The origin of (my) one-itis

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Falconer, Jan 22, 2007.

  1. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I'm the first person to admit, I get one-itis pretty badly. Very badly. I have been an absolute wreck because of girls before. I think a huge part of the reason, if not the entire reason, is because I have a huge list of criteria a girl must meet. The more I date, the more that list grows.

    Therefore, when I actually find someone who passes most of my criteria, I develop one-itis because I realize how rare that is.

    If I didn't give a shit about the girls I dated, then I would have more lax standards, there would be a bigger pool of availability, and it would be different. It's like PocoDiablo said, "everything changes when you have options." Well, the pickier you are, the fewer options you have, the worse you get one-itis.

    But I can't make myself less picky. I've tried, and I can't. My criteria that a woman must meet is probably rediculous and unreasonable, but I can't help it. I've dated women who don't "measure up" before and I wasn't happy.

    I'm not even kidding. I would estimate that, on my criteria alone, less than 1% of the female population is dateable (might be spelled wrong, but "datable" didn't look right). Those odds suck. That means less than 1 out of every 100 women I meet might pass, and chances are the women that do pass already have SOs.

    Anyway, that's my theory. I should post my criteria up here so people can tell me how unreasonable I am.
     
  2. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I would tell you to relax your standards, but then again I would also tell you to keep your standards because they're the only thing that are going to make you happy.

    So, I defer.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It's in my head. Let me write a few of them down as they come to me. Stay tuned...
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Ok, here's a basic list off the top of my head. I'm sure I'll think of 1000 more if I try :)

    Note: items that start with two dashes (--) are subsets of the item above them. Other items preceded with one dash (-) are their own items.

    Physical
    - Between 5'2" 5'6" (I'm only 5'9 or 5'10. A chick wearing heels cannot be taller than me)
    - Must be attractive (and this could be an entire list, so I'll only list a few, because what constitutes physical attractiveness varies so much between people)
    -- Must have nice teeth
    -- Breasts must be between a big A and a small C. No sagging or pancake tits.
    -- Must have hourglass figure
    -- Must have nice ass (no flat chair ass and no ghetto booty)
    -- Must have nice legs, which means nice, proportional, curvy legs. No 10-year-old-boy legs like Paris Hilton or supermodels. Calf muscle must be present and proportional to thighs. No Pringles-can calves
    - Must be at least somewhat concerned with her physical appearance
    - Must be an ectomorph or ecto-meso at most (aka. must have a relatively high metabolism and small joints. Yes, this is filtering on genetics. No, it's not fair. And yes, animals do it all the time)

    Sexual
    - Must enjoy sex
    - Must have a healthy sexual appetite (ie. compatible with mine, again, I realize this will vary based on person so compatibility is important)
    - Must love giving AND receiving oral sex
    - Must not have a whorish past
    - Must believe in chemical birth control
    - Cannot have any weird sexual hangups, like "oh, we have to shower first," or "only sluts wear lingerie"
    - Must have sensitive breasts (I thought all girls were like this until one girl I dated, the only one who had C cups, didn't really enjoy breast stimulation. Everyone else has. Maybe she was an outlier).
    - Must be able to orgasm through vaginal sex
    - Must be up for random sex, sleeping in on weekends and having sex all morning, etc.

    Mental/Emotional
    - Must be intelligent
    - Must have good grammar, spoken and written (no double negatives, no improper use of perfect past tense (ie. "I should have went to the store yesterday"), no saying "ain't") because it absolutely drives me nuts
    - Must come from a stable family (because I don't want to date another girl who has daddy issues)
    - Cannot have daddy issues
    - Must understand that she is dating me and not my money. If she has a job, I'm not paying for her when we go places. Everything will be split or billed seperately except for holidays, presents, special occasions, whatever, etc. She must understand this, agree, and hopefully have come to the same conclusion independently before meeting me.
    - Cannot have a quick temper
    - Must be somewhat logical (I realize this is a stretch for most women ;) )
    - Cannot be spiteful
    - Cannot be aggressive (ie. no road rage)
    - Must think BEFORE she acts (again, this is a stretch for most women... well, most guys, too.)
    - Must not be a screamer (I mean when she gets mad. In bed is ok, of course ;) )
    - Cannot by physically violent when she gets mad

    Lifestyle
    - Cannot be a sloppy drunk
    - Must be able to control her drinking
    - Must be good with money
    - Cannot have credit card debt (education debt is ok, but if she has debt because she cannot control her spending, that is unacceptable). Financial independence, a secure future, and early retirement are important to me and I will not be with a girl who cannot control her spending. She must live below her means, have retirement accounts, etc.
    - Cannot be overly religious
    - Cannot be racist
    - Cannot be an attention whore
    - Cannot be an actual whore
    - Cannot be flirty when she has a bf (come on, you guys know what I mean so no nitpicking on this point)
    - Cannot be a "party girl"
    - Must be monogamous
    - Must be (eventually) marriage-minded
    - Must not believe in hitting children
    - Does not want more than 1 or 2 kids
    - Likes animals (people who don't like animals are mean, anyway)
    - Must enjoy cooking
    - Must like to give and receive massages
    - Must not be a vegetarian
    - Must have at least a basic understanding of nutrition
    - Must not smoke
    - Must not use drugs


    Random
    - Cannot chew with her mouth open
    - Cannot chew gum. I cannot fucking stand that. I should put this at the top of the list, even before "physical." lol.
    - Cannot have tastes that are too dissimilar to mine. With this, I mean I'm probably not going to get along very well with someone who wants a country theme in our house. Or someone who is ghetto.
    -- Continuing on, the smallest things annoy me. I hate chicks who watch Lifetime or who like those shitty made-for-cable-TV movies about abused daughters that star Joanna Kerns as the mother. You know what I mean.
    -- She doesn't have to have the same taste in music as me (altho it helps when we're riding in the car together), but she must be able to defend her choice in music. For example, she can't say "I like R&B because MTV2 says it's cool." Chances are, if she's a big R&B fan, she and I won't click, anyway.
    - MUST have a similiar sense of humor to mine. We must find the same things funny. I've been in both extremes of this in relationships before, and because of that, I absolutely consider it a necessity.
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Is that bad?

