SRS The Importance of "I"

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Don Ganja, Dec 27, 2006.

  1. Don Ganja

    Don Ganja Drunk Driving > *

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2006
    Messages:
    4,333
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Life feeds on life
    For the majority of my life, I have often adressed myself as "you" when thinking about myself and things Ive done. This would become most pronounced when I did something I did not like about myself. I would say myself, "Don Ganja, why didn't you talk to her? You need to be more confident in yourself. You always do this." or "Come on Don Ganja, did you really need to skip math class to mastrabate? What a lot of good that did you."

    When I spoke to myself like I was another person, it always came out accusing and judgemental and completely negative. I was a scolding nag to myself, and it never solved any of my problems. I still wouldn't strike up small talk with the next girl I saw, or change any of my bad habits that I pointed a finger at.

    After a particularly high anxiety mushroom trip, I realized how much I actually did this and began to understand how completely unhelpful it was to speak to myself this way. I sought out to conciously change this, and I started to adress myself as "I". It was tricky at first and I constantly caught myself using "you", but each time I did I noticed it and corrected myself.

    Ever since I changed this seemingly small habit, I have felt 200% better. Now when I think to myself I say, "I should go talk to her", or "I have a lot of things to get done today, I shouldn't smoke a bowl right now." "I" puts responsibilty directly in your controll, while "you" just pushes around the blame. "I" allows you to form solutions to your problems instead of dwelling on them.

    I hope this helps out a few people. Its not a cure for serious depression, but it may be an awakening for some, and I just wanted to share it. :)


    Cliffs: When thinking to yourself about yourself, use "I" instead of "You".
     
  2. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    I get annoyed when someone asks someone else a question and they answer with "you."

    For example, on the news an interviewer asked a cop about going into a building searching for a suspect. His answer was "Well, when you go into a building you always have to be careful to ............ blah blah." NO! The answer should have been "When I went into the building I was careful to ..... blah blah."

    Another example, Delilah on the radio is sort of a pseudo-love help kind of DJ. She takes requests and talks to people. The other night she asked a woman about getting married right before he soldier/fiancee shipped to iraq. Her answer was "When you marry a soldier you always have to worry about.......blah blah." FUCKIN' NO!!!! She asked YOU the question about YOU getting married right before YOUR fiancee shipped out. YOU YOU YOU...... the answer should have been "I married a soldier so I'm worried about........."


    cliffs: I think we agree :hsd:
     
  3. Don Ganja

    Don Ganja Drunk Driving > *

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2006
    Messages:
    4,333
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Life feeds on life
    That sounds more like a pet peeve. I am refering to personal thoughts as opposed to actual conversation, though I do agree with you somewhat.
     
  4. epihany

    epihany meh

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2006
    Messages:
    211
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    O-H...I-O
    Hmmm.... I have never done that. I just sat here and tried to imagine an inner dialogue with myself and I always think in terms of *I.*

    I do think it sounds like by thinking of yourself as "you" in the situations you described, maybe you are removing yourself from them somewhat and "not taking the blame" as you said.

    And I had never thought about the pet peeve 7960 described but now I am sure I'm gonna notice whenever someone does that. lol
     
  5. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2005
    Messages:
    4,692
    Likes Received:
    0
    Never thought about this, but now that you mentino it it makes sense. I'll see if I can change this in myself even though I don't believe I do it often.
     
  6. familyguy101

    familyguy101 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2004
    Messages:
    734
    Likes Received:
    0
    sounds like a phase to me, although it might work for some people.
     
  7. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2005
    Messages:
    7,867
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NJ
    You are right to an extent.

    Saying "I" is good for your own reflective purposes, so what you are saying means more because it's you (or 'me' I suppose) talking about you ('me')

    But, do NOT fall into the trap of saying 'I' too much, you will look very egocentric.

    You have to remember, people LOVE talking about themselves. We love to be part of the topic because it gives us recognition. Nobody likes to listen to someone talk about himself.

    Example: I am speaking with a friend about what I did the previous night. She asks me, "hey where did you go out to eat?"

    I could go two ways here, and I'll let YOU decide which one is better for a conversation.

    Option 1: "I went to XXX restaurant. I thought the food was so amazing. I would go there again"
    Option 2: "I went to XXX restaurant. You would think the food is amazing. You really should try it out."

    When one talks to oneself, use 'I'. While talking to other people, try to GET THROUGH to the other person. Don't address yourself, but address the people.
     
  8. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2006
    Messages:
    65,506
    Likes Received:
    1
    English uses an impersonal "you" which is what 7960 was talking about. Some other languages use "one," as in like, "when one runs into a burning building." It's meant to describe protocol without being specific to a person, and it's correct.

    It's also different from referring to yourself as "you" in yor thoughts. I'm trying to remember how I refer to myself in my thoughts, and I can't. I think I do use "you," tho.

    Interesting thread.
     
  9. mare

    mare New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2006
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    0
    Good point!
     

Share This Page