Third meeting is going to be a date

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by mistergixter, Jul 13, 2008.

  1. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    Cliffs are below.

    So here is some back story. Thanks to OT, my confidence has been up as of late. Thanks to Yail, I no longer talk to my ex. So a week or so back, I went to a BBQ on the 4th. Small BBQ and just hanging out. One of my friends older sister was there. I found her hot. When I first got there, she swore up and down that she knew me, but I didn't remember her. So the night goes on, we flirt a little, I give her a light touch or too. Later after she left, I ask my sister's bf who is really good friends with her brother and her to get some details about her, like how old she is, is she single, the basics. Never went past anything there, I found out she is 30 and she might be single. So fast forward to Thursday, I get a phone call on from my friend that I need to come to Starbucks now. I told him no, he then said, her brother just pulled up. I was there in 10 minutes. Well, she asked about me and her brother is willing to make things happen. So last night, my sister and I decide to have a BBQ and invite her bf, the girl and her brother. A very convenient way to get her over to my house. To kind of shorten the story, we flirt a little again. I walk her to her car and receive a nice big hug, like bodies close hug. I then man up and tell her that I want to take her out sometime soon just me and her. She lit up and smiled and said she would like that. I proceeded to get her number. So now I am stoked:hsd:. She is super hot and just a really cool girl. But I need to get to know her more. So here is my question for OT, which will appear after the cliffs for you lazy asses.

    Cliffs
    Meet girl at BBQ, I like girl.
    Girl asks her brother about me
    Girl comes over for a BBQ, I get her number and going to setup a date with her.

    Here is my idea for a date, so this will be the third time we will be seeing each other, so I was thinking, maybe a dinner and mini golf, or some sort of action date where I can flirt with her, by touching and what not. Any suggestions?
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    mini golf is good

    i would suggest no dinner

    if it turns out neither of you ate before the date you can always hit up some fast food

    date should be short anyways so eating a meal together is easily avoided

    your goal here is to leave her wanting more
     
  3. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    what if she asks to go eat for dinner? save the dinner for the second date?
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    Do you want to be with a woman who tries to change a date from mini golf to free food for her?

    When you make the date invitation, you could even say "I'll eat dinner then pick you up at 8."

    If she's interested, she won't have any issues with this.

    She's managed to get herself fed her whole life, she's not dependent on you for food.
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'd even suggest throwing out "Well, I already ate" or "i'm not hungry" followed by "But I'll certainly give you company while you eat".

    You just need to make it clear casually that it is fine if she wants to go eat, but you are not paying for it, or are only paying for yourself if you do eat.
     
  6. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2007
    Messages:
    21,652
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area
    If she agreed to that it would be incredibly awkward. I hate when people go out to eat with me and then don't order anything. It's like they're staring at me the entire time.

    I'd go with the above suggestions and just say I already have plans for dinner but I'll pick you up right after at (xx) time.
     
  7. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    I go to school at night, which is about prime eating time. I am already going to ditch one class to go to music in the park, Flogging Molly is playing and I am going to invite her to that. I was going to take a night off of school to take her out for dinner. I just have to be patient and just be myself.
     
  8. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm a girl, so my opinion may be invalid, but I don't think there's anything wrong with you taking her out to dinner. It's not like this is your first meeting and you're worried she's just using you for free stuff. You've both talked and have a common interest and she seems genuinely intersted in you.

    I see where the guys are coming from and I don't think it's bad advice for the future if you're just randomly meeting girls and trying to take them out to get to know them. However, in this case, you've had a few opportunites already to kind of feel her out, so I think this is a little different.
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    dinner = boring
     
  10. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    11,134
    Likes Received:
    8
    If the date sucks then you just wasted money on dinner with a shitty date.
     
  11. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    Music in the park with Flogging Molly. That is going to be my initial plan, if not then I will use dinner as a backup. I agree with Fray, we've hung out twice already for 4-5 hours at each time, granted it was with other people, but they were all our friends. I think the mutual attraction is there, she asked about me and was very excited when I asked to take her out. So my opinion goes along with fray's, the dinner is not about boring or fun, it is about getting to know each other. But for what I have in mind, the outdoor concert will be fun getting to know each other too.
     