    It's funny because the girls who meet that criteria typically have the same criteria for their bfs, so when I actually find one, we get along perfectly. I've had a 3.5 year and a 2.5+ year relationship with girls like that...

    I overanalyze everything, anyway. Maybe I've just spent too much time thinking about this. It's funny, too, cuz I'm like the most laid back person on Earth. Oh well.
     
  6. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    opps, im out. damn gum chewing. otherwise, i generally fit those. i might be a little too fat/tall though.


    too bad youre too uptight for my tastes. :mamoru:
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Like I said, I'm the most laid back person ever. That list makes me sound like a Nazi, tho. lol...
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    yeh, pretty much :rofl:
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That's why I didn't even want to make this thread :mamoru:

    But the first post in this thread is still true.
     
  10. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    most of those things arent unreasonable.... but by getting so specific, you overlook things...

    ei, must want no more than 1-2 kids....so if she wants none, is that ok?
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Whoops. I'm making this list at work so I'm not thinking with 100% efficiency.

    On that note, I think I want kids. But I just turned 26 so I don't know. I know that I don't want kids for a long time, tho. My point is that I don't want to be with some chick who wants like 5 kids.
     
  12. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    so what? why does it matter? You have clearly stated your priorities, which i interpret as maintaining a superficial air of superiority rather than getting laid or having a relationship with the opposite sex. If that's your priority, personally i couldnt deal with it but who am i to judge. You remind me of dwight from The Office.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    you're worse than a girl
     
  14. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Better than not knowing what I want (like a girl) and going from girl to girl trying to figure it out.
     
  15. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    lol+
     
  16. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Hm. That list pretty much looks like mine.

    I think there's nothing wrong with you, personally. High standards mean high results, in my experience....
     
  17. cd7

    cd7 how troublesome

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    first off, pics of you?

    and dude, if you are not a 10 yourself, know that beggers cant be choosers
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :rofl: i cant even write a response to that.

    you would next a girl for chewing gum? how about just telling her you would rather she not chew it around you?
     
  19. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    i just think its a lot more pratical to look for qualities you want, and less qualities you dont.
     
  20. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    :rofl: If only it was acceptable to copy and paste from this forum... that would be one hilarious thread!
     
  21. FloppyCock

    FloppyCock New Member

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    This is my first post in this forum, so I hope the tone doesn't offend the original poster.

    You have one-itis because you latch onto a girl, maybe you're even clingy, not because you're picky. Keep in mind, I don't know you, nor do I pretend to, but one-itis is not a symptom of being selective.
     
  22. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    am i the first to say that doesn't sound THAT horrible? i bet that subconsciously, everybody (who isn't desperate) has requirements like that for their SO, it just looks really crazy seeing them all written out like that :mamoru:

    and (hopefully) it's not like they're completely FIRM RULES, ie if you meet a girl who fits all the requirements but her calves are slightly misshapen i bet you'd compromise...

    i know that people who meet requirements like that are hard to find, and if i knew where to look or where they all like to hang out i'd tell you, but usually they're just mixed in with the regular crowd. don't feel bad though, knowing what you want is a plus, it means you don't waste any time. so my advice to you would be to take things as they come, keep an eye out for good people, and keep doing what you're doing. if that doesn't work (5 years later and you're still here) i might suggest posting an ad on a dating site :dunno: couldn't hurt, and it'd be pretty easy with that list for women to tell if they fit your criteria or not :mamoru:
     
  23. BadRotation

    BadRotation New Member

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    Holy shit, I thought I was bad..... I have the same exact problem though not nearly as bad. I just simply cannot ignore the following issues:

    1. No drinking (except maybe on a very rare occasion, nice dinner, etc. No getting drunk)
    2. No smoking
    3. No whorish past (I prefer those who have been with less than two or three people)
    4. Must enjoy sex, and be into experimenting with new things (this is a major hangup, I easily find girls who fit the above three criteria, but then they dont like sex)
    5. Honest/loyal If they have cheated in the past, they are out.
    6. Do not party or 'club'/go to bars.
    7. If you are in a sorority, you are out.
    8. Must treat family/strangers with respect, and not swear constantly.
    9. No one night stands.

    Thats the basics. No matter how much I try to ignore certain criteria, I cant, and it bugs the hell out of me. I have gotten all those from my past dating experience, each time refining the list even more.
     
  24. LBFilmGuy

    LBFilmGuy LOL why u mad tho?

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    pics of you?

    most of the stuff in your lists I agree with...but a lot of it is just fucking ridiculous
     
  25. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I honestly don't think that was horrible. Everyone has an equally extensive list-they just don't actually list it. You seem to essentially want a mature, independant, intelligent and forward thinking woman. As long as you are of the same caliber as the woman your looking for, you should be groovy.
    My list would probably be twice that if I was honest about it. :wtc:
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2007

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