I've been in serious relationships before, even a couple longer than this, but htis is the only breakup that's given me that sinking feeling in my gut. I don't know if anybody is gonna bother reading all this, but there's nobody I know that I feel comfortable talking about this with. Hopefully somebody here is bored and will take a look. If not, it's out there and for some reason it makes me feel a bit better about it. I dunno if it was a dumb decision completely breaking it off with her, but I don't know if I could handle being with her feeling the way I do and knowing she doesn't (19:51:26) Her: hi (19:51:29) Me: hey (19:51:49) Me: I might cut out on you 'cuase my wireless is being flakey (19:51:52) Me: just pre warning (19:52:04) Her: no problems (19:52:05) Me: so how's it oging? (19:52:53) Her: just studyin u (19:53:48) Me: sitting here watching tv (19:54:18) Her: i c. shouldn't you be at practice? (19:55:41) Me: should, but I sprained my wrist pretty bad on saturday, remember (19:56:08) Her: oh yeah. that bad? (19:56:37) Me: yeah, i went to the hosptl last night to get x-rays and it's actually fractured (19:56:53) Me: just have to take it easy for a couple weeks (19:57:42) Me: I didn't think it was that bad, but all day yesterday the swelling kept getting worse so I figured I should get it looked at (19:58:06) Her: wow, guess u better lay off rugby for a while (19:58:47) Me: haha, yeah (19:58:56) Me: just means more free time for a couple weeks (19:59:15) Her: u should take up readintg (19:59:29) Me: I should... (19:59:30) Me: (19:59:36) Me: so how was the rest ofyour weekend? (20:00:15) Her: sunday went to school to study for my midterm today (20:01:22) Me: oh yeah, how'd that go? (20:01:49) Her: it was kind of hard. but i know i passed its all good (20:02:19) Me: good to hear (20:03:05) Her: yeah (20:04:02) Her: but yeah wut else is up (20:04:07) Me: not much (20:04:17) Me: went to see that Russel Peters show at teh QE last night with my cousin (20:05:20) Me: a bit better than brokeback (20:05:35) Her: hahaha. yeah that wasn't exactly the best. (20:05:59) Me: it's alright, we got to talk more thn I thought we would during movie...the people behind us probably didn't like it too much (20:07:58) Me: so, how busy are you this week? (20:09:30) Her: sorry, i was gone from the comp (20:10:15) Her: well, right now we still have midterms so i'm still as busy as I was last week. (20:10:35) Her: 8-| (20:12:40) Her: u still there (20:12:42) Me: did you have some time to meet at some point then? (20:12:54) Me: yeah, sorry still here (20:13:44) Her: i think ur a great guy, and i bet we would excellent friends, but i can't promise anything more than that. (20:14:13) Her: right now. (20:15:04) Her: i mean we could still hang out, but about the future............ (20:15:42) Me: ok, well I guess I don't know how to respond to that (20:16:34) Me: I have a great time everytime I'm with you, but I guess there's no point in going further if that's the way you feel (20:17:40) Her: i know i love being with you too. and i think that we can go further, but not leading to anything serious.......i don't think i'm ready to make that type of decision yet. but i want to be friends. (20:18:28) Her: its just how i feel right now. (20:21:04) Me: I'm happy being friends for now and taking the relationship slow, but in the end if what we're looking for in this relationship is different I dunno... (20:24:03) Her: so that's cool then. i just don't want u to lead u on or anything u know. i don't want u to feel like u can't go meet other girls, in fact, i would want u to. and we can continue to be friends and then nobody knows about destiny right. (20:24:44) Her: ? i think if its meant to be it will happen, but other than that.........i'd like to build a friendship (20:25:46) Her: ur not saying anything? (20:26:22) Me: sorry, this conversation doesn't flow in my head as well as most that we have (20:26:54) Her: sorry, if i'm making it confusin (20:27:19) Me: well given how our relationship started and how we met, I imagine it being akward every time we're together (20:29:10) Her: really? well, i guess if thats how u feel, then.......i guess i wish u the best in the future, and i hope u find what u are looking for. mind u, that doesn't mean, we can't be msn friends, right? but then again, its ur decision. what r u saying exactly? (20:33:23) Me: k, well, if we are going to go beyond this point, I guess I gotta ask what changed over the weekend (20:33:56) Her: what do u mean? (20:34:58) Me: I mean you said you're not ready for something this serious, but I don't really think that's how you felt last week, and it's only been two days since then (20:38:47) Her: i just don't see us being romantically involved. (20:39:43) Her: but thats the difference between when we first met and now. (20:40:14) Me: ok, well that's I guess what I needed to know. (20:40:29) Me: I personally am very attracted to you (20:41:53) Me: and that's the problem. I hate that this is happening, and given how I feel I don't think I could be just friends. everytime we're together, I'd see you and know that you don't feel the same way about me (20:45:42) Her: oh see, you are a very sweet guy, and with time, i honestly think i could become romantically involved. but i don't want to lead you on, and get everyone's hopes up or anything. and if it doesn't work out, its just going to cause a lot of heartbreak. (20:46:41) Me: I can't say that this feels good. I know it's only been a couple months, and not the longest relationship I've been in, but being with you I felt different than with any other girl I've been with. (20:47:42) Her: are you saying you love me? (20:48:21) Me: i don't know if I'd make that bold a statement given how long we've been together, but I did feel there is something different about us (20:49:52) Her: Unfortunately I can't say I feel the same...at least not yet. (20:50:17) Me: OK then, and I apologise for maybe grilling you the last ten minutes, but I did need some answers before I could say anything definate. Sorry it didn't work out better, and good luck in the future. (20:52:00) Her: hey no problems and i actually respect that you want to know, and i hope you do have good luck in the future also. i am sure you will find somebody and she will be one lucky girl. Goodbye (21:00:42) Her has closed the conversation window. (21:06:00) Her logged out.