  12. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2002
    Messages:
    5,197
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've always gotten the idea that some sort of pizza place/take-out kind of restaurant would be good for a date. You're not blowing a ton of money on some sit-down restaurant, it's classier than fast food, and still usually pretty tasty.
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    sexual attraction and tension is what matters in the beginning

    there will be plenty of time to get to know each other later

    a little mystery is a good thing
     
  14. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    4,994
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thats disgusting, honestly. I wouldn't PLAN for dinner, but if after golf (or whatever) you're both hungry where is the harm in getting some food in a low key cafe? Either way you're both getting food, you're both paying your way (which is up to you, she can't MAKE you pay for her). Why is spending 6 bucks a piece on shit food that you'll eat in the car better than spending 15 bucks a piece somewhere you can sit down and chat about all the fun you just had/how big your cock is or whatever it is you'd like to discuss.
    I get the short thing, but if thats the case really, just say 'sorry I hve dinner plans' and drop her off. Fast food is disgusting, I can't imagine a guy wanting to go there period, let alone on a date.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :rofl: thank you for saying exactly what I wanted to.

    Dinner is not always "boring." I don't know where in your mind or what PUA book you read that said taking a girl to dinner wont get you laid, but dinner is fine and dinner can get you laid. It's still a matter of one's attitude and just how much a girl is into you already.

    TS, you don't even have to pay her way for dinner. It is possible to say "I'm hungry, what about you?" At which point you can go to a low-key eating establishment, not McDonald's, and pick up some food.
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    And I've been involved in a game of checkers that had me at the edge of my seat and the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

    We've both waited tables, so you know as well as I that more often than not, girls on dinner dates are FUCKING BORED.
     
  17. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2005
    Messages:
    62,453
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Durty Durty ATL Niggah
    dinner for a first date can be a bad idea for the various reasons mentioned previously but something like ice cream if it is warm out can be a good...
     
  18. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    Although I make every effort to eat healthy, sometimes I do have fast food.

    A girl who is disgusted by the a fast food restaurant isn't going to be the right girl for me.

    Obviously a guy who is "above" fast food won't take her there.

    And you should know from all the threads we've had about it that the majority of guys here who need this type of advice have major problems getting her to pay her half. They don't want to make it an issue, so its easier for him to just pay.

    Or he could avoid the subject entirely by NOT TAKING HER TO DINNER in the first few dates. Save it for later. What's your hurry? Why do you want to sit down and interview each other? Have some fun first.

    Women have been "liberated." He's not responsible for feeding her. If he times the date in such a way that it doesn't directly conflict with a normal lunch or dinner time, why should he even have to concern himself with the issue?

    And if the participants are 100% opposed to fast food, then go to a cafe like you mentioned. Just don't let that be the ONLY DATE ACTIVITY. Do something FUN first, then go eat.
     
  19. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree with this. My point was not that I think he should do only dinner, I don't...but I don't think it should be some huge deal that he try to avoid like the plague. Putting that much thought into what excuses he can use to avoid taking her to eat is just way too much effort. If you're hungry, fucking eat and don't worry about it.

    As far as her being a grown adult able to feed herself, she is also able to take herself out for something fun and get herself laid if she wants. Your point is silly. You're not doing it because she's incapable, you're doing it because you're trying to date each other.
     
  20. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

    Joined:
    May 5, 2002
    Messages:
    57,467
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    the streets
    :werd:

    My point is he doesn't have to automatically assume responsibility for her getting fed.
     
  21. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    agreed.
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ok...to change the topic...let us know how the date goes!
     
  23. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2008
    Messages:
    213
    Likes Received:
    0
    Good call Matt. Well I called her today around 1:20 and have not heard back from her. I don't know if this is the Pisces in me or just my personality, but it is killing me that she has not called me back. But that is just me, and if she calls, she calls. But again, here we go with my wild imagination, if she wasn't interested in me, she would not have come to my BBQ and not given me her phone number. So she is just busy, or that is what I tell myself.

    Going against what Yail said, I am going to work out dinner at a brewing comapny, followed by a 'random' walk in downtown, they have fancy stores where we are going and then by 'surprise' we will end up at an ice cream store.

    This gives us sometime to get to know each other and being a girl, she can do some window shopping. If it is a cold night, which I hope it will be, I can hold her close to keep her warm. But this all involves her calling me back.

    Hi, OT this is the part of MG that needs to go away and STFU.

    Thoughts?
     
  24. David

    David New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2004
    Messages:
    9,384
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sacramento, CA
    Updates, bro?
     
  25. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,960
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    Please don't ditch class to go out on a date. Why didn't you set something up for a time when you didn't have class?
     

Share This Page