Like everyone else on this board, we'll come here to express our deepest inner thoughts to people we'll never meet because it seems more personal then anyhitng. Over the past 4 weeks things have just been a straight shot down hill for me. It all started on New Years eve. I was pulled over for a tag light being out. I know this was my fault, it was illegal, I should have had it on my persons in the first p[lace but whatever. I was caught with posession of MJ. I think thats where it all pretty much started. Well, I kept it from my girlfriend and ended up telling her a couple days after New Years. She flipped out and told me all this shit just because she was mad. She was upset with me and I wasnt supposed to be that kind of guy. So what, I fucked up and I let it happen. Well, Over the next week or so I started feeling sick to my stomach every day. I couldn't hold down food and became depressed to a point. I couldn't do anything but think unhappy thoughts and there was no way I could get them to leave. I still cannot get them to leave. Over that week and into the next my girl had been pretty distant from me. Not that she didnt want to see me but I knew things were different. It wasnt like this when she left. Come to find out, she cheated on me while she was over seas. She refused to tell me and even made me feel guilty about thinking something like that because she would never do it. Well, who would have thought. Anyways, we talked about it and she said she was sorry, she said that she knew what she fucked up and wuold do anyhitng to fix it. Obviously like the weak sucker I am, I took her back. I took her back because before I knew she was worth everything I could dream of, this girl was perfect even though I know everyone is not. During all this time work hasnt really been giving me everything I had planned for it to. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere and what I'm doing wouldnt benefit me for life. I kind of trapped myself in a medium on what the hell to do, which I still havent figured out what to do. Well here I am now. I think I have pretty much worried myself sick. I cant eat, I cant sleep and I can barily drink. I'm a nervous wreck all the time and cant seem to get any type of negative thoughts out of my head. I first thought it was a real sickness and went to 4 different doctors. They all said I seemed to have a fit of depression and RX'd me to some antidepressants, which totally fucked up my system. I now have constant nausea, feeling of vomiting, stomach pains and diarrea. I have always been a pretty insecure guy and now I think its getting the best of me, and its pretty much turning me into nothing. I dont know what to do, who to see or how I can even start to get these feelings or thoughts out of my head. I dont know where to go from here and I'm scared. I'm scared of losing my job, I'm scared of losing my girl, I'm scared of losing myself in all of tuis and I hate it. The feeling is nothing I have experienced before. I need to fix myself OT before something bad happens. I just dont now what to do.