SRS This is why my relationship failed.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Necromancer, Apr 23, 2008.

  1. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    Her name is Lindsey, we dated for 15 months, I love her with all my heart. This was her first major relationship, and my third. She's been the only person I could really be myself around, this included my family and best friends. I think it got to a point when we came too comfortable with each other, we didn't keep each other on our toes.

    Let's go back 2 years when I started dating this girl the summer after high school. We only dated for 3 months (it was one of those intense summer flings) then she went to college and the typical fall out happened. It was a big slap in the face; my outlook on relationships went south and I become heavily jaded. When I started dating Lindsey I had my guard up for nearly most of the relationship, fearing I'd get fucked over again.

    I had this mentality that I didn't need Lindsey or anyone for that matter. I screwed her over a few times, bailing on her important things for work/friends etc. This was mistake one; all in all I was just a shitty SO sometimes. I wouldn't call her when I said I would, I'd do little things she hates etc. but it was because I felt a bit trapped sometimes. Mistake two- We didn't communicate that well. I did shape up though but I would still let her down from time to time.

    About ~4-6 months into it, she read an aim convo with a friend about how I missed my Ex Gf. It was literally for a day and I would have never acted on those feelings. But this stayed in the back of her mind, eating away like it would with anyone. I never told her how much I really loved her, how happy she made me.

    Then a month ago, we got into a huge fight and I screamed at her like I've never screamed at anyone (and we never fight) and for some reason I turned into a little boy again, completely dropping my guard and feeling like I needed her but she put up her guard. She started to realize something was making her unhappy and it was the relationship. We were never mad at each other, in fact things were going great. But she realizes she's better off on her own. I might be too. :hs:

    I'm probably leaving a lot of shit out but things happen for a reason. I know this, it was a great trip, had so many great times. I know where I really messed up and I wish I could change things but life goes on. I will try to better myself and learn from it.

    This sucks. :sadwavey:
     
  2. HardTech

    HardTech hungry

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    Look at it this way - your life is better after experiencing your relationship with her. You would still be the same old you if you had not been seriously hurt.

    As long as you learn and become stronger, don't feel bad. Just know that there will be someone better out there for you, and it's your responsibility to try and not fuck THAT relationship up.
     
  3. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    This is very true.

    I'm just trying to hang in there, I keep having my moments. Right now I'm feeling fine but an hour ago I felt completely broken. It's hard to keep your self occupied to keep your mind off things.

    :hsd:
     
  4. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    :hug:
     
  5. controvert

    controvert OT Supporter

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    The only thing helped me was time when this happened to me back in the day....just don't try and make something work that isn't destined to work.
    :hug:
     
  6. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    Just keep distracting yourself. One day you'll just think back on her and go "that was a nice time in my life but it's been over for awhile now.." and it won't affect you as much anymore.

    I'm going through the same thing right now. You can't force someone to be with you. You just deal with it as it comes. If they come around, they come around, but if they don't all you can do is keep moving forward. Someone else will land in your lap another day.
     
  7. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    Yeah no doubt. That's how I feel about the girl before her, it was a nice time but I don't really care for it now.

    I did the one thing no man should ever do and make their SO their best friend. I literally lost contact with all my other good friends, it's like I don't have anyone to turn to.
     
  8. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    It's not a bad thing that you become best friends with your SO. It's nice when you have that strong of a connection. It is a bad thing when you only want your best friend in your life and nothing else. You can have more than one friend.

    Call up your old friends...say jokingly 'long time no see' or some shit..if they really were your good friends they'll be down to hang out again, but don't hang out with them only to complain about your break up, just do as you normally did and keep your mind off it.
     
  9. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    With work, school, etc. she slowly become my only good friend.

    And I've been doing just that, calling up all my old buddies. So many of them have moved, time to be more social again since the semester is almost over. I'm thinking a real job should be next. It'd get me out of the house more (I've been doing freelance web design) and keep my mind off things.

    I appreciate the words everyone.

    :hug:
     
  10. Xin

    Xin OT Supporter

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    Just get out there and don't worry about it. You'll meet someone in school or some shit another day. It sucks when things don't work out, but hey, if you're meant to be you'll find eachother again someday.

    Sometimes relationships start too young and a nice long break-up ends up being the best thing for them to come back together at a better point in their lives. You can't hope for it, you can't ride on that thought, but sometimes it's a nice little thought to get you through this time.
     
  11. Necromancer

    Necromancer Guest

    I'm not going to worry about it, I've got a lot of things to worry about. I find when I try to find someone, it works out, but that one time when you're out at the bank to pay bills you don't want to, you'll meet someone.
     

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