SRS This sucks...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Handsom3, Mar 18, 2008.

  1. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    I'm pretty sure I've just had my heart broken and I'm watching my relationship fall apart, all while being stuck at work and not being able to do anything...
     
  2. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    Can you give some more details please?
     
  3. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Yeah sorry. Just really busy.


    Basically I'm tired of doing everything planning wise and doing all of the driving. She doesn't have a car and doesn't seem to want to get, yet she can drop $700 on a coach bag and buy expensive stuff for her friend that never buys her anything. More to the point here is that her solution is that we should hang out as much anymore. Right now we hang out about 6 days a week and I'm cool with that besides the driving. To me it feels like a cop out. I really don't know what to do here.
    Relationship Cliffs:
    - I'm 21, she's 19.
    -Been dating 1.5 years now.
    -Not living together, though it would help.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You're really really young. I know right now that doesn't matter in your head, but trust me. In a year you should look back on this laughing because you should never be with a stupid, young, immature girl who puts $700 Coach purses ahead of you and your relationship.


    Sounds also like you have no life besides her. Hanging out 6 times a week and you are doing all the driving? Dude, you've got to get a life, I mean that in the nicest way. Girls don't want a guy who has nothing else going for him but his girlfriend; it's not healthy or endearing.

    She will most likely never ever learn, so my advice is to next time date a girl with a more responsible outlook on life and her money. You should never be the one doing all the work to make a relationship function well. Her lame cop out is her very pathetic way of breaking up with you because she's just not that into you anymore, she just won't come out and say that.

    Move on. Stop talking to her completely, she's not in love with you.

    BTW, living together wouldn't solve shit. You sound like those horrible marriages where they think having a baby would solve all their problems :rolleyes: Be happy you DON'T live together because the fact of the matter is you have more interest in her than she does in you. Living together would only make her feel more suffocated by you and you two would crumble. Learn from this and move on to a girl who gives a damn about you. Have some respect for yourself.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    She sounds lazy and very unappreciative of you being with her. She should spend more time on giving attention to you. Or in other words its one sided love only coming from your side, i think you are just a convienant ride for her rather then a soulmate, you see love has got to go both ways, giving and taking otherwhise a very unhealthy situation will emerge. Its ok to love someone but you have to protect yourself, its not worth loving up till the point that it totally devestates your life.

    You need to show that you have a life of your own to live, and although you'll probably love her till the end of time which is perfectly fine, you have to come to the conclusion that you need a partner who is there for you mentally as well as physically supporting you, you have to be there for eachother, and she's mentally not mature or willing to spend that kind of quality time together with you.

    You need to stand up for yourself and tell her these things, after that you 'might' give it a month to see if things change, if they don't then you have to draw your conclusions and step out of this unhealthy relationship.
     
  6. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    WTF $700 purse????
     
  7. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Where does a 19 year old get $700 to spend on a purse?
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    1. Mommy & daddy
    2. Saving up all their money from working. When you don't have a car or bills to pay it can be possible.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you can do something.

    When you get a break, call her, tell her "we're done'.

    You'll have done something...ended a horrible relationship with a lazy little girl.

    Absolutely no point in staying in a relationship at this age if you're not getting what you want out of it.
     
  10. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    That's the thing, is we both do have lives outside of each other it jsut happens that our work schedule ends up allowing us to hang out a few hours every night.


    Well the thing is that living together would make things a bit easier. Public transportation make it easy for her to get around with out a car there really is no point to her having one. I mean I would not have to do so much driving, but I'm not going to send her home at midnight on a bus.


    Its not that she doesn't love me or do anything for me, I just get highly annoyed when I have to re-arrange my week so I can maximize time with her. She is one of the most caring loving girls I've ever met or been with, sometimes I can't do everything and she doesn't seem to pick up on this and it is annoying at times.


    This is pretty much what I told her. I went over there right after work to sort things out and that's pretty much what we did. I found out something, that I don't know if it is good or bad, but basically she hates making me sad so she is giving up time with friends who in the end get mad at her. Her cousin, who is a immature wanna be whore, has issues with me and my girlfriend because except for this we've always been somewhat perfect and she always get shitted on when it comes to relationships. Then again the cousin always sets herself up for it because she likes to play games.

    Basically she is guilt tripping the g/f into feeling bad. Tonight she was making my girlfriend cry because she told her she couldn't hang out because she had to sort things out with me. After finding all of this out, we talked about a lot of things including ending things, spending time apart, or trying to start over again. What it basically came down to was lack of communication and her being afraid to make me sad. We've decided to take things slow for now and build on this and see where it goes. Like suggested, I've given myself, not her, a dead line to where I should see improvements or I'm out.
     
