SRS The "Controlling" / Jealous Type V. Need Help?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ghostin, Jun 25, 2007.

  1. Ghostin

    Ghostin New Member

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    I've been thinking for a loooooong time about how I tend to be a little overly jealous sometimes with my girlfriends when it comes to them hanging out with other guys (I won't even allow it) or even hanging out with their own girlfriends. It's even worst when it comes to what they wear, I get pretty irritated when shirts show cleavage or stomach, and short shorts make me:squint:
    Does anybody have any literature they're recommend to help remedy this crap? It's already cost me one serious relationship, and it's taking its toll on my current one. Thanks
     
  2. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Be proud to show off your girl when she wears something sexy...life is too short to worry all the time about her cheating on you if she's going to cheat theres nothing you can do to stop it by controlling who she hangs out with. Maybe you should become a muslim or something where the woman is basically a slave and isnt allowed to wear anything that shows more than her eyes.
     
  3. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    There's no literature for this. Stop being insecure and let your girlfriends hang out with their friends and wear what they want. You can obviously see the negativity you bring to the relationship when you harp on these things and "don't allow it". If someone was telling me I couldn't hang out with my guy friends, I'd be that much more inclined to actually do it. I had an ex who was just like you, and, eventually I smartened up, and returned to doing the things he said I couldn't, and I eventually broke it off with him. Years later, he's know on medication for being bipolar or something. Point of the story is, you need to find the underlying reason why you act this way, and work on it. Let your girlfriend hang out with her friends, male or female, learn to trust and not be jealous. And if she wants to wear sexy clothing - albeit not skanky clothing - show her off, feel good about having someone who others drool over. That should be a self esteem booster.
     
  4. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    :werd:
     
  5. Ghostin

    Ghostin New Member

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    That's what I read before, getting there is another thing. I have friends that swing both ways, some feel the same I do and some just don't give a shit about what their gf's do. In most of their experiences, the ones that don't care get cheated on at some point in their relationships.
     
  6. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    If she's gonna cheat, she's gonna cheat.. This is irrelevant as to whether or not she's allowed to hang out with her friends. If I had thoughts of cheating in my head, I'd cheat on a boyfriend who controlled my life and freaked out whenever I wanted some friend time as opposed to cheating on a boyfriend who was okay with giving me my own personal space. Think about it.
     
  7. SeaMack99

    SeaMack99 OT Supporter

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    .

    I used to be "that" guy. I was young and really immature. What cured it? I was actually cheated on:squint: From then on I realized that if she wants to cheat she is gonna cheat and there is nothing I can do about it.
     
  8. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Bull-fucking-shit.

    People who cheat are going to cheat one way or another. If you're an over-bearing person who attempts to control everything, she's going to cheat purely out of spite.

    You can't go through your relationship thinking like that. It won't work out, and it'll push her away. Think about it.
     
  9. essejgnad

    essejgnad poopty pangts

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    I also used to be "that" guy.. until I ruined a serious relationship with it. Realized I should have trusted the girl after all, oh well. We've started kinda talking again and I'm trying to convince her that I've changed, it's gonna be hard with the wall that she has put up. Wish me luck.

    Let her do her thing and you do your thing. Yeah you guys are together, but seperate your lives a little. Don't ruin it.
     
  10. cmac21

    cmac21 New Member

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    i was the same exact way in a serious relationship, and i had to break up with the girl cuz of something that happened....we just got back together now and the biggest thing is me realizing that just 'smothering' her just pisses her off and she won't be as happy, u gotta let her do her own thing and just learn to trust her, if she really wants to be with you shes not going to do anything to hurt you so hanging out with other guys shouldn't be a problem....you may be together but you still need your own space
     
  11. Kelso

    Kelso New Member

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    Sack up. If no one were looking at your girl then you may be with a girl that you also dont want to look at. Consider yourself lucky, let people ogle your girl while you look for a life.
     
  12. Ghostin

    Ghostin New Member

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    We've talked about it quite a few times, it was pretty negative in the beginning but it's starting to get better. I just can't stand it when someone where's a skirt that's "see through" and shows a thong lol and everybody just :eek3:. So it just takes a lil work on everybody's part
     

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