FRK The most erotic IRC session I've seen

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by cz3ch, Jun 17, 2005.

  1. cz3ch

    cz3ch New Member

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    No, I have no idea who this guys is...

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    -------------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

    --------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh shit
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh shit
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something



    Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a bitch anyway.
    Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

    ---------------

    Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate:Who are you?
    Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
    Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
    Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
    **pause**
    DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
    Bloodninja:How did you know?
    Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate:What the fuck?
    DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shit
    DirtyKate:Fuck

    ------------------

    Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
    Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
    MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
    Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
    Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    (pause)
    MommyMelissa: is that it?
    Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    (pause)
    Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
    Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
    MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shitt is HOT.
    MommyMelissa: ...
    Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
    MommyMelissa: whatever.
     
  2. Dogz

    Dogz interior crocodile moderator

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    ive read these before....classic stuff haha :big grin:
     
  3. cz3ch

    cz3ch New Member

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    Yeah I had this in my archive and I was on the Ninja topic... with this one:
     
  4. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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  5. guerojo

    guerojo The Crusher-Thats right. OT Supporter

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    reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee your ok. Still new enough to not know about he fact that everything on OT has been viewed before. Funny stuff regardless.
     
  6. cz3ch

    cz3ch New Member

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  7. Smoked

    Smoked $5.50? Man fuck the avatar...how about you just sh

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    Haaarrrrrrrr
     
  8. cz3ch

    cz3ch New Member

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    Actually I realized you guys have seen it all :)

    But still thought it was a good repost :)
     
  9. guerojo

    guerojo The Crusher-Thats right. OT Supporter

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  10. Fire Sauce

    Fire Sauce New Member

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    Eli Whitney invents Cotton Gin.
     
  11. cz3ch

    cz3ch New Member

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    Jesus christ.... i actually sat down and read the whole thing..

    HAARRRRRRRRGH!!
     
  12. darkrick

    darkrick New Member

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    bash.org owns :rofl:
     
  13. FifthGear

    FifthGear -

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    :noes: :run:
     
  14. Diedemus

    Diedemus Google is my HMO

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    captain-obvious.com
     
  15. Fire Sauce

    Fire Sauce New Member

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    Julius Caesar crosses Rubicon.
     
  16. MonkMonk

    MonkMonk New Member

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    yea, old, but nice
     
  17. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    Actually, I have never seen it, and it was friekin hilarious! Thanks!


    Haha! Aphoric laughed his head off when he read them. And he usually doesn't laugh at all cuz he has no sense of humor.


    :mamoru: just kidding!
     
  18. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    seen it before, but they're so classic I read them again :rofl:
     
  19. BiteMe

    BiteMe New Member

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    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
     
  20. ViperKiller

    ViperKiller AD USAF

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    That shit is funny!! hahaha
     
  21. mandy9964

    mandy9964 New Member

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    lmfao wtf..
     
  22. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    "i put on my robe and wizard hat" that was my user text earlier this year. welcome to the dawn of teh intraweb, btw ;) (still, this shit is somehow ALWAYS funny. :dunno: )
     
  23. naughtie

    naughtie New Member

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  24. '99 Maxima

    '99 Maxima New Member

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    funniest shit ever i cried
     
  25. DuFresne

    DuFresne Guest

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