Things I've learned from my past relationship

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ep, Mar 27, 2010.

  1. Ep

    Ep Guest

    I'm gonna vent first, so don't mind me.

    A lot of these things are pretty obvious and some of them might even be down right weird but I learned a lot from my relationship. I dated this girl for 3 years, and I cared about her very much, but we argued a lot. Sometimes because I was an uptight, cranky douche and other times because she could be a jealous, overbearing nutjob. There were times when I wanted to break up with her but I never did. I was scared of being alone and I DID truly love her (whatever that means for a 23 year old). The problem was that we were so much a like in many ways but in the ways we differed, those things were truly important.

    She cheated on me when she was away in california and broke up with me when she got home. I can't even be mad at that because I cheated on her too a year or two ago. Then again, I hooked up with some fat disgusting chick purely because I felt so CONTROLLED by my girlfriend and felt like I was "missing out" and knowing my girlfriend, who isn't the type to cheat, probably fucked this dude in california. When she dumped me, she completely cut off contact from me. My parents bought her a car, which she still owed money on, and she would pay it back pretty much on time by a check in the mail.

    So someone went on my facebook the other day, and it gave me the IP address. I googled "ip address tracker", and it gave me temecula, california. So I knew it was her, and I knew she had moved to california. I think the WORST apart about this breakup was that when she came home from california, I picked her up at like 6am when her plane arrived. she didn't even look happy to see me and I knew something was up, but brushed it off as she was tired. When I tried to have sex with her at home, she was like a corpse and had NO emotion. When I was like "fuck, I'm about to..", I stopped for a second and regained my stamina and kept going. She just looked at me and said "I thought you were going to?". It was just really traumatic. I knew it was over then

    What I learned

    1) never call your SO a bad name. If you care about them, there shouldn't be any name calling. Maybe a slip is okay, but anything frequent is just wrong and unhealthy

    2) if your girlfriend acts like a nutjob when she is drunk, and ruins an entire party for you just because you said "hi" to some ugly slut, it's time to break up. My ex would ruin so many parties by fighting with me over NOTHINGGGGGG, to the point where people banned us from their houses. I always told myself "let's just not drink, or do it privately" because personally, I don't even really like to drink. I now know that drinking is going to happen if both people aren't completely straight edge, and it makes the relationship even more stressful when your SO ruins a party and then you don't go out to another one for MONTHS and then she ruins another one again. It keeps you on a thread thinking everything is okay, but then when something bad happens, you think the relationship should be over

    3) Never dating another girl that I actually like who isn't over 21. I might casually see someone but I've been hurt too many times to trust girls who aren't 21 with years of my life. They always change on me

    4) This sounds weird, honestly, it's true. When I dated my ex, there was a point where the sex was pretty much 0. And do you know why it was? We had been dating for 2 years, and honestly I just wanted to see another chick naked. My girlfriend was great in bed, but you know how guys can be.. So I wouldn't cheat on her, but I would watch porn all the time. This completely killed my sex drive. I'm one of those guys that I bust once and I'm pretty much done for the day (usually). So no more porn when I'm in a relationship. This will probably make the sex even better

    5) If your best friends say your girlfriend is crazy, they're probably right and you should SERIOUSLY think about why they feel that way. Are you not seeing something that they are?

    6) Be very careful of women with father issues. My ex had serious parental issues and it definitely affected the relationship. There was a point where she was living at my house for about 8 months because her freaking mother stopped paying the bills (and didn't tell anyone she was falling behind) and so she was evicted. Her father is a piece of shit and it definitely skewed her views on things

    7) Keep it fresh. I have this problem where I stop doing cool things after awhile because I get too comfortable with just sitting around hanging out. Fuck that! I mean, I don't like to go to parties or bars really, but that doesn't mean I should sit around. I have plenty of hobbies, but my ex didn't share any of them. My next girlfriend will definitely be into my hobbies as well or we will have something to share together.

    8) Even if someone tells you that "cheaters are pieces of shit and they should burn in hell", doesn't mean they haven't or will never cheat

    9) Never dating a girl again who doesn't have friends because she hates the world. This leads to clingyness and resentment that you have friends

    10) I'm breaking up with a girl if the thought "should we still be together?" crosses my mind, multiple times.
     
