SRS That annoying ex

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Pringles, Jan 26, 2006.

  1. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    I have been dating my gf for a year now. In the start she had troubles moving on from her current ex. They did the chirstmas exchange. Recently we had a big arguement and accused her of never moving on in life. She then realized this and started to push him aside as he is a complete asshat. Hell he cheated on her. So now she is fully pushing him away, blocked his stupidspace, blocked his aim. She ignores all his calls and texts. But in the end WHY DOESNT THE FUCKER GO AWAY!

    THe other day they got into a huge arguement and I got the crying call and had to help her. Either way the asshat then appologizes at midnight b/c he told her to die, she was a bitch, and more goodies. He then texts her a night ago saying hey. It's like what the fuck is this dudes deal. Is there anything I can do to make my gf's life easier? Because this guy is REALLY hard at understanding where he isnt wanted.

    help me OT :sadwavey:
     
  2. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    change her cell phone number

    get a restraining order

    kick his ass...
     
  3. 4W4K3

    4W4K3 New Member

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    werd, change #, change AIM, change everything he knows.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Nah. Just have fun with her. Take her places. Show her a good time.

    You don't want to believe this but it does take TWO to dance. When she gets mad and flares up and argues and/or fights with the guy begging to be left alone...that just drives him on further. He is clearly full of chaos, and drama shit like that only fans the flames higher and higher.

    The way out of the trap is for to show genuine disinterest. The way you help that happen is by offering a genuine alternative. Fun things to do outside and away from him.

    Soon it'll be.. "your ex called" "who, huh, what? Oh him, whatever, let's go do XYZ again!"

    Locking horns with him or "kicking his ass" as was suggested only escalates and PROLONGS the dance.

    He would just LOVE it if you got entangled in this mess too. That's a guaranteed 3 extra weeks of secret texts/calls to her like "wtf do you see in him anyways, who is he, are you fucking him wtf wtf wtf.."

    So end the dance by not participating. You help her not participate by providing a genuine alternative.

    I hope that's clearer now.
     
  5. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Thanks Johan looks like I'm hitting the nail on the head. I'm just letting them deal with their shit and being by her side anytime she needs it. He seems to make a good enough ass of himself for me. So it looks like I just let time do it's part and hopefully he will figure out oneday to go away. Otherwise he is just the child that never lived.

    Thanks Johan
     
  6. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    I dont think you're in danger of being replaced again or anything so there's nothing to worry about that in that aspect. It's a good idea to do what johan said but if he still turns out to be a stalking fag it's time for action.. that's up to you though. I wouldn't want anyone heckling someone I care abuot. I get especially enraged when someone makes em cry. Good luck you should be fine in the long run :)
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Remember that your part is to actively engage her in other things to do.
    Don't give her too much free time, to "sort it out" between them on her own.

    The secret is to be involved by not getting between them, but basically making her WANT to be with you because its so much fun.

    When people are having a total BLAST, they WANT to get far away from stupid losers like her ex because it becomes obvious what a total drag they are.

    When that genuine disinterest kicks in for real, he'll sense something's up, something's different, even if SHE doesn't realise that she's changed.

    He'll intensify his efforts for a few days....and then fizzle out.
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    I was thinking the same thing :rofl:

    If she's encountering this guy in her daily life (eg. school, work, etc.) she needs to send the message loud and clear that his presence is not wanted. Publicly, if he doesn't get the message when told privately - public embarrassment isn't the preferred route to go but it can be effective if done in front of people whose opinions he cares about.

    If she gets a new cell number she'll have to tell her friends and family not to give him the number, but the chances of everyone actually adhereing to that are slim. A restraining order would be nice but there has to be a threat to her to make it stick, and she also can't be wishy-washy on whether she wants to maintain contact with him.
     
  9. justinhazard

    justinhazard New Member

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    Kick his ass FTW, especially if he told her to die :hammer:
     
  10. [dRu]

    [dRu] Active Member

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    A was in a very similar case to this until recently. I wish I had posted about this like you so I could have someone like Johan reply. I had been seeing the girl for almost a year too.

    If you really care about the girl and wish to continue what you have, listen to Johan's advice. If this act gets old and she never learns her lesson, get out of the situation ASAP. It will only hurt more as it goes on :sadwavey:.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2006
  11. Christopher396

    Christopher396 New Member

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    He won't leave until he meets another victim. I had the same thing with my ex girlfriend. Only she went back to her abusive boyfriend and they are now engaged. If she's into you she should have any contact with him whatsoever.
     
  12. justinhazard

    justinhazard New Member

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    Agreed
     

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