The social phenomenon I hinted at in my "when you hate ur gf's friends" thread

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Ok remember I said I wanted to mention two other things but I was falling asleep so I didn't?

    Here is one of them:

    There is something I have noticed here and there that one of my GFs was a part of for a while. That is, I will occasionally meet a very attractive woman who is smart, ambitious, successful (or, if you're still in college, one of those "driven" people who you know is eventually going to be successful), and every other good trait you can imagine, but who is friends with some super ghetto people.

    I don't understand. I mean, I know people like diversity, but I just don't get this.

    My gf was hot, smart, all those things I mentioned above, graduated with above a 3.5 GPA in MIS, almost immediately after graduation got a job with a great company where she still works today, I think (and this was in 2003 when the MIS market sucked fucking ass and there were mass interviews with 400+ people for 1 opening), etc., but her "best friend" was so ghetto I couldn't stand to talk to her for more than 30 seconds. Like "mmmhmm, you go girl" ghetto.

    Her other friends were uh... not the greatest people, either. Like the kind of people you wouldn't trust with your stuff.

    I was polite to them, but I was always like :ugh2:

    After graduation they pretty much stopped talking and she went on to get cooler friends that weren't ghetto, so that was awesome :bigthumb:

    Can someone explain this to me?

    Throughout the last 7-8 years I will occasionally meet women like this, who are classy, smart, well-spoken, attractive, like overall high quality women, but their friends are so fucking ghetto, dumb, uneducated, actually talk like "errrbody up in hurrr," in trouble with the law, bankrupt, possibly on probation, etc. I don't get it. I try to avoid those kinds of people, not be best friends with them.

    Explain? Cuz I'm fucking lost.
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yeah, never experienced this :dunno:
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    And a linguistic phenomenon, why does everyone begin sentences with "yeah"? And I don't mean like the boss on Office Space; he did the same thing but the context was slightly different.

    That shit fucking confuses me. Like when someone wants to say "no," they will say "yeah... no." It makes them sound like an indecisive retard that likes to think out loud :ugh2:

    :rofl:

    Just kidding, let's stay on topic here.
     
  4. c-f0o

    c-f0o New Member

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    it probably stems from a younger age (ie. middle school, high school).
    One day you grow up and just know this lifestyle isnt for yourself and you mature but you still want to talk to your friends since theyve been next to your side for so long.
    my 2 cents
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I wonder if the people in question (classy people with ghetto friends) are:

    a) phenomenally non-judgmental, I mean like to an extent that makes someone who is as open-minded as JJJ look like Hitler

    b) insecure and feel the need to surround themselves with people they are better than (no "everyone is equal" BS here, you guys all know what I mean in this context)

    c) jealous that the ghetto people are "cool" and that by being smart, attractive, and well-spoken, they are somehow not as "cool" :ugh2:

    d) looking for acceptance and the ghetto people are the only ones who will take them??? The human drive for acceptance is strong, but this makes no sense, either, because why would someone awesome not be accepted? I mean, maybe the "normal" people are jealous and therefore don't accept them, and maybe the ghetto people are so far at the opposite end of the spectrum that the walls fall down and they do accept them

    I really don't have any idea, though.
     
  6. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    ^^ I agree.

    I feel like a lot of these ghetto fab friends might be long time friends from younger years. When you're 12, you don't know that your bestie is gonna grow up to be trailer trash while you go to law school.. :hs:

    And, in those scenarios, it's hard to cut ties with someone you were so close with for so long in life. Granted, you may not be as close and you once were, but the friendship is still there.

    Now, as for girls with ghetto fab friends that have only been friends short term, I have no idea. Personally, I have no desire to be friends with people who choose to carry themselves that way, and I consider myself to be pretty successful/on the path to success.
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You know, that makes a lot of sense.

    You're friends during childhood when everyone is equal and there are no classes or cliques.

    Eventually, classes and cliques form. Perhaps these people maintain their friendship bond from the young age even though now they don't have much in common.

