SRS The ultimate frustration: Loneliness

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tubachris85x, Jul 2, 2008.

  1. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Theres no real way to escape it. Its just too depressing for me to be this way. How long does one have to suffer this before he is relieved of this?

    No one to turn to when I need to let out whatever emotions that I want to let out, but cant. No one I know who cares or even can help. Yearning to end this all, and to find love again, strong, emotional love, not physical.

    I want to be able to open up to someone again, someone who can listen and I can share happiness with.

    I tasted love and I want it again, more then anything I can comprehend. I dont want this feeling of being alone anymore, I never wanted this. Why does love have to be a double-edged sword, protecting you from pain, but at the same time, can flip right around and cut your heart to pieces? I will never understand why these things happen, all I know is that its painful, more then I can understand.

    All I want is to be in love and have love back with me, to feel comfort. Is that honestly too much to ask of my life? Or is this going to be an un-ending mental struggle until I die?


    what the fuck is wrong with me?:wtc:
     
  2. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    You have to learn to love yourself before someone else will love you.

    Once you love yourself it wont matter to you who loves you.
     
  3. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I dont feel that is my issue..I really am happy with how I am, where Im at. Loving myself just dosnt do away with this feeling..and I feel I need to share my life with someone. I dont care who, just someone who can love me for who I am and I can do the same back to
     
  4. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Have you ever lost something and you were trying to find it. You tear through everything you own trying to find it and it is just missing. You swear you saw it a hundred times when you didn't need it but now that you need it you can't find it.

    And then several weeks later after you needed to find it and you got by without it, you find it in one of the most obvious places.

    That is what love is like. If you go looking for it, chances are you wont find it. But when you're not looking for it, it jumps out at you.
     
  5. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I understand that..Im really not trying to search for it. I told myself that I cant, but I feel trapped in something I cannot escape. I been in true love before, and I just want it back so bad. Just thinking of having to wait so long until it comes back to me, is just a horrible thought to bear
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I know you go to TCC, find out about their free school psychiatrists. It's what I did when I went to FSU. Helped me a lot.

    You can't give up when you haven't tried everything first.
     
  7. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Havent given up. I never do. Just keep at it until its solved...I just needed to vent I guess..I thought about seeing one awhile back, but this is something that I have to go through on my own until fate grants me such a pleasure again in life





    "and that's all that love's about"
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :uh: Wrong thinking. You are obviously going through this alone right now and becoming frustrated. You say you have no one to talk and vent too...that's what a therapist is for, and when you are done venting they give you helpful and insightful ways to help fix your situation.

    You said your entire life you had had problem opening up. SEE A THERAPIST. They can help you since you've had years to work on this and haven't fixed it. And it's free through school, so you can't even muster any excuses about it being too much money or not knowing where to go.
     
  9. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    your right...

    Ill try to find one at FSU, I dont think TCC has anything.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Do it man. I mean, if anything you can at least say you tried it, you know.

    I went a few times at FSU and felt great just venting.
     
  11. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Thanks again Beer
     
  12. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Yea man. I thought I was doing pretty well for awhile, well then I had gone to downtown disney last saturday. I was meeting a friend and her roomate, and we just chilled out there all day. I soon realized that I was not over my ex as soon as I watched that movie "Wall-E." Yes, I know its just a movie, but it moved me to a point now, where I just cant get it out of my head. Even now, Im sitting here listening to the soundtrack from it.

    I guess thats the first film Ive seen that makes me wish I had what you see in the film. I cant explain it. To be honest, I was holding back from crying like a baby half the time in the theatre, just little things brought back memories...
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, stop doing that.

    That's the same as those people who are depressed and so they listen to all depressing love songs to "relate," but really all it's going to do is make you obsess and become upset.

    You have to flush away all things that link to negative thoughts. And yes, thinking about even the good times you possibly shared once right now won't help.
     
  14. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Its just good music, cant ignore it...plus, I just bought the thing.

    If I were able to just wish away all these feelings, then I would proudly have done so. I cant help such things as much as I would like to. I cant control constant nightmeres of my ex and the small little things that put her back in my mind. I went off to orlando to try and get away. It honestly made it much harder.

    As far as the movie's impact on me, its more about the actual feeling of love rather then just making me think of my ex. I have yet to even mention her to anyone in person since, and didnt want to even here. Its just an unfortunate reality that the only person I have ever been in love with threw me out like trash.

    Call me emo, but thats how I am. Certain films and stories just leave an impact on my life that others just cant understand fully. This one has made a severe impact on me.

    Like I said, its mainly about the feeling, then my past. How I once had it, and know how it really feels, and that I know I want to feel that again. I couldnt give two shits about my ex anymore. I just need someone. Thats all this is really about.
     
  15. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Call into FSU or find out via the internet about their therapists. You really need someone to talk to and I think it could really help someone such as yourself.
     
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    Try joining a club or two, doing something you enjoy. Make yourself attend every get together. Loneliness is by far and large caused by a lack of social contact, not a lack of a SO
     
  17. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I am. These past few weeks Ive been out of the house more then ever. Its just that in tally, theres not a whole lot to do without having to spend money on something.

    I have my prop building hobby too, but thats money as well! Im working on some props from Wall-E and now thinking about constructiing a 1:1 scale Wall-E robot thats functional as well...Keeping it busy I guess is all I can do.
     
  18. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Well, just to make my current situation even better, I just got fired because people in higher positions just like to fuck with us!

    This has to be the lowest point in my life, and I dont see anything getting any better anytime soon
     
  19. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Christ, 7 years? Now I feel horrible for even saying anything. All I can say is that these have been the 2 hardest months of my life. More time for myself to build and keep my mind busy..
     
  20. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I feel almost exactly the same way. As far as my situation, I can say what happened to me was something I dont feel I deserved in the least.

    I feel that even IF I do find someone, I cant see myself being able to go through with a relationship. I dunno, I cant explain it. I just feel as if it will be hard to share the same type of feelings with someone new.

    I said it before, but I get everything I say mixed up, but I honestly feel that If I am ever meant to be in love and be loved again, then it will eventually happen. Even the same for you, and everyone in our positions. Its just not knowing when and if it will happen thats really frustrating and honestly, scary to me
     
  21. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Exactly the same here. I go to all these college parties and whatever clubs I do go to, and I just dont even want to stay because it feels pointless knowing that even IF I had a chance to hook up with these types of girls, I just couldnt, because 95% are already piss drunk and they just arent my type.
     
  22. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    True I guess. Tally right now is just dead, not many things to do without having to spend money on something. Thats the only thing thats frustrating me about it. Thats the only way Im ever going to get out more
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Go out tomorrow or Monday to try and find a job. There are plenty in that town. They may not be something you love or want, but you need a job.
     
  24. tenxia

    tenxia OT Supporter

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    I had a friend in my home country get all depressed because of a girl... he also lost his job because his depression caused him to underperform badly... and a couple of things in his life went wrong from domino effect.

    But he didn't seem to want to help himself. He wouldn't pick up the phone, wouldn't answer txts, wouldn't do anything besides stay home and play comp games all day, dwelling on his problems.

    I think a person just has to WANT to help himself before any change can happen.
     
  25. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

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    Yes, this is called depression and it's part of the behaviors which make it go on and on.
     

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