SRS tell me im over-reacting

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by transoceanicfoe, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    my boyfriend had an account on here for sometime so i figured id join just to see what its all about.. i never really thought id post or anything.. but here i am finding myself this in this fuckbed situation..


    tell me im overreacting
    a women sends him pictures of herself wanting sex
    he sends back ''do you want to meet'' and a picture of himself
    the cunt turns him down
    when i find out about it he tells me

    "i wasnt going to do anything i just wanted more pictures, its more of an impulse thing''


    i can see how it could be, and i could also see how he basically just fucking cheated on me over the internet/ was trying to cheat on me sexually with an older,fatter woman... WTF
     
  2. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    was this through myspace or something? it's possible he just wanted to figure out more about why she contacted him, but i don't see why he'd send a picture of himself. did she already know what he looked like? why would she want sex from him if she didn't already know something about him?
     
  3. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    it was over some website.. i dont feel like naming it for privacy, he is a member here.. a lurker.. but a member.. his profile had no picture.. not much info.. just an email.. she sent a picture of herself and her fat tits.. and he sent her a picture he took of his face, a picture he took in my room btw.. the rest of the message was along the lines of more pictures, when do you want to meet.. she didnt reply.. he kept messaging her, she finally said she wasnt interested, he said if you know anybody who is.. here is my email...

    he didnt have a girlfriend for 6 years.. and he had a lot of porn, and i mean a lot of porn... but believe me the sex i give him DAILY.. should add up to any sexual need he has.. i love giving head.. i do it constantly.. any position any way.. however and whenever he wants it.. and yet he wants to meet some old fat lady..? i dont know
     
  4. Darth_Kelly

    Darth_Kelly Morality is the herd-instinct in the individual.

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    I would be very upset if my boyfriend was sending other women naked pictures of himself. Imo men will always look at porn, and while that may bother girls, yea, it's pretty harmless. The fact that he even mentioned to meet, however, especially if the woman was "old and fat," means that you two need to work out issues and that you need to assert yourself and tell him the boundaries.
    I personally don't think you're over-reacting, because as I said, sending naked pics of yourself and offering to meet is more than just harmless curiosity (i.e. porn) and is enough to make me dump a boyfriend.
     
  5. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    if he was just messing with her then he's juvenile and immature.
    if he just wanted to find out more about her then he has a problem with craving attention.
    if he actually wanted to meet her then he's a cheater and you sholdn't be with him

    those are the 3 possible situations i see. none of which look very good. i can't really judge since i don't know what kind of personality he has. it could be a combination of those things. how well do you know him and how long have you been with him?
     
  6. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    i don't think she said he was naked in the pictures...was he?
     
  7. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    no he wasnt.. just a face.. ive dated him for about 6 months now.. but have known and wanted to be with him for longer.. he is a very gentle caring person.. i think he just has this sexual crave.. none of those scenes sounded too good.. but we were so close to even being engaged..



    i refuse to be another stupid girl and believe 'it wont happen again'


    but do you ever really get that trust back?
     
  8. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    this troubles me. this means his impulses override his rationality and sincerity. if he continues to think this way you're in for a lot more hurt down the road. my advice is to talk to him and help him identify where these impulses come from. let him know that you need him to consider your feelings and be faithful to you if he wants this relationship to work.

    of course, there's always the possibility that he doesn't want you to know the truth and what he told you was simply the fastest lie he could throw together.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    I would dump a girl if she did that to me. I think he needs to be dumped ASAP
     
  10. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    .

    peace out. move on.
     
  11. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    its all very good advice.. it really seems as if he wouldnt do it.. i mean i could actually show you what this broad looked like compared to me, and im no bragger, but i bet hands down you'd go for me.. the part that gets me is he said its more of an impulse thing.. i tried to get him to go deeper into that.. like if he had sent pictures to girls before or did something similar, but he said he hasnt..

    i dont know

    im going to be watching very carefully..
    the internet leaves a very nice paper trail
     
  12. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    If you have to watch him all the time over the internet to see if he's cheating he's not worth your time. Just let him go. If he chooses to do this stuff on "impulse" then he's too immature to be in a relationship. You need to dump this guy.
     
  13. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i would be fucking outraged. i'd probably dump him immediately, to be honest.

    how did you find out?
     
  14. SixSecrets

    SixSecrets New Member

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    It's the internet for crying out loud. No big deal.
    There's nothing wrong with taking a look at what's happening on the other side of the fence.
    It's not as if he actually did the innie-outtie with the fat lady.
    Good heavens, he's a guy and not dead.
    Cut him some slack.
     