    ...but I think the ex about whom I'm referring only just met these girls in college. Oh well, maybe they weren't ghetto freshman year or something and then became ghetto by senior year, which was when I met her :dunno:

    That actually makes a lot of sense, thanks c-f0o!
     
  8. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I don't think this is a big issue in our age group. Sure, when you're younger, you may view these people as cool, but as a 20some year old professional, I cannot feasibly wrap my mind around why anyone would think being ghetto fab is much cooler than being classy, well-spoken, and put together.. :dunno:
     
  9. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I think it's either that they were friends before one of them started to change for the better/worse or they had a limited social pool so they just made do with what they had :dunno:. My high school was realllly small, like 130 girls in the entire school small, so I didn't have much obviously in common with most of my friends. It was good though because it forced me to talk to people I may not have had contact with otherwise
     
  10. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    There was a total of 125 people in my graduating class. You wanna talk about everyone knowing everyone's business... :rofl:

    And, the funny thing is, I probably only keep in touch regularly with 5 or 6 people I went to HS with.
     
  11. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    Maybe some people don't care about how "educated" or "cultured" their friends are. Maybe they just enjoy being with someone whom they know will have their back.

    Besides, having a few dumb friends is fun when you're young. Who else are you going to rely on to know where all the awesome parties are? And who else is gonna convince you that doing a bump and heading down to the gay parade is a totally awesome idea? That's right -- the dumb friend.
     
  12. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    My graduating class had like 30- something girls (it was an all girl school) but I only keep in touch with one person now.
     
  13. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

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    Never found this either. Sure, I've met girls with friends that are at a much lower social and financial status as they are but they are still equally intelligent (Never said educated) and cool as my GF.
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It's been less than 10 girls I've met that were like this.
     
  15. radfad88

    radfad88 The Batman-O-Lantern

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    i've seen something similar to this but not so much with "ghetto" friends... more just general loser types. I have a few pretty affluent, successful friends who hang out with straight delinquents. High-school drop outs who are always getting into trouble with the law and losing their minimum wage jobs.

    My sister is one of the sweetest, church-going, study-hard girls I know. She dresses modestly and doesn't drink/smoke/curse... yet her boyfriend is a 23 year old aspiring tattoo artist (yeah right...), who lives with his parents and has no job, car, or license. I don't get it!
     
  16. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    i am going with

    do said people choose to succeed? Or choose not to succeed? probably neither. just like they don't choose not to be friends with someone ghetto.


    i mean, some people are very successful and are always certain to remind everyone how hard they worked to get that success(not the people we are talking about in this thread). other people (the people we talk about in this thread) just go with what they got man. and sometimes what they have is enough to be very successful.

    the same with developing relationships with people. the ghetto people may have come along at some point in their life and they just went along and made friends.
     
  17. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Did she grow up with them ? that's usually how this happens. Or they happen to work together and hit it off great there, but the outside life is :ugh:
     
  18. macbook bro

    macbook bro Guest

    you know why he hangs out with those "gorillas"? because any one of them would take a bat to your head if he asked.

    :bowdown:
     
  19. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Is she really ghetto, or does she act that way to keep her persona or w/e.

    I know people who do that. e.g. I know a kid who constantly acts like a self centered douche but once you get to know him you figure out its all a big joke/sham. Perhaps its some underlying social issue or perhaps its just their choice so who really cares?

    :dunno:
     
  20. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Never had this happen.
     
  21. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    The girl im seeing now said this about me over the weekend :o

    She said its hard to believe that im the way I am, between intelligence and demeanor compared to where im from and the friends I have. My roommate and some of my friends are straight 'hood', from the ghetto, where we are from and take it 'as a way of life'. Its pretty :ugh: but to each their own, not my life.
     
  22. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    lol I'm a pretty decent person but I had some ghetto ass friends. They were fun people to be around in high school/college, but then I grew out of them because going to bars and always getting kicked out became old.

    ibfalccallsmeabarslut
     
  23. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    and I'm really, really non-judgemental and can be friends with anyone...but when people start just being a drag and I don't have fun with them then I'm not friends with them anymore.
     
  24. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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  25. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    At least we know you're not judgmental at all Falconer
     

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