SRS Talking to an ex.....need help.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Gibles, Jul 16, 2007.

  1. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Ok, here's the deal......there's a good chance I'll see my ex at a mutual friend's bday party on saturday. We were together over 7 years, she jumped ship in march and no more than a month later moved in with her current bf. Needless to say, she broke up with me over the phone because she is a weak person, so really there was no closure. I'm even waiting for some of my stuff back. How do I handle this situation? Do I try to ignore her for the sake of starting drama? Do I say anything at all? If so, just a simple "hi"? I really need to be prepared because it was kind of a tough hit. Help?
     
  2. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

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    If you come close to her, say hi. Dont let her know you dont have closure. Make her think that you are perfectly happy and your life is fine.
     
  3. dejamike

    dejamike i quit quitting

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    I agree
     
  4. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Can I ask why about the whole no closure part?
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Whatever you do, don't seem upset, desperate, or annoyed that she is there. Hell, if I were you I'd maybe say hi and go on as if she's not ther and you are having a great time. If she senses you are hurt she will honestly be turned off and unfortunately remind herself in a way like "I'm glad we are over." You have to appear as if you have long since moved on to bigger and better things (even if you haven't).
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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  7. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    I wouldn't say a word to her she hasn't given your shit back after 7 months? I would appear happy but I wouldn't give her the time of day even to say hi
     
  8. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    i wouldnt go
     
  9. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    I would ignore her, and do your best to have fun at the party. I understand that probably isn't possible if she is there, but you have to appear as if you are (for your sake). A simple "Hi" if you are close, then casually walking away is fine. If she comes up and starts talking to you, which she quite possibly might, keep it strictly professional. No talking of anything personal, from you or her. If she asks, or starts telling you things of that nature, just politely say "I really don't want to talk about this with you." or "That's great" and move on to another person in the party.

    From experience, I worked very closely with an ex after we broke up and he got a new girlfriend very shortly after...and he was never bothered/annoyed more than when I was perfectly happy and didn't let him affect me.
     
  10. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    :hug:

    Be sure and let us know how it goes.
     
  11. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Thanks for the advice. I'm definitely going and if near her, give her the polite "hi". I am curious to know whether she'll bring the new bf or not. Her old best friend told me she feels weird when he touches her in front of my friends. She's even told him to stop before. I think that if I get a little booze in me and bring a couple of my friends I'll be alright although one of the things she still has is my laptop(old). I'll be sure and let you know how things go. Ya never know, maybe she'll hear I'm going and decide not to go. :x:
     
  12. CaliforniaPlaya

    CaliforniaPlaya New Member

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    What is your relationship with her like now? Do you still talk at all, are you friends, are you on speaking terms atleast? Its good that you know she may be there so you won't be surprised. Just don't do anything stupid. At best, say 'Hi' and maybe you can meet the new bf and take it from there. At worst, ignore her.

    Good luck!!!
     
  13. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Like everyone has said I would just give a polite "hello" and if she responds in a way to spark a conversation just kinda walk away and leave it at that. If she has a feeling that you don't have closure she will make the rest of your time there a living hell!
     
  14. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    a look and a smirk, that's it. if you're still vulnerable to what had happen, don't try to converse because trust me, drama's going to start from you. remember, a look and a smirk, that's it. try to look bad ass too :big grin: and all GQ up. don't make anything obvious. feel good about yourself, have a good time, forget she's there. you're there for the party, not her. screw her, she fucked up, not you. you don't need a weak minded, helpless person to be an asset to your life, it was good she left, now you get to explore and see the better people out there :big grin: *cheers, i'd drink to that :big grin:
     
  15. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    We've talked probably twice in the last four months with a few texts thrown in there. In my opinion, we are not friends and I'm pretty sure she knows that. I try not to speak with her at all. I know her new bf, it's a complete moron. He was having problems with his internet one time and thought he could fix it by having his TV on channel 3. I will do my best to be nice if I have to be around them.


    Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
     
  16. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

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    When you say you have no closure I assume you still care about her. She will like the fact that she was able to have this affect on you, but if you dont let her think that, she will assume you have moved on and that she isnt "all that".

    I guess you could almost call it a power trip, but I use the term power trip loosely.
     
  17. Whoringforcrack

    Whoringforcrack New Member

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    Honestly, girls are brutal. Even if you say hello, she may ignore you, or she may say Hi back but then make you out to be a jackass to everyone else for saying hello. I'd say wait for her to say something to you, and if so then she actually cares to talk. If you get into conversation, then ask about the closure. Tis what I would do. Good luck.
     
  18. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    I'm an asshole, but I might throw a one-liner in there about channel 3 if the conversation allows it...
     
  19. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

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    whoa whoa whoa. That isnt something you just ask about.

    her "Hey, hows it going"
    him "pretty good. How is your closure going? Mine is almost done."
    ...
    ...

    Closure is something you feel, not something you discuss. You can have a talk that ends in closure, but thats about as close as you can get.
     
  20. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    I will not be "talking" with her. I have nothing to say anymore and what could it really do?? I have heard that she thought I was going and doesn't plan on bringing her new bf, probably to steer clear of an altercation. I bet she does though.
     
  21. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    I can't believe after 7 years and she didn't give you a closure for the breakup. That's pretty harsh. How have you been dealing with her for the past 4 months? You guys been together for 7 years, I'm surprise you only talked a few times after the breakup.
     
  22. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    It was hardly mutual, I have made it a point not to talk to her to make it easier on myself. I can't stand to hear her voice. We went on a "break" for January, she went on a few dates. Well when we got back together a month later she said none of the guys she met could hold a candle to me. So we're back together and she goes on vacation and I go away for work. She comes back, ignores me for a week while I'm still away and breaks up with me OVER THE PHONE while I'm in a hotel room out of state. I heard in a roundabout way that one of the guys she had dated picked her up from the airport with flowers....she took him to Easter dinner with her family two weeks later and has been living with him for over three months. Keep in mind we were never in a situation to be able to live together. I was waiting for her to graduate and she was supposed to come live with me in May. To make things easier on me....she lost one of her jobs, decided to take a break from school (won't likely go back for vet school like she always wanted), started smoking, and became a huge pothead. She barely even talks to her real friends anymore. She's become her mom. So it's been a bit easier on me but still hard cuz I was deeply in love with her.

    Now I'm still waiting to get my laptop back. The only thing that gets me about the whole thing were her cookie cutter reasons to break up: she doesn't know who she is, she's using me as a crutch, and I hold her back from the things she's always wanted to do. Well, those are all obvious bullshit lol. Ok well that's the story in a huge nutshell. Funny thing is, I'm more friends with her brothers than ever, it's weird. Ok, I'm done.
     
  23. Whoringforcrack

    Whoringforcrack New Member

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    He said:
    "Can I ask about the whole no closure thing?"

    I meant, he could ask why there wasn't any, if they got into conversation. Not ask about hers.
     
  24. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

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    I see what you are saying. Ask we she up and left his ass for no god damn reason. I'd still shy away from that in conversation unless you want a shouting match in erupt.
     
  25. Whoringforcrack

    Whoringforcrack New Member

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    Besides. theres no women out there worth it, except me =]
     

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