  15. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    its not just that he was looking at porn
    he was trying to meet somebody
     
  16. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    ok well if you feel like you're always going to be watching him for this type of act, then it's better you leave him and save yourself the trouble. like i tell many people, the point of focus is not the rationalization of his act or lack thereof. Rather, you should be focusing on whether you can get over it, be happy, etc. etc. If you're over reacting you will probably let it go, NATURALLY. If you can't, or if you're forcing yourself to think that you are over reacting cause people say you are, you need to do something.
     
  17. johan

    johan Active Member

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    how old are he and you?
     
  18. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Sounds like you already know that what he did was wrong and pretty shady. Do you really want to be with someone that you know you can't trust?
     
  19. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    i am 19 and he is 20 years old.. yes, yes we are young.. but we're taking our relationship with a grain of salt.. ive already been through a rough relationship so we know even the best dont always last..


    i do know what he did was wrong and shady.. but i thought perhaps its a guy thing.. trying to get pictures from other girls on the internet.. i dont know.. im not into porn or anything.. i dont know how far you take it on the internet.. but now i hate when he even looks at another girl.. i couldnt imagine finding more porn on his computer.. that would just be it for me.. before porn was fine, i felt a little insecure because of it, but what girl wouldnt.. but now its this stupid email?


    i want to be with him,but only if he wants to treat me like i should be treated..im too fucking tired of assholes like him ;treating me like they fucking do..at first i cried, just like time and time before; now
    im angry..

    thank you all for your replies, it really helps to talk about this with somebody
     
  20. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    It's not a normal guy thing. It's a shady guy thing. It's an insecure guy thing. Porn is a completely different thing than getting pictures and talking with an actually person. Porn is impersonal and fake. There is so actually connecting of two people. This is more than that.


    Trust me, I can give great advice about this because I went through it. I went through EXACTLY this. And I did the wrong thing. I told the guy it had to stop and I believed him when he said it would. He even quit the website he was on where he met the girl. But then he joined a different board, and started talking to a girl there. It doesn't matter if he never planned to meet the girl. He was insecure and looking for attention from other females. I realized I would never be able to trust him and if it wasn't one girl, it was going to be a different one.

    If this guy feels like that kind of behavior is ok and you don't, it doesn't matter if it's wrong or right or normal or not. What matters is that you two aren't compatible as far as trust and outside relationships. It probably won't work.
     
  21. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    I can't help but say this:

    If she is a 'fat cunt' then maybe the reason why she did that was for pure self-esteem? You know, find a hot guy, ask for sex and send pictures to him, hoping that he'll reply with pictures and more and when he does and asks for more, turn him down. :shrug:

    sounds like self-esteem stuff to me.
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    even if that were the case, it's inappropriate for someone in a relationship to get involved with that girl.
     
  23. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Yes, I agree.

    No doubt about it.
     
  24. transoceanicfoe

    transoceanicfoe New Member

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    thats another thing im afraid of.. what other websites is he on? i asked him for them.. i told him that he couldnt get in any more trouble than he was in at that moment so fess up or im out of here.. and he promised me none.. he said nobody ever contacted him and he was too afraid.. when somebody did it was an ''impulse'' thing..

    as much as a horrible girlfriend as it makes me feel, if i wish i could go through his things.. his emails, his computer at work, his server computer, any and every computer he gets on.. i found one thing, then another thing, then more things.. ive just constantly been finding one thing after another on his computer.. i found his porn (extensive), he didnt delete it.. he just moved it to another computer and ''then deleted it'', later i find his porn movies, he doesnt delete it.. i bring it up.. he deletes it.. then i find a saved webpage to somebodies profile on a website.. saying what she likes and all that.. i figured it was old.. i saw his screenname for the website so i joined and checked out his profile.. it said he was on 6 days ago.. he claims that he was on it just because it sent him something, he clicked on it.. and it logged him in.. he ''just thought it was a newsletter''... he swore up and down he wasnt looking through this ''dating'', more like fuck and go, website.. and then i find on his thunderbird email thing on his work computer this fucking ugly bitch's email and his responses of meeting her and wanting more pictures...

    none of this is sounding good.. but i really do love him.. and i know he loves me.. i can actually feel it from him.. but i dont think he's ready for a committed relationship


    edit:i dont have a problem with the porn itself really.. its just the fact that he knows i have a lot of problems.. dealing with the level of subjectivity to women with the porn industry.. it makes me feel used.. you could say i was ''abuse'' when i was younger.. and now seeing how men treat women as tools for getting off.. raping and children and all this.. it gets to me.. out of respect.. i thought he might do a good thing.. i dont think all porn is bad.. its an expression of ones self.. i just have issues with sex..
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2007
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Sounds like you already know what you need to do. Face it, you already even said it, this guy is not ready for a committed relationship. The trust on your end is in question, if not gone.

    Leave him, and find someone who can commit to you.
     

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