SRS The "my relationship is basically over" rant

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ForgottenSpiral, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    So I'm insecure, blah blah. I admit it. I have issues. No one is perfect, but I try damn hard to be the best man I can be. My girlfriend of almost a year and I seem to be fighting a losing battle to save our relationship. So the fact that she's about to leave me causes me to read her e-mails. I know, I'm an asshole.

    Well she's meeting up with an ex of hers without telling me (and this is not for the first time). He's all in love with her and she is clearly flirting with him. Now I find myself in this ridiculous position of two wrongs clearly not making a right. I can't confront her. I can't let it go. I guess it's just time to break up because I can't trust her and she obviously isn't trustworthy in the first place.

    :wtc:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If you confront her she's not only going to leave you, but laugh at your expense and make fun of your insecurity. When a girl is over a guy, she is OVER him. The fact that she's going to see her ex is obviously not good. I hate to say it man, but your relationship is over and you should just break up with her to save yourself some dignity.

    You don't deserve to be in a bad relationship where the girl seeks out another guys attention while you are still technically together. Don't put up with it and end it now. You will be glad you did.
     
  3. seejay

    seejay New Member

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    Better to find out now than 5 years, or as in my case, 24 years from now. Although there is no other person involved, the end result is the same. End of a relationship that spawned three kids. He just decided that he wanted a different type of life that didn't involve providing for the family he created.

    I wish you the best. Let it go. In my opinion, I'm better alone than building my castle on a sand foundation. I won't pursue another relationship.
     
  4. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    I suggest you don't even attempt to salvage it. If she does come clean, then maybe you guys do have chance though..
     
  5. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I feel like a loser posting this on off-topic, but here is an update for anyone who cares:

    Long story short, I told her I don't trust her anymore and I think we should break up. She asked that I give her a few more days so she could talk to her therapist. We both agreed that we don't want to be in the relationship the way it is now, but she wants to talk to someone about her commitment issues before we break up in case there is a chance we can salvage things. I told her I would give her more time, but that it wouldn't matter in the long run unless we found a way to rebuild the trust in our relationship.

    At this point I'm thinking this is like giving cpr to someone that you're pretty sure is already dead. Anyway I have a feeling I'll be single soon enough and I'm not in a hurry to get there. Thanks for the support, folks.
     
  6. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    Don't rush it or force it. Live your life and see how it goes from here man.. maybe you will be able to bring it back from the dead afterall? who knows. Good luck.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    No man, do NOT give her the benefit of the doubt and wait around for her. You need to tell her it's over and that she needs to figure her shit out by herself. Then maybe you will take her back. If you put it this way she is sure to not only be shocked but immediately put you in a better light. I'm telling you man, do not sit around and wait for her to talk to her therapist, especially when she is admitting having commitment issues. Why waste your time with that?
     
  8. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Girls lose respect for guys that take their shit and tolerate their abuse. The more you try to be the appeaser the more she will lose respect and attraction.

    She's already committed some dealbreakers IMO when she goes and see's the ex (almost guaranteed they've banged each other since) or even gets flirtatious. You should be a man and end it rather than being a boy and putting up with it.
     
  9. MaiMai

    MaiMai New Member

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    :hug: sorry.. iwishyouwerebeer is right.. no point waiting around for your girl to make up her mind.. just move on.. you can't fix a trust issue it's always going to be in the back of your mind if you decide to stay together.. just let it go..
     
  10. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    SACK THE FUCK UP JUNIOR! STOP TALKING TO HER. You did a good, strong job and told her you don't trust her. There is nothing left. I just ended one the other day and even though I'm a warrior there is no reason you can't be either. Have faith in yourself and your decisions on your journey through life. If it is wrong it is wrong. If it is right it is right. In the end it doesn't really matter so stick with your gut and follow through. Stand strong and end it.
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Its funny in a sad way because from an objective perspective, I know this is all wrong. So wrong, in fact, that I'm not even sure how I got this far into it. It feels like I got lost somewhere along the way.

    I think I believe I deserve it on some level. Pathetic, I know. I guess I've been living as my own karmic judge, dishing out cruel and unusual justice on myself. Maybe its time I forgive myself and stand of for what is right for a change.

    Sadly, I don't know if that is something I am ready for...
     
  12. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    I went through this stage too. I recommend you stick to the objective perspective because you can turn anything into something irrational and "logical" if you don't leave it objectively.

    And don't be down on yourself. You took a chance, your going to learn and have learned. Life is about the experiences. Heres one you learned from and now your ready to move on to the next. But you can move on if you don't let go, which is what your scared of. The unknown.

    You are the only one that can let go.
     
  13. Chip Chipperson

    Chip Chipperson New Member

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    grow a fucking pair of balls. If you can't talk to your father or your male role models or the future confident best version of yourself, about this, you know what to do
     
  14. seejay

    seejay New Member

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    This is probably some of the best advice I've seen in this entire discussion forum. Well put, and entirely true. Although I did drop the "SACK THE FUCK UP JUNIOR!" It just seemed a little mean. (grin)
     

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