The withholding of sex

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MissKitty, Dec 28, 2009.

?

Using sex as leverage or withholding sex as punishment

  1. I am male and my so/partner withholds sex from me

    31 vote(s)
    33.3%
  2. I am male and my so/partner doesn't withhold sex from me

    37 vote(s)
    39.8%
  3. I am female and I withhold sex from my so/partner

    1 vote(s)
    1.1%
  4. I am female and I don't withhold sex from my so/partner

    24 vote(s)
    25.8%
  1. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2004
    Messages:
    50,618
    Likes Received:
    179
    Location:
    Dingoland
    Men: Does your woman withhold sex from you when she is pissed off or trying to get something?

    Women: Do you withhold sex from your man when you are pissed off at him or wanting to get something from him?

    I get that in most cases you don't want to have sex with someone you are really angry at. I am talking about being pissy and not really quite angry at them.

    Personally I can't imagine withholding sex from my husband. I enjoy sex and have no desire to not have it to prove a point or punish someone.
    I have heard men go on about how their women will withhold sex but find it difficult to believe and wonder if it is just something they say.

    Even when I am annoyed at my husband I still want to jump his bones - and happily will
     
  2. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2005
    Messages:
    13,722
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    at your mom's house. be back later.
    Never. Ever ever. We do not use sex as a weapon.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Complete fucking manipulation bullshit.

    That's an insta-dump offense on the same level as cheating.

    Using sex as a tool (eg. manipulation) is indicative of so many problems I don't even want to go into it.

    edit - I believe it is common.
     
  4. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Messages:
    14,024
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    FL
    Nah. I'd rather hate fuck than not have sex if I'm mad/upset at my partner.
     
  5. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2005
    Messages:
    124,890
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Kc
    I've been pissed off before and told my gf to leave my apt. Same thing ?
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    I don't think I've ever been in a relationship where sex didn't turn into a power struggle on some level.
     
  7. AtheistUnicycle

    AtheistUnicycle hey baby let me heuristically estimate your pussy

    Joined:
    May 20, 2008
    Messages:
    10,287
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Valley Stream/Potsdam, NY
    i'm male, she probably wouldn't have sex with me if she was pissed off at me. she's hardly ever pissed off at me, though. :mamoru:
     
  8. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

    Joined:
    May 4, 2007
    Messages:
    3,795
    Likes Received:
    0
    make up sex ftw
     
  9. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    :rofl: So wait, being angry at your SO and therefore not being "in the mood" doesn't count as withholding sex? No wonder the poll results are so off. :mamoru:

    I've never not been in the mood because of a fight before. Hell, I've had sex during a fight before. I think if you've ever not been in the mood because of a fight that should still count as withholding. Because that's what you're doing even if it isn't a conscious decision.
     
  10. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2006
    Messages:
    38,220
    Likes Received:
    9
    Location:
    Seattleish
    It is only punishing myself if I withheld sex and I wouldn't dare do such a thing...
     
  11. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2009
    Messages:
    408
    Likes Received:
    0
    My ex used to withhold sex to get my to clean my apartment, more specifically my room...you've never seen someone clean their place faster than me in that situation. Since we had such an active sexual relationship (minimum twice a day) I cut her off a few times, like the time she told me that if given the opportunity she would leave me for Hayden Christianson. Cut her off until she apologized :p

    Of course it was mostly in good fun, we never had any serious fights
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2009
  12. Fachh

    Fachh New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    1,961
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    BC, Canada
    haven't experienced this yet and I definitely would not tolerate it.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    I've never actually thought to myself (or declared out loud) that we weren't having sex as a result of a fight or anything. I have of course gone to bed pissed off at him though with no desire to "make up" with sex :dunno:

    Edit: Not to mention that when those nights have happened it's not as if he was trying to get me to have sex with him :rofl: If we're both mad at night we just roll over and fall asleep to sleep on it
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2009
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    Hold on.

    There's a difference between "being pissed off and not wanting to have sex" (which happens to everyone) and "being a manipulative bitch and withholding sex."

    It's manipulative when the woman uses it to get the guy to do/not do certain things that she wants.

    Like:

    Woman: "Do the dishes"

    Guy: "I'm busy doing other stuff"

    Woman: "Do the dishes and I'll fuck you"

    Guy: *runs into kitchen and starts doing the dishes*


    Honestly, I couldn't even imaging getting a boner in that situation. It'd be like "here's your reward, little boy" :ugh2: With the subcommunication of "I'm not fucking you because I'm attracted to you, or because you make my pussy wet, or because I can't control myself, but I'm fucking you because you did what I want. It's going to be mechanical and I'm not going to be into it."

    Hence why it's an insta-dump.

    Not to mention it means you're dating a manipulative woman which is a red flag so big you'd need 50mph winds just to get it to fly.
     
  15. C.W.

    C.W. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Messages:
    7,145
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    The SO doesnt hold it from me as a tool but I dont even try to bang her if I know shes mad.
     
  16. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    :roflw: that's my SO

    I've never been huge into "makeup sex," because when I'm mad sex is not how I want to resolve my anger. We're talkers :dunno: Usually a night of sleep does the trick.
     
  17. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    7,173
    Likes Received:
    0
    I just flat out told the girl I am seeing that if we go without sex for 14 days, that I am allowed to bang another girl no questions asked (unless medical issues or traveling gets in the way). To which she responded if we went 3 days without sex she would rape me.
     
  18. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2005
    Messages:
    62,453
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Durty Durty ATL Niggah
    :werd:

    I told the gf if she ever withheld sex as a bargining chip I'm out the door.
     
  19. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    I'm a female and I do withhold sex on occasion, only because it's very effective. He wants sex allll the time and the only way to get his attention is to withhold it.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    In for responses

    :drama:
     
  21. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2005
    Messages:
    62,453
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Durty Durty ATL Niggah
    so your bf has no spine?
     
  22. ForevererZero89

    ForevererZero89 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2009
    Messages:
    316
    Likes Received:
    0
    diaf
     
  23. copperkali

    copperkali Mrs. Nicklk

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2001
    Messages:
    15,548
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Denver
    .

    I've never withheld sex
     
  24. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    How about if we flip the coin and look at the other side. How many of you ladies have rewarded your bf with something sexual for something particularly nice or romantic he did?
     
  25. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    I don't understand your comment. Are you saying he's weak because my withholding sex is effective on him?
     

Share This Page