SRS Thoughts on "seeing" another girl while dating your girlfriend?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FyreDaug, Sep 20, 2006.

  1. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Just wondering what OT's thoughts are on this subject, as it seems to be common. I dont know if it crosses the line to cheating (unless theres sex involved really). But I know some people who are "tied down" by their girlfriends and want to go out and meet other girls. I never really had a view on it. Its like hanging out, maybe a little closer than that.

    And if you were hanging out with another girl more often, would you tell your gf about it?
     
  2. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    sexually attracted to the girl?
     
  3. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    hmm good question. Maybe? Play it out either way

    edit: if your a guy and you want to hang out with a girl, you would probably bone her anyways. so actually lets say yes
     
  4. adi

    adi oh brahhh

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    Would you be cool with your girlfriend going ("hanging") out with other guys often? Given the exact situation of what you said in your 2 posts?
     
  5. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Well I would be, but thats why im asking OT
     
  6. killer4605

    killer4605 New Member

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    if you are sexually attracted that's getting close to cheating (in my opinion anyways). usually you don't hang out with girls unless you are looking for a relationship or a fuck... and if you already have the relationship...:nono:

    if not sexually attracted then i'd say it is possible to hang out and just be friends without it being a problem.
     
  7. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    That's kinda inaccurate.... I hang out with girls all the time and I'm not actively looking to fuck any of them, and sure as hell don't want a relationship right now.
     
  8. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    define 'seeing'
     
  9. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    If you can't be full-on full-on honest with your girlfriend about what you are doing with this other girl then it is cheating.

    Also, your girlfriends jealousy and feelings must be considered.

    People are different. Take me for example. If my girlfriend had a guy friend that she had been friends with for years and wanted to talk to on the phone occasionaly or even hang out with occasionaly I wouldn't have a problem with that.
    If she wanted to spend more time with him - or if her time with him was more important then her time with me - then I would get jealous.

    So assuming she isn't spending an inordinate amount of time with him, assuming that she is spending her quality time with me then why would she have to fear telling me what she is doing with him? If I called her on her cell phone what reason could there possibly be that she couldn't say to me 'Oh I had Tim on the other line, give me a second to hang up.'.

    BUT....

    If she FELT that she NEEDED to hide him from me, that tells me that it is more then platonic.

    The short of it is that if you can't discuss this with your girlfriend then you shouldn't do it.
     
  10. rgsamson32

    rgsamson32 New Member

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    Depends on the reasons. Way I see it, if you are asking if its cheating you already have the idea it is. Old skool way of thought, do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. So if it's ok for your girl to do that, then go forth. If not and you'd mine, remember you cannot take it back and I'm sorry is just two words that mean little.
     
  11. Chipwich

    Chipwich Porno Mustache

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    If you really liked this girl you're seeing then I wouldn't think this is a great idea.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    sounds like you want to see other girls, in which case lose your girlfriend because you are bound to fuck up and cheat with the attitude you have about it all, and that's just not fair to her.
     
  13. Kreigore

    Kreigore New Member

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    It's wrong to "see" another person while currently dating anyone else, in my opinion. If you had a previous history of friendship with the person of the opposite sex (or same, if you prefer), it shouldn't be a big deal.

    If you're "on the prowl" looking for someone else while dating your girlfriend, she's probably not giving you want you want or need. It might be a good idea to tell your girlfriend what she could do differently. Sure, she may bitch or be taken back, but it's all in how you word it to her.

    Are humans attracted to others? Sure, I see girls who are physically attractive, but it doesn't mean I'd go for them because I'm in a relationship for the long haul.
     
  14. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    Think about it this way.......if you're hiding it from her there are reasons:

    a) you don't want her to know,
    b) you know she'd want to know,
    c) you know she wouldn't be happy about it.


    Man up...if you're not happy, tell her. If she tries to fix whatever is wrong, fantastic. If not, break up. "Seeing" someone while you have a g/f is cheating even if you never touch her.
     
  15. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Well this is all hypothetical, Im not really in a situation like this
     
  16. FyreDaug

    FyreDaug lolswift

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    Well we are happy together, and I havent "seen" anyone while we have been dating anyways. And I totally agree with the abc's
     
  17. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    It would depend on the nature of the relationship. I view platonic relationships as simply friendships no matter what the genders of the participants are (I don't think anyone would argue on that point) and so going out to see a friend of mine who is male is no different in my mind than going out to see a friend who is female, because my intentions are the same in both cases.

    Looking at "seeing" other people where it is not a strictly platonic relationship is another situation. If you started your intimate relationship casually and the intention was to date around and not get serious, then by all means go and do your thing (providing, of course, that both of you are on the same page about the 'casual' thing). Same goes for an open relationship or an open marriage - as long as you are on the same page and agree, fine. It's when you go behind someone's back or if one party disagrees that it becomes a problem.

    There was a thread in the Vag a while back about a guy who was seeing other women on a one-night-stand basis, whose wife had no clue - and he felt it was morally right for him to withhold this from his wife as she would be hurt by this knowledge. I found this to be both unfair and cowardly. While I don't see anything wrong with wanting to sleep with other people, if you're going to actually go and do it, it's only fair that you give your partner the right to choose to do the same. If you committed to a monogamous relationship with your partner, it's basically a breach of contract to attach yourself physically/emotionally in a romantic manner to anyone else. Either re-negotiate your contract or GTFO.
     

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