outside of the professional world.
     
  12. fray

    fray New Member

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    see that's what I think. He disagrees. But he likes to disagree... and I think he'd just get a kick out of me being dr. his-last-name...
     
  13. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    yeah....i feel like my bf wouldnt like me being like that either. Ill ask him about it, but he's a really traditional kid so i just have a feeling. oh and, pretty much the same situation as you...school and money is the priority first.
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Is everyone on this fucking board pre-med or what?
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl:
     
  16. Atheist

    Atheist oh, hi OT Supporter

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    I hate that
     
  17. fray

    fray New Member

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    optometry
     
  18. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I honestly feel that if its going to tear its way out of my torso it should take my name. Its a compromise.
     
  19. fray

    fray New Member

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    :rofl:

    the thought of something growing inside of me creeps me the fuck out.
     
  20. Atheist

    Atheist oh, hi OT Supporter

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    I think that the idea of compromising with your SO over something that will ultimately affect someone completely different from each of you is not right. The idea of trading `okay we'll keep your last name but I get to give them funny first names` is silly, it treats the changeably facets of an unborn child as commodities.
     
  21. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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  22. fray

    fray New Member

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    I'm actually considering dropping my middle name and keeping my last as middle and then take his last name...
     
  23. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    me too. its the best way to go.
     
  24. piper

    piper New Member

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    My thought on this: is foreign parents should atleast consider giving their kids american names, so that way they can retain their culture personally but still be able to have a normal american lifestyle, and school will be alot easier w/ an american name.

    just a thought though, since names could mean a lot culturally to foreign people. :dunno:
     
  25. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    audiology
     

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