SRS The GF found out I used to like my friend, now she hates me.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Slurms McKenzie, Feb 7, 2009.

  1. Slurms McKenzie

    Slurms McKenzie New Member

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    I'm not sure what to do, I have (had) a friend that put me in the "friend zone" years ago, we're still great friends though. It just never worked out. My girlfriend knows she leaves me comments and crap on Myspace, but never said anything until she asked me about her.

    "Oh that's just my friend, we tried to date years ago but she wasn't having it, we've just been friends since." "So you used to like her?" "...Yeah." "Have you ever done anything with her?" "We kissed some when we first met, thats about it." "Do you still like her?" "No, I have you :wiggle:"

    She hasn't talked to me much since. I told my friend about the situation and deleted her off my Myspace and even blocked her. I've been with my GF for eight months I don't want to mess it up. But she doesn't care, she still acts like she hates me.

    Is there anything I can do? If she leaves me, I'll be out of the two real friends I had. I'll be honest, I've always wished my friend would give me a chance, but now that I have my GF I stopped caring about her. I feel like she's going to dump me. Including me now, she has a list of reasons to leave this town and move. I'll be back here if I wake up alone in the next few weeks. :sad2:
     
  2. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    I would be :io:

    That is some immature childish shit unless your 15. Tell her to grow up.
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    werd. Defnitely a good reason to leave the gf. You should NEVER have to give up decent friends for an SO.

    My question is, why would you have told your gf anything other than "oh, she's an old friend of mine"?
     
  4. Slurms McKenzie

    Slurms McKenzie New Member

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    She asked, I was just being honest.
     
  5. SuckerPhree

    SuckerPhree New Member

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    I think it was good that you were honest.

    Try to work it out with your gf and just logically explain the situation.
    (Just don't accuse her of being wrong :) )

    Take some time.
    I'm sure it will work out in the end.
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    HUGE mistake.

    Because now in her head she's going to be thinking you'd leave her if your "friend" showed interest.

    You've got a lot of work to do fixing this one.
     
  7. Deadhead9150

    Deadhead9150 Banned

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    Hmm, see I didn't read it like that at all. Although I assume that's probably how she read it if she's pissed otherwise she'd be insane.
     
  8. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :werd:

    there are some things you do in order to keep your girl happy. This isn't one of them. If she can't handle the notion that you used to like girls (and still will), then she's not ready to be in a relationship
     
  9. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    it's not that he used to like girls. it's that he's still friends with a girl he wanted to be more than friends with, and he basically told his girlfriend "I'm with you because I can't be with her."

    he is so fucked.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :hsugh: I didn't read it that way, and he definitely didn't intend it that way. Don't put words in his mouth.

    What he said was that he used to be interested in her, now they're just friends, and that he feels no interest in her anymore because he has his girlfriend.
     
  11. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I'm not putting words in his mouth. Hold on


    You're thinking about this from YOUR perspective. Think about it from his G/F's perspective. He liked a girl, kissed her, tried to go out with her, she said no. Now he's friends with her and she's leaving him shit on myspace and his g/f asked if he liked her and his answer was "no, I have you." You're thinking about this like you're reading a thread about it. She got it first hand in words, misinterpretations and all.

    In this thread he openly said "I'll be honest, I've always wished my friend would give me a chance." You think at least a little bit of that isn't coming through to his current g/f? I 100% guarantee IN HER MIND she THINKS he said he's with her because the other friend shot him down......which goes in a straight line to "if she shows interest he's going to leave me."
     
  12. Slurms McKenzie

    Slurms McKenzie New Member

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    Pretty much the situation. I don't know if it's worth fixing though, I feel like she'll have this in her head forever. No matter what I try to do to change it I'll only cover up what I said.
     
  13. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    You boys have a lot to learn about teh womens.
     
  14. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :hsugh: how she interpreted it and what he said are two entirely different things.

    What he needs to do is try to explain to his girlfriend that he has no interest in his friend anymore, and that she doesn't need to feel threatened by her, as he would by far rather have her than his friend
     
  15. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    DING DING DING!

    Now you're getting it.


    He needs to, but no matter how many times he does she's still going to make him pay. That's the shitty conundrum about women <generalization ahead> they say they want honesty but when you give 100% honestly they hold it against you.
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    GF won't believe him. Hell, I'm not even sure I believe him saying he is over her.
     
  17. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    moot point, is it not?
     
  18. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    When she asked do you still like her should've just simply said a firm NO...but seriously is she 12 years old? if she gets pissed over dumb shit like that you don't want to be with an extremely jealous girl like that anyway its only going to get worse now everytime you look at a girl she'll think you want to fuck her
     
  19. Kim Possible

    Kim Possible New Member

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    Agree.

    I'm also getting the feeling that if the friend showed some interest in the OP (which may be happening already*), the girlfriend might be rapidly shown the door.

    *To get to this: I'm curious as to what exactly is being written on your MySpace from this friend that got your girlfriend worried in the first place.
    Can you give us examples?
    (And is this a case of your friend not wanting you when she could have you, then wanting you when she can't? Did she always write 'shit' on your MySpace BEFORE you were dating your GF or did it start when you started dating the GF (and possibly giving less attention to the friend?)?)

    While I don't think that people in relationships should abandon all opposite-sex friendships once they become a couple, I do think people need to realize that you can't necessarily do the same things you did as a single that you can attached.

    So, perhaps you need to think about why you want to keep around a girl you've always had feelings for while you are in a new relationship.
     
  20. jdm-cd5

    jdm-cd5 Guest

    shes not worth keeping if she would leave you for something stupid like this. she wont start stupid drama if she really likes you. she's prob lookin for a reason to dump your ass.
     
  21. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    That is some [​IMG].

    I would tell her "get over it or get lost," in those words.
     
  22. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    Everybody, man and woman, has a wish-list of people they would date if given the chance. What this guy is saying is the friend is on the wish-list, but that doesn't mean he's going to dump his girlfriend just because the other friend changes her mind. She can wait her turn.

    Granted, I have no idea if the TS is that honorable, but based on what he said, it sounds like he's following the standard policy of not trashing one relationship just to start another. That's a woman move right there.
     
  23. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    I agree. This sounds like your girlfriend took an offense to that response, but it's also very irrational she didn't verify with you if you still had feelings for the friend.

    All you should need to say is, "when I said 'no, I have you', what I really meant to say is, ever since we've been together, I only have feelings for you"

    If the girlfriend is still pissy after that, something else is up.
     
  24. Kim Possible

    Kim Possible New Member

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    Yup.

    Which is why I asked the OP why he still remains 'friends' with a chick he's always been interested in.

    It would be really nice if men and women could indeed be 'just friends', but in my experience, I've found it VERY difficult to do just that, ESPECIALLY when one has romantic feelings toward the other.
     
  25. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    I dont know, I found that kind of immature. My husband still talks to some of his exes as friends, and has since we started going out. I still talk to my ex too - we're way better as friends anyway. We had a very weird relationship, and discovered that being friends was the way to go (and HE was the reluctant one at first, had kind of friendzoned me for a bit in the beginning).

    You're with her, you've been with her 8 months, what is she so worried about? I didn't read what you said to her about "No I have you" as you would drop her if the other girl decided she DID want to be with you... but maybe you need to explain that to her.

    If she still has an issue with the situation even after you've explained what you meant, then maybe there's another underlying cause of her anger.
     

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