The Truth. Are there ?'s that u won't ask?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by WalkingTurtle, Feb 21, 2005.

  1. Is there such a thing as to much honesty in a relationship? Do S/O's with hold questions for fear of the truthful answer?

    I'm recently divorced and could not trust what my ex said. Now I have gone to the other extreme and burned a couple of relationship with to much honesty. Is there a happy medium when starting a relationship?
     
  2. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    getting to know one another takes time. i would gradually ease into delving into certain aspects. sometimes people come on too strong, and their baggage is too much to handle.

    good luck :)
     
  3. kristin

    kristin my dog > *

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    I believe, along with many other people, that honesty is really the best policy. However, I am like you.. Sometimes I come off as wanting TOO much honesty. Sometimes when I ask for questions, just for the hell of it, I get mistaken for interrogating, which I'm really not doing. I'm not asking questions because I'm worried or whatever, I'm asking questions for the sake of asking questions and knowing what's going on. I don't like anything to be hidden.. And sometimes that seems to be annoying to some people. :dunno:
     
  4. dodgerdog

    dodgerdog If you're a racist, I'll attack with the North.

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    less is more
     
  5. Just because you're honest with the other person doesn't mean you have to tell them everything, or need to know everything.
     
  6. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I think it's a mistake to be too honest. It's also a mistake to require too much honesty. You shouldn't be afraid of truthful answers but you shouldn't have a need to know everything.
     
  7. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I usually speak what is on my ,mind, unless I am just not feeling up to the conversation. 99% of the time I tell him exactly what I am thinking, good or bad. The other 1% he knows, I say nothing, and he gives me that look.

    He has told me he loves my honesty so it works for us. But not all couples are like us, you have to test the water and find what works for you
     
  8. MiseryIndex

    MiseryIndex i never know why. i only know who. Moderator

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    i don't ask things in fear of answers, yes.
     
  9. Isolt78

    Isolt78 Guest

    For me, it's been really hard to talk about the past to my husband (like the couple of years before I met him); it's kind of painful even to remember them, nevermind to talk about them (bad abuse from my previous boyfriend and some of my own emotional issues). It took a long time to tell him about that.
     
  10. There's certain things that i don't find particularly necessary to know. I have found that asking about people's pasts can bring up some very heated arguements.
     
  11. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    I think honesty is great but at an early stage most people dont want that. To have one of those realtionships where you can tell your SO anything and not have them flipp out and not talk to you or break up with you takes forever.
     
  12. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    I don't ask about a persons sexual past, and I don't speak about mine.
     
  13. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    .
     
  14. Never ever talk about past women or past sex / shit like that.

    other than that 100% honesty.

    done.
     
  15. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I wanted to know everything about my partners sexual past even though it broke my heart (it wasn't sordid or plentiful, I am just weak). He wasn't interested in mine at all
     
  16. dumb_end_user

    dumb_end_user Sad Gus

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    If you don't want the answer to a question. Don't ask it.
     
  17. Snowballer

    Snowballer - Blissfully Insane -

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    That's how I kind of see it, who cares about the past. It's the past you can't change it if you don't like it so why hear about it in fear its something you don't like.
     
  18. extreeeme pwnage

    extreeeme pwnage New Member

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    Great advice-- I should have known coming from Confucious. Truth is-- despite that old saying about sticks and stones-- words fucking hurt-- and they stay with people forever. Somethings are better left unsaid.

    Especially hating on past relationships, how many people you have really slept with and who you had the best sex ever with. I think those three are the BIGGIES
     
  19. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    There is such a thing as being too blunt in a relationship, and not thinking of the other persons feelings/reactions/biases before blurting something out.... Sometimes its better to keep your mouth shut unless you are going to say something with the intent of being constructive.
     

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