The 'general knowledge' about bros before hos...but from a girl's stance...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by vibit, Jan 21, 2005.

  1. vibit

    vibit New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    Okay, brace yourself for a long-ish and complicated story...

    Last month, my boyfriend of 7 (somewhat rocky) months officially broke up. He told me that he somewhat had a thing for my best friend. I was really hurt when he told me all this. [And he told me this BEFORE we broke up (one month before official).] Even though we were probably not meant to be anyway, because at about 3.5 months, we had broken up once and I did it that time. But we got back together because I succumbed to the wrong reasons I suppose? And the last month of our relationship was because I wanted to still be with him, but it was obvious he was just losing interest. I was in denial and cried a lot. Right before we broke up, he said that he WAS REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN HER. That's what he said. But then, i find out through my best friend it seems that he's been trying to make advances onto her. (he got her a xmas gift, calls and tries to hang out, and they did once...with another friend too but without me behind my back) A while ago, I probably would've killed myself if I found that out. But now, I just simply feel like shit. On top of that, I've always had low self-esteem and been a cutter. What the hell? There's a little more detail to this story.

    But my best friend Stef seems to like the attention he gives her because she kept talking to him on MSN after fully knowing that I was really sad about it. Oh yes she KNEW he liked her. OH yes she KNEW that I was crushed about it.

    But yeeah the present-business on christmas, and the wanting to hang out with him, seems really odd to me.

    OOOOH i can barely organize my thoughts on this....

    What's your take on this? Is it wrong?? Am i just worrying/spazzing/bleeding over something that i have absolute no control over and should just accept the fact that I've been dumped for my best friend??

    I forgot to add that Stef is a loyal friend and would not do something like that and go for him. (She has no interest in him whatsoever...and I take her word for it.) BUT, it bugs the hell out of me. What makes me mad...is really HIM actually. And a little part of me is mad that she partially admitted to somewhat leading him on. Although "leading him on" was not the term used, it was more like..."i didn't want to be mean...and hurt his feelings..."...and she likes the 'attention feed' i suppose. But why does he have to be him? There are tons of other guys she can get her ego boost from.
     
  2. vibit

    vibit New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2004
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    So what does this have to do with 'bros before hoes' or 'chicks before dicks'? Well, I want to know how TRUE of a friend she actually is if she's somewhat leading him on???
     
  3. Immaculate2k3

    Immaculate2k3 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2003
    Messages:
    668
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit
    ummm girls work on a different code then guys?????

    bros before hoes just means help ya guy out before you go all out for a girl.

    Its harder to lose a friend that's a guy then a girl who ur hooking up with..

    But i guess ur friend must really want him its a free country she can try if she wants to you just have to get over it..

    It hurts but if you move on you will be able to bear it

    And your friend u need to tell her straight up Do not talk to him if ur leading him on its not right (or word it ur own way) but just be careful she might really like him
     
  4. calilynne

    calilynne New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    She is absolutely crossing the line of friendship and comradery by spending ANY time with this guy. You said it right that there are tons of other guys she can chose from. She may be getting a bit of satisfaction knowing that she could have a guy that chose not to be with you. If she has no interest in this guy, she IS leading him on by allowing him to spend time with her. And how she sleeps on the nights that she sees him knowing how it breaks your heart is beyond me.

    My take on friends dating your ex - if you dumped the guy, he is fair game. It's the same as leaving your trash on the curb and someone else finding interest in it. It's your TRASH right? Why would you care. But when HE was the one who left, and you still loved/cared for him, he is off limits! to all your friends. Your friend needs to grow up and get over her need for attention. She is not acting like a friend. Either that or she needs to buck up and hurt his feelings. After all, he did hurt you and she is YOUR friend. She has no loyalties to him whatsoever, and you should come first.
     
  5. BTA

    BTA New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2004
    Messages:
    674
    Likes Received:
    0
    Women have no loyalty to other women. Therefore, she doesnt give a shit if it hurts you to talk to this guy.

    But then again the whole thing about "I would have killed myself" made me quit caring about your situation from that point on.

    So yeah, quit dating trash guys, get some better friends, and for fuck's sake dont start pulling "im gonna kill myself" drama bullshit.
     
  6. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2004
    Messages:
    1,381
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    the Home of Humidity, TX
    Come on now, your ex-boyfriend was scum, and your ex-friend is scum, why would you feel the least bit sad about it? Just live knowing that their relationship is doomed because neither of them is loyal and will cheat on eachother. You got off lucky, you didn't know he was a cheater and got cheated on, she KNOWS he's disloyal and is going out with him...making her a self loathing idiot. she will grow to hate herself for the things she's done.

    And I'll agree with another post...woman do not normally carry loyality to other women. The greater majority of women have that one friend they don't leave alone with their man. It could be their very best friend too. I've always said that women will never rule the world because women hate other women way too much. Don't get me wrong, I"m not ranting on women...I wish it was different, but ask any woman, at just about any age with a job in the retail industry about their work, and you will hear about another woman who's trying to ruin them, conspiracies...you name it.

    anyways, moral of the story, if you're in a bad relationship and get left for another women, consider it a SMALL MOTHERFUCKING PRICE TO PAY for getting out...don't be like the idiots on springer fighting with a trailor park queen screaming "THat's MY man, He's comming home with me!"
     
  7. elekt

    elekt New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2004
    Messages:
    1,719
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    get a life loser, hes done with you, don't be a jealous cock blocker. You're ugly. end of story.
     
  8. Spaulding Smails

    Spaulding Smails Real Estate Guru

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2003
    Messages:
    19,050
    Likes Received:
    0
    You get upset and cut yourself, forget BF's and shit....go see someone to get help.....get your life in order before you can share it with anyone else....
     

Share This Page