  11. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Same place I got money to buy a new computer and car when I was younger. Its not hard, but she should of saved up for a car. We talked about this too and I went through a lot of things with her and it would be stupid for her to buy a car, but it was also very stupid of her to buy that purse and she knows it. I've got her saving money now every week, which I guess is a start of improvement on things.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You're so in denial it's amazing. You're not her chauffeur, I don't care how much you love her-it's not your job to drive her everywhere. The idea that moving in together because it would be easier for transportation? Wow, that's a new low in horrible and ridiculous reasons to live with someone. At 21 and 19 you two are not ready. You'd just move in together and things woyuld fall apart because your relationship isn't solid enough living apart.

    You do realize she is technically using you for your transportation, right? Even if she's not asking for it and you are offering it all the time she knows it's readily avaliable to her. I didn't expect you to see the light, you're too far in. But it's sad to see how jaded you are in this.


    Her cousin and other friends don't like you, they will eventually try to wear her down and get her to leave you. She most likely has a different view of you just because of that, otherwise she'd tell them to fuck off.

    Giving you two a time limit/ultimatum is a sign of the end, just so you know. And I'm willing to bet at the end of this "time limit" when she's still not acting ANY better you'll still stay with her and justify her actions, amirite?
     
  13. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    It's not like she ask me to take her everywhere, just when hang out I have to go get her and take her home. If she wants to go shopping she does and gets there by herself. I mean I'll take her somewhere if it is an emergence, but I never really drive her around to where she wants to go. I mean basically she gets off work, waits for me to get off work then we either go to my apartment or her parents house. That is pretty much 90% of my driving with her.

    Her other friends love me and tell me all the time how good we are for each other. Its just her dipshit cousin who has no friends what so ever that has issues with the amount of time we spend together.

    Well as of now there is no time line, we are spending time apart to see what will happen.
     
  14. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Just get out now. She's not making any effort to contribute to the relationship in anything other than a passive manner. This is not something you give someone time to improve on...this is something that has to be there from the start.
     
  15. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Well, this sucks and is total fucking hell. I have no one to talk to and no one to cope with. I really hate my life right now.
     
  16. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Beer is right
     
  17. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    Red flag. Materialistic girls ftl.
     
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Just as I thought. She's your everything.

    Girls don't like a guy who has nothing going for him in life other than his gf. You need to get a life man. Get out, make friends, try new hobbies, work out. Fill your time with something other than her and thoughts of her.
     
  19. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    If you honestly want to talk to someone, you can call me up anytime of the day... unless of course I'm asleep and totally knocked out :o




    You remind me of a friend. His current relationship is somewhat similar to yours in the way the the GF doesn't have a mode of transportation, has a minimum wage job and works only 8 hours a week and relies on my friends to do everything.

    Yes, they live together.

    Yes, he's happy.

    Yes, he's in denial.

    They spend about $300 a month because they eat out constantly. She doesn't want to cook, he doesn't want to cook, and well, he pays for everything. He pays for the rent, the groceries (when they have some), the gas. He's the one with the car and it's a shitty car with shitty gas mileage (one of those shitty Crown Victoria's).

    He's digging himself a hole, and she's plain lazy. But ... I guess he loves her, eh? :dunno:


    Take a step back and evaluate the relationship. What would you say to a friend if they were in the same situation that you're in?

    IMO, if she believes that a COACH purse comes before you, don't make it so that she's right. You should come before anything else. If you let her walk on you like that, she's only going to keep on doing it.
     
  20. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    I do have a life outside of her, it just most of the guys I'm friends with would give me the :ugh: look if I started talking to them about it. Plus my family is in the Grand Cannon right now so I can't call them. Just sucked laying in bed thinking about everything last night.
     
  21. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Not to defend her or anything, but we don't eat out that much and actually cook together so we could learn to cook. With her we kept doing that 50/50 pay for things 100% of the time, hell she was the first girl that even gave me gas money with out asking.
     
  22. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Just because she was the first girl to give you gas money doesn't really mean anything in the overall picture of things.

    To me, it just sounds like she would rather have her money spent on materialistic things then be in a relationship with you.

    If she's being more distant with you because of what other people think of your relationship then she's being immature and just bringing drama in. Who cares about what other people think? Sure, the cousin that always ends up in a bad relationship should be pitied but honestly, that's her own fucking fault for choosing the wrong guys.

    Your GF shouldn't be punished by her "friends" or relatives because she's with you. And if she allows them to do this to her then this is her own fault, and her own making. She has a choice to listen to them or not and honesty... that $700 on that purse could of honestly been saved for a decent car that is cheap and has great gas mileage.


    If you still want the relationship to work then you might as well compromise with her and say, "OK, we'll hang out 4 days a week" instead of your usual 6 or something.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Great, you have friends. Go hang out with them and DON'T talk about your girlfriend. I don't blame them for not wanting to hear you whine about her and your failing relationship man, can you blame them? They are your "friends," you should be hanging out with them to STOP thinking about her and not hanging out in bed crying about how you are lonely.
     
  24. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    I pretty much told her what I though about her cousin using her and shit. I don't think she liked that, but I had to be honest. I told her if she wants things to change she has to do it. That was pretty much it.
     
  25. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    That's the plan, but it just sucked last night not having anyone to vent too.
     

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