SRS The Demon

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Jadix, Feb 3, 2006.

  1. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Theres a demon that follows me. The first time I saw him I was tripping pretty hard on mushrooms, but his presence was felt before. After the drug use, his essence took form, and now he remains in my mind. He likes to convince me I'm going to fail. He likes to make me depressed. He tries to control my thoughts and emotions.

    I have faced him before, many times. When I do this he hides, and I am myself again. When I become vulnerable, he comes back.

    I know this is hard for you to understand, in fact you couldn't possibly understand unless you saw him, or felt him yourself. He is a dark hole in my personality. Sometimes I'll be in the best of moods, with all my friends, laughing about something...and all of a sudden the hair stands up on the back of my neck and I can feel the emptiness. Its like standing on the brink of a cliff and looking down. He has me by the ankle, and he weighs me down. I dont know why hes there, or where he came from. But he wants me to be worthless.

    I used to be this little smiling kid who didn't understand why people got depressed or furious. I used to not understand how someone wouldn't have self esteem or self confidence, I used to be flooding with self esteem. But this demon wont leave me alone. Hes pulling me down.
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Hmm.. Are you on any medications? Also seems like you could have a split personality (schizo?). Might want to speak to a psychologist.
     
  3. svetlanalemon

    svetlanalemon A little blood and vomit on the car seat...

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    see a shrink, this may be neurological
     
  4. Hemps

    Hemps New Member

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    sometimes hallcuniogens can bring out shizophrenic episodes. see a shrink
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well , the thing that you have to realise is that besides all the medical complications , the drugs also weaken the human aura. Meaning that you become susceptible for demonical influences if your soul has little inner possession then the presence of a demon is plausible, if you pass out due to the drug usage your aura will break up and a demon can 'ride your body' and use drugs along with you.

    The cold and empty feeling is caused because your and the demons soul are connecting to eachother. Demons are always cold,hungry and agressive, and constantly prey on human souls day and night. This is possible because 'your' mind and the demons mind are pretty much on the same frequency.

    You probably don't mind hurting other people and as said using drugs. There is a lot of hatred in you and this is driving you into the hands of evil entities, the consequenses is that it will ruin your life,because in order to get you on a even lower frequency your predator demon will try to make your life a mess and you into an even more hatefull person, then let you use drugs and pass out so the demon can abuse you for a thrill.

    The solution (if there really is a demonical entity) is to quit drugs. This will restore your aura, the demons will not be pleased with it and will try to make you fall again, in order to escape their clutches you must be on a 'higher' soul frequency than they are. A demons will fall off of you , if your 'too high'.

    You must become a loving and helping person first and foremost.
    You must Prevent 'agression' at all costs, do not participate in 'any' fight
    no matter what.

    You feel that there is something wrong and your right, in any case rehab and quitting drugs will do you a world of good. Along with preventing 'bad' company.
     
  6. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    Enter the Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
     
  7. 311-420

    311-420 New Member

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    first thing is first, you need to convince yourself that there is no such things as demons. they're made up, just like the boogey man. you can beat this, stay strong and good luck. see a doctor.
     
  8. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    There are demons. They're just not what most people describe them as.
     
  9. lotusnd

    lotusnd New Member

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    Reality can be personal... Not a societal demand.



    I agree that drug usage would make you more susceptible to your demons. Do you think that your unconscious could be manifesting demons in reaction from a person in your life or possibly your own guilt... self-hatred... etc??
     
  10. Boogieman117

    Boogieman117 PSN: Boogieman117

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    :wtc: I don't exist.

    Seriously, talk to a professional head doctor.
     
  11. HardTech

    HardTech hungry

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    it's just Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story
     
  12. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    See a shrink. Schedule the appointment this week to help yourself.



    It's very important that you see a pychiatrist to do neurological testing.
    And then a psychologist for the talks.

    If that scares you, don't let it. You've posted, because you obviously want to fix this. If you're worried about costs, there are some free or cheaper clinics for at least counseling. They can tell you more about your options for testing.
     
  13. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    I dont think I'm schizo or anything. Maybe I am, I dunno. It just feels like I have to fight this thing all the time or it makes me weak. I call it a demon, because I dont know how else to describe it. No its not a little red horned dude chasing me around...its much harder to describe. Its like a heavy stone is tied to my mind. Its like arms, hundreds of arms, reaching up from the depths of the black, clutching and grasping at me. Not in the visual sense...but the emotional. It criticizes everything I do, and everything I say. Most of the time I just tell myself its "just a demon" and it goes away.

    Do any of you ever get the feeling that crying will make you feel better? Like you have to feel really bad for awhile before you can feel good again? Sometimes I know that letting my mind think of certain things will only bring back pain, but I do it anyway, just to get it out of my system. Sometimes I like to cry. I like to realize the pain in my life. I like to believe that my pain is worse than it actually is. I dont know why. That kinda makes me feel like a shitty person because of all the people out there that have problems they cant deal with, and pray to somebody everyday for life to change, for life to be better. And here I am concentrating on the worst parts of my life.

    That last paragraph was me being brutally honest with myself. It helped. Now i just have to look at what I do have. The internet is cool because I can just open up to everyone and nobody at the same time.
     
  14. Vailripper

    Vailripper Daywalkers have feelings too.

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    How is your family/social life? It sounds like there is stuff outside your control putting pressure on you.
     
  15. lotusnd

    lotusnd New Member

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    :bigthumb:

    Choice description of your depression with the use of the "demon."
     
  16. Jadix

    Jadix The Nice Guy

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    Family life sucks. I can barely stand talking to my dad, or even thinking about him. My mom is there, but shes not doing too well herself I dont think. Shes lonely I think. They're divorced and hate eachother, and she lives by herself in some small town 4 hours north of where we used to live. My brother seems to be going nowhere in life. He keeps making dumbass decisions that ruin whatever he has going for him at the time.

    Social life isn't bad, I have lots of friends who I see everyday. I had a horrible breakup 6 months ago that threw me all out of whack though. I get lonely at night when i have to sleep alone...but im sure everyone does a little bit.
     

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