The girlfriend.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by signal, Sep 18, 2009.

  1. signal

    signal New Member

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    She thinks she's fat and ugly and tells me all the time. I totally disagree with her every time! I am quite frankly shocked by her insecurity over it sometimes.

    She thinks I'm not attracted to her and that I should be with a 'blonde' or tells me that I WANT a blonde.

    She says she can't be in a relationship where there is no attraction. What am I doing wrong? I think she's beautiful, smart and sexy. I can't tell her enough. We've been together for over a year and a half and all this insecurity on her part is starting to put a wedge in our relationship and I hate it.

    She says that she feels this way the strongest around me and has to 'compete' with other girls. I tell her she is seeing things.

    What do I need to do to get us back on the happy track and her to quit acting this way.

    We used to be happy and content, what happened? What can I do?
     
  2. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    My girlfriend has the exact opposite problem. Equally as annoying.


    In your girl's case sounds like she's just begging for attention. All girls are insecure, especially around other girls. If she doesn't have a problem, she's just craving attention. If she does you need to help her change in a positive way.
     
  3. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    Insecurity sucks because it hurts both people. It's going to be hard to change how she feels. Maybe she is thinking you will get bored of the relationship and leave her. :dunno:

    maybe what you should do is pull back the constant praise. she's craving it and your giving it to her. do you two live together?
     
  4. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Dump the broad and tell her when she stops using other people to comfort herself and her feelings about her body that life will change.

    In the mean time, buy that bitch a gym membership and be like, "well, if you really feel that way, change it".
     
  5. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    How long have you two been together?

    I hate to be one to advocate a break up, but she sounds like she is not ready for a relationship. If she is this way all the time, its only going to drive you away. That insecurity is something she will have to work on. If you've told her you love her, you think shes beautiful, and she cant get over it at all, she has a problem. She needs to get to a point where she likes herself.

    Admittedly I've felt that way before, and every now and again. And even when my fiance tells me he thinks i'm gorgeous, I feel like hes just trying to make me feel better. But after a little while, I get over it, and realize how much he does love me and is with me for a reason.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Please tell me this isn't the same bitch who cheated on you
     
  7. Panoptimist

    Panoptimist Put a bangin' donk on it.

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    Goes to show how shallow and hollow some women really are.
     
  8. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    you sure she's not saying that as a way to end the relationship? or that she's saying it to comfort herself on why she cheats on you? this way when you bust her she can say "its your fault! you never found me attractive and gave me attention!".
     
  9. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This is going to sound rude, but I don't mean it in a rude way.... IS she fat and ugly by societal standards? I know you find her attractive and probably love her, I'm not trying to insult either of you... but is it possible that her insecurities stem from knowing other people (not you) would consider her fat and ugly?

    Because if she is... then it's going to be damn near impossible for you to change her mind on how she looks.
     
  10. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    You didn't dump that cheating whore? Dude.
     
  11. JBunni

    JBunni New Member

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    :eek3: I hope I can become so fluent in my posts someday. :wavey:
     
  12. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    Why don't you just be honest and tell her if she doesn't stop, you won't be able to continue in the relationship?
     
  13. Deborah

    Deborah Seeing is believing, but I don't want to know.

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    She thinks you are not attracted to her..What has changed in your relationship? Do you still have sex like you used to?
     
  14. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    she cheated on you and you are still with her / dealing with her shit?

    Im going to do you a favor and hang onto your man card for now.
     
  15. signal

    signal New Member

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    The sex is still amazing. She did cheat on me before I came home from Iraq... I figured it out though. She quit her job, cheated on me and started thinking she was ugly and fat all after she abruptly stopped taking stupid Lexapro antidepressants that she didn't even need to be on in the first place! I'm so fucking pissed about her ever going on pills. I'm pissed at her mom for recommending that she do! Even last night her mom said she should go back on them. My coworker said she went off Lexapro and had the same feelings my girlfriend is having... Said it took her a year to get over herself, said she even was cutting herself and shit. Fuck antidepressants.

    My girlfriend is starting to come around, but still has her bursts of insecurity. We live together in an apartment and are doing alright. She just got her job back so that's good. We'll see what happens, I'll update in another few weeks.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2009
  16. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    Have sex with some other girl, tell her it was amazing..move on.
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So many things wrong with this post.

    She cheated on you, and you are still with you.

    She is taking medical advice regarding antidepressants from her mother, not her doctor/therapist.

    She CLEARLY has some issues she needs to work on, you're unhappy in the relationship, yet you are still with her.

    Two things: No matter how much you try, you can't change her opinion of herself. Only she can do that. It really sounds like she is trying to push you out of the relationship.

    Second...sounds like you could do better. Find a woman who is loyal and secure with herself.
     
  18. Cobra Commander

    Cobra Commander OT Supporter

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    Coming back from the desert is hard man, your confidence is low and bitches seem hard to get. For fucks sake man, you really need to move on from this hipless bitch.
     
  19. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    .
     
  20. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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  21. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    This is hard to do, but honestly if it bothers you, this is for the best.

    My ex used to say things of the same nature every once in a while, it was straight up annoying, but I stuck with it. Even know when we do meet up once in a while, there is some kind of mention regarding it sometimes.

    Pisses me off. I bust my ass in the gym, I know what's it's like to be "insecure" and all that shit, thing is you have to do something about it.

    I don't care if you're insecure, you can be the most insecure person in the world, I just don't want to hear it.
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2009
  22. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    terrible example. the average dude has a gut and no muscle mass which isn't desierable either.



    Also, dress size is such a fucked up measurment. every store sizes their shit different and if a girl was actually blessed with a pelvis wide enough to give her hips she ends up having to wear a larger size even if she is in great shape.
     
  23. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    like me needing 35x30 jeans for a 32-33 waist.
     
  24. JoJoBee

    JoJoBee Hanging out with my chicks! OT Supporter

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    :ugh: this is a hard self esteem issue that she is going to have to work out for herself. Now, do you just tell her that she is beautiful or do you show her? There is a difference.

    Counseling does seem like it would be beneficial on her and your behalf... Especially hers.
     

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