SRS Terrified...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Cakayaka, Nov 6, 2007.

  1. Cakayaka

    Cakayaka New Member

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    So me and the ex broke up a while back (3 year relationship), she has a new boyfriend, I cut off all contact with her about 2 months back, like all contact. Unfortunately, we have some mutual friends who think I am "overreacting" and should come to terms with the situation. I saw her for the first time randomly in our cars because we go to the same college and it was awkward/scary. Like I didn't even know how to act, which in turn pisses me off because I shouldn't give a fuck or over analyze the situation. Whatever, but today I saw her randomly again in a building on campus and I immediately retreated back out of sight before she saw me because I didn't want any form of interaction with her, not even a sighting. This, however, is a problem for me because it makes me feel like a bitch since I "ran away." What should I do? Should I just confront her to make it less awkward? What can I do to not feel like this? I don't think I am scared to see and talk to her, I just don't feel like figuring out how to handle the situation, actually maybe I am scared, who knows? Any insight OT can give me would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    This all depends on whether or not you think you overreacted. Be honest with yourself; don't listen to your friends.

    If you think you reacted fairly then just cut her from your life. If you see her, pay no attention and just walk right by. If she stops you and says something then fine, respond but don't make any efforts--don't even care. Just see what she says and continue your day.

    If you think you overreacted then don't be rude. A passing "hello" is fine, but don't try to engage her in conversation because you are clearly still confused.
     
  3. Ark

    Ark New Member

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    Remember you don't have to confront her just because you see her. If I was in your position I wouldn't let running into her bother me just go on like you were. If she sees you and you see her just acknowledge her existence and continue going and doing what you were. You can't let running into an ex dominate you like this. Oddly enough, the more it seems like you don't care to her the more she'll probably want to talk to you. But its still fairly soon after the break up and things like this are going to be hard. Just work up to it it'll take time.
     
  4. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    I don't think you overreacted. I th ink you handled the situation correctly. And I think the last thing you should do is confront her.
     
  5. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    I think he needs to clarify. The way I read it, it seems like something else happened and so he cut her out completely and that his friends think he is overreacting over that "something else" that took place.

    But if they think he's overreacting simply because he cut all contact with her then I agree with you. That is NOT overreacting. That is a smart step for the recovery process.
     
  6. SpectreMatrix

    SpectreMatrix New Member

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    I would have to agree with KingToad. If your instincts tell you to cut things off and get space. Do it. You are being a coward or anything. If anything you are being the exact opposite. When relationships break down to such a degree, you need to step back and heal. Just don't go TOO overboard without how you cut yourself off from things. Refer to my Removing your armor, thread.

    It will get easier over time.
     

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