  2. Repus

    Repus New Member

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    What I learned

    1) never call your SO a bad name. If you care about them, there shouldn't be any name calling. Maybe a slip is okay, but anything frequent is just wrong and unhealthy

    TRUE

    2) if your girlfriend acts like a nutjob when she is drunk, and ruins an entire party for you just because you said "hi" to some ugly slut, it's time to break up. My ex would ruin so many parties by fighting with me over NOTHINGGGGGG, to the point where people banned us from their houses. I always told myself "let's just not drink, or do it privately" because personally, I don't even really like to drink. I now know that drinking is going to happen if both people aren't completely straight edge, and it makes the relationship even more stressful when your SO ruins a party and then you don't go out to another one for MONTHS and then she ruins another one again. It keeps you on a thread thinking everything is okay, but then when something bad happens, you think the relationship should be over

    TRUE. It's best to avoid crazy parties with her until you're super comfortable with each other. Do NOT bring a girl to a party too early in the relationship unless you're 100% confident that the other people there won't fuck things up (ie. cock blockers or exes that can lead to awkward situations)


    3) Never dating another girl that I actually like who isn't over 21. I might casually see someone but I've been hurt too many times to trust girls who aren't 21 with years of my life. They always change on me
    TRUE. Only 21 and older let somebody else mold her

    4) This sounds weird, honestly, it's true. When I dated my ex, there was a point where the sex was pretty much 0. And do you know why it was? We had been dating for 2 years, and honestly I just wanted to see another chick naked. My girlfriend was great in bed, but you know how guys can be.. So I wouldn't cheat on her, but I would watch porn all the time. This completely killed my sex drive. I'm one of those guys that I bust once and I'm pretty much done for the day (usually). So no more porn when I'm in a relationship. This will probably make the sex even better
    EXTREMELY TRUE. I dont watch porn if I'm in a relationship.

    5) If your best friends say your girlfriend is crazy, they're probably right and you should SERIOUSLY think about why they feel that way. Are you not seeing something that they are?
    I might be a bit crazy myself, so I dont really care.


    7) Keep it fresh. I have this problem where I stop doing cool things after awhile because I get too comfortable with just sitting around hanging out. Fuck that! I mean, I don't like to go to parties or bars really, but that doesn't mean I should sit around. I have plenty of hobbies, but my ex didn't share any of them. My next girlfriend will definitely be into my hobbies as well or we will have something to share together.
    Luckily I'm not boring so I dont have this problem.

    8) Even if someone tells you that "cheaters are pieces of shit and they should burn in hell", doesn't mean they haven't or will never cheat
    Yup, and just because a girl claims she is "classy" that doesnt mean she wont act like a slut.
     
  3. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    What I've learned:

    1. Don't kiss the ninja.
    2. That's it.
     
  4. Ep

    Ep Guest

    I just feel like an ass for going out with her for 3 years. We would always be really cool ALONE but when any kind of adult situation occurred we fought like children. Sometimes because of me but primarily because of her.

    I just got the shitty end of the deal because instead of breaking up with her the 2 occasions where I felt like she had really crossed the line, I stayed with her. This lead me to being unhappy and not being the boyfriend I'm capable of being so then she fell out of love with me, cheated on me and then dumped me. So I kind of got the shitty end of the breakup

    Although I feel like shit, it's probably better this way. When I called her to ask why she went on my facebook, we talked for a little bit and she is seeing that guy she cheated on me with. She's probably even living with him. But the dumb bitch said to me at the end of the conversation "I hope you find what I found because I'm so happy"

    She's been dating the guy for what, 3 months now? It's possible she met someone who she really cares about, don't get me wrong, but personally I think she's just crazy and falls in love with every guy she likes- then ignores them completely when they breakup. I wasn't the first boyfriend she had that she did this to. Hopefully the poor sap doesn't have to deal with her immature shit when it comes to controlling, manipulation and jealousy:wiggle:

    Now I just need to fuck some women
     
  5. danewreed

    danewreed OT Supporter

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  6. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    Good luck with that. :hsugh:
     
  7. Ep

    Ep Guest

    I might watch it if my SO goes away, but there is no reason to watch porn on the reg if you have a girlfriend you want to sleep with
     
  8. Ep

    Ep Guest

    international football league? :dunno:
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Porn helps you get through dry spells in sexual relationships.

    Use it to supplement, not a replacement.

    If it starts messing with your sex drive then stop it.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    oh, and the rest of your points I agree.
     
  11. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    interesting.
     
  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Ninjas are crafty fellows...
     

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