SRS There is a reason for everything but how to explain it?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by skitcy, May 15, 2005.

  1. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2005
    Messages:
    1,302
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Seattle, Washington
    I do believe in God and that he has a path for us all, basically everything happens for a reason.

    What I cannot find out is an explanation, over my entire life, ( more than 20 years ) something has continually gave a reason to destroy all relationships with male or female I have ever felt like having.

    I have no mother because that relationship was destroyed when I was little. More than 8 times relationships with girls have been destroyed by intervening men or reasons that I cannot seem to understand why me.

    I have come to a point where I want to just seclude myself from the world forever it's like dying over every time another relationship is ruined. I was once suicidal and it is starting to come back and I fear it alot I have no idea what to do. In no way am I obese or have any reason to be depressed and girls are interested in me but something always happens that one reason that ruins it.

    Life isn't about relationships I realize but it sure as hell is hard when your friendships and relationships always get ruined.

    I just don't know what to do I guess and I am just ranting here.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The Cycle of The Soul

    http://home.quicknet.nl/qn/prive/kes/cycle.pdf

    This book saved me from suicide migth want to give it a read.

    The reason that you are failing your relationships is because you are not defending your castle all that well. Life is still really like a Fortress that everything within it is what you hold dearly, and that with the bridge you allow only the good things to pass and stay in, and using the castle walls as a defence to let the things out that you do not appreciate, and simular you must have had weak defences to let everything out of your life slipping as easily as sand as you have done in your life. You might also have been overwelmed in your youth by certain events in which it must have looked to you that it would never be possible to maintain a relationship. If you want to maintain a relationship you have to fight every odeal that is thrown at you ,and you have to keep your chin up and defend what you hold dearly. Do not give up , a lionsheart is required, it is something you have to let grow and try to conquer small things in your life first, try relationships, and don't expect it to work out just because it concerns you, but let it work out because there is a love that goes 2 ways, and because all of the facts are stable to maintain the relationship. Which is that you have a 'future' to offer , and friendship to give. You cannot hold life, it is like sand that slips thru your hand, but as long as you are here you can try to cherish or obtain more of it.
     
  3. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,942
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    I have the same problem with fucking up friendships and relationships. So I don't bother making new friends and don't really have a real girlfriend. I just kind of look at it like maybe friends and girlfriends would get in the way of my life purpose. I mean I can see how it would, as I get much more done when I'm by myself. Yeah it'd be nice to have a support group, but maybe that's just not how it works for some people
     
  4. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    aluyminium, seeing as you are both in the same boat ...

    how would you like to meet one another??

    al, meet x, x meet al ...

    all jokes aside, you are essentially reaping what you are sowing.

    If you want to be good at relationships, then you have to handle your emotions appropriately. These sorts of outbursts show lack of control on your emotions, and lack of well-being. I could support you and say, keep up the good work!!

    But, god damn!! Pull your finger out!!

    There is a big, WIDE world out there, and it is waiting for YOU!!

    Seriously, there are SOO many women out in your world that want to hear from you, and you only have to put your best foot forward to be heard!!

    Both of you have to take action NOW to solve your problems, and accept that failing, or making mistakes is a BIG part of life, and learning. Otherwise, I would recommend that you get some help from your local psychiatrist / psychologist, and move forwards from there. There is no shame in it, for the answer will be provided for you there!!

    Ciao!!
     
  5. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2001
    Messages:
    73,475
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Houston, Texas

    You are placing a lot of blame outside of yourself. That does not mean that other people and things you cannot control are not to blame, but attitude can affect more than just you. People can pick up how you are feeling and your attitude might be feeding into how they respond to you or do not respond to you. When you are starting a friendship or a relationship, do you anticipate something bad happening? I knkow I hav edone this. I have grown worried and my insecurity ended up having me either overcompensate or drive the person I was with to gain a littel distance from me.

    Once I changed my attitude, I found that people were more comfortable around me, more open, etc etc....By no means am I saying that things are perfect in my life because I am still working on establishing and maintaining relationships and friendships. However, instead of seeing the negative, inspect each situation adn see if there is a common denominator...for all of these situations..maybe you can re0open some lines of communication and find out from friends and former exes what went wrong..if that doesn't work, just try to learn from each situation. Failure often happens because we stay in the same routine, are not open to change, or fail to improve on what we can do better or help someone else do better in understanding you. good luck dude...

    This is a long shot, but maybe your strained /cut off relationship with your mother has somethign to do with your relationships?

    life is short but not so short that there is still some time to try again with new people who WILL get you and who will trust in you as someone to have in their lives .
     
  6. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,109
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Australia
    you are a wise young woman, thanks for your input!!

    :bigthumb:
     

Share This Page