SRS Think I found closure, what a weird feeling

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Hops, Dec 8, 2007.

  1. Hops

    Hops OT Supporter

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    My girlfriend of 10 years left me back in July, I was devastated and hated everything. I hated her and was mad every day for months. She got a new boyfriend, which pissed me off even more. blah blah blah.

    Anyway, she messages me the other day asking if we can still talk as friends, and I pretty much tell her to fuck off, do so for a few days. Then one day something clicks in my head, don't know what it was, but I felt bad for being an asshole...so I apologize and now i'm not mad anymore, i'm glad that she's found someone that makes her happy, and we can talk like the friends we used to be.

    Weird feeling.
     
  2. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Sounds like you're REALLY fucked up now


    I mean, if you read that.... it sounds like you could be potentially going psychotic.
     
  3. Hops

    Hops OT Supporter

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    Maybe so...but if I feel better who really gives a shit :p
     
  4. Dodger Blue

    Dodger Blue OT Supporter

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    If you're feeling okay now from the break up. It might still be better to distance yourself from her. If you can do that without feeling bad and live life then you can move on. I just think that maybe still being her friend might bring some hard times in the future. Maybe not, but if she were to say to you that she's getting married you never know what feeling you may get. She is not married now, just take so technically things could change and you could get back with her. So maybe since you're friends with her again you have a sense of happiness.
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Prolly feels weird because you're aren't used to it. It actually sound like you've reached a very healthy place with this. Good for you....very mature attitude. It's too bad that so few ever get to this kind of place emotionally.

    Oh and ignore the douche that thinks he's funny by saying you're going psycho. He's not funny nor is he correct.
     
  6. daxtrader

    daxtrader New Member

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    Honestly, you've not found closure AT ALL. I had a similar experience. I felt bad for her too and said i'm glad she found someone else and is happy. Deep down though, and you may not admit this, you're hoping she'll realize what a good person you are by wishing her the best etc. She doesn't care dude. It's okay, continue being an asshole to her IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT. Don't put up this nice guy front. Do what makes you happy. She should not control your happiness.

    I've noticed that a lot of the times after a break up we do things to gain approval of others. You hope that your ex will come back because you're trying to change. Don't change for her though. It's very hard to find something that makes YOU and only YOU happy and you couldn't care less whether your ex approves of it or not. Only then you can say you've found closure.

    I don't know if I'm making any sense. I'm not good with words but I hope you kinda understand what I'm trying to say. The problem is, once you understand that you need to be independent of her and do things on your own accord, you'll then want her to notice how "independent" you are in hopes of her approval. It's a vicious cycle. It's kinda like "okay i'm gonna do what makes me happy (i hope she notices it)."

    Moral of the story? To truly break free, forget her. Consciously do things that help you forget her. Move on. I've read that you should try going on a trip all alone. A place where you don't know anyone. This will help you realize your self worth. It'll make you believe that you can survive alone and be happy alone and that ultimately your happiness rests with you. This mindset is a must before you get into any relationship.
     
  7. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    You're so correct.

    The fact that you can talk to her like a normal person without any ill feelings is awesome. I remember I had a close friend for 2 years and we went out, but I broke up with her after 3 weeks. She hated my guts and refused to talk to me. I cannot imagine the pain you must have suffered. Go with it, it's something that most people can't do.
     
  8. camarocane

    camarocane New Member

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    +10000000000000000
     
  9. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    :stupid:
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Awesome man! Finding closure is the best feeling. Try to still get out there and meet new women.
     
  11. StayLRG

    StayLRG New Member

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    i reached a point where i could see talk to my ex. then i made the mistake of seeing her. i realized just how immature she was by her actions towards me. haven't really talked to her since. but congrats on finally getting over things. it's a great feeling.
     
  12. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    I'm not sure if you're can be truly over a 10 years relationship in 5 months. A breakup is a roller coaster of feelings. You will go through phases of hating her and wont' talk or see her, you will miss her and want to see what she's up to, then there are time you simply feel numb and don't care about much. Maybe you feel better because you finally got your dose of that chemical addiction you've been missing for 5 months. You know love is like a drug.
     

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