Thoughts and Feelings

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Mallix, May 29, 2007.

  1. Mallix

    Mallix New Member

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    Good morning everyone. I'm here posting this more just to get some feelings and concerns off my chest. Nothing spectatular here, just my thoughts.

    I'm in love. I truely am. I didn't think that after my divorce years ago that I'd ever really say that again. When I wasn't looking a very special person caught my eye. I spent some time with her, got to know her, and fell head over heals in love.

    Now, I know I hurt her. I didn't do it on purpose, I did it by being stupid. I didn't cheat on her, I don't hit on other women. I judt didn't take her feelings or concerns into considertion with some of my posts here on the forum.

    I've posted things on here that are personal, and I've also posted some things about my past that may have hurt her. I don't know what I'm here looking for, but right now, it feels good to type.

    I don't have many friends except for my co-workers, and I try to keep my personal life away from work. Stange isn't it, that I'll post all kinds of things about my life, my past, and my current relationship on the internet, but I can't talk about it in person.

    I'm sitting in the airport now, and I can't stop thinking about the discussion we had this morning. I was inconsiderate and didn't think about her. I was wrong. I am sorry. The worst part, however, is that instead of spending last night holding her, loving her, and letting her know how much I am going to miss her while I am aaway on this trip... I spent the night in bed alone. I missed holding her close to me an whispering "I love you" in her ear. This morning before I left she told me what was wrong. I feel like such an ass.

    I'm so in love, and I'm afraid to lose what we've startd to build. I don't want to smother her, but I don't want her to be afraid and run. I fear I may have really hurt her, and caused her to think twice about me. I haven't lied, I haven't cheated, I may have exageratted a bit, and even added a few "details" to posts to help my ego, and make the "stories" a little bit better.

    Have you ever done that? Are you guilty too? Do you consider the feelings of your partner, your lover, your friend, before posting here?

    In the past, I hadn't even considered it. Today reality hit me.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    idrk wat to say man u two el work it out tho and yes i am in love at the moment
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Seriously.

    First post = Not enough details (in other words, you spent a lot of time writing about how you're feeling, but it was all vague and non-specific).

    Second post = Not enough English (in other words, you spent a lot of time writing... something... but it was all in txt/IMese).
     
  4. Kalypso

    Kalypso New Member

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    If you're in the doghouse for posting on internet forums maybe.. you should.... stop doing that and talk to her?
     
  5. Mallix

    Mallix New Member

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    That was pretty much the discussion we had this morning. I left feeling as though it wasn't completly resolved. I think things will get better, but having to leave on a business trip at what felt like the wrong time, really sucked.

    Thanks for listening to me babble...
     
  6. Mallix

    Mallix New Member

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    Second post to me is .. WTF? First post didn't have details as that was part of what GOT me in the dog house to begin with...
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    shouldn't you have the freedom to post whatever you want here without fear of her getting upset with you?
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  9. Mallix

    Mallix New Member

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    If I got it through my thick skull, it's not so much what I posted, but the fact that the internet isn't as annonymous as it seems. Posting to cyberspace when you're an unknown is one thing, but when with only a little work you can actually find out whom your reading about is where I fell short.

    It doesn't bother me in the least what most people think of me. I have a few special someones, (GF, family, and a very few close friends) where is does matter. When, however, I am ina relationship, I have more to consider than just myself. There are feelings, concerns, and things that some people just don't want to be made common knowledge.

    Bottom line, if you're ina relationship and posting about yourself, OR you and your partner, consider your partners feelings and emotions before you hit the enter button and let the word in on your life.
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I expect my partner to accept me for who I am and if she were to come across my postings to still care about me and love me for who I am and not what she wants me to be.

    Face it, her main concern is for how this reflects on HER.
     

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