FRK Talking SO into taking pictures?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Pen Is Mightier, Oct 1, 2008.

  1. How do you guys talk your SO into taking pictures either of just you or of just them or during sex?

    I have always wanted to take at least some kind of pictures because they turn me on a lot later and we're in a long distance relationship right now...so it could provide me with some "material". *wink*

    I also want to make a movie but I don't think he's ever do that...maybe...

    Anyway.

    How should I bring up the idea of taking pictures? I have in the past and he didn't think much of the idea.
     
  2. Sp33dealer

    Sp33dealer OT Supporter

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    I had this problem also, but got over it easily. We were about to go at it and we were pretty drunk, and I asked her if I could use my digital camera to film me fuck her, and she was cool with it. Since then, she hasn't cared.
     
  3. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    can you give a bit more background on your relationship?

    How long have you been together? What sort of stuff have you attempted in the past? Have you brought this up at all with your partner in the past? How old are you two? What do you have available in regards to the ability to take photos.

    I gather from your comments you are just looking to take porn shots not erotic shots correct?
     
  4. Hmm ok. Where do I start...

    Well I came out of the closet early this summer after contemplating myself for about 6 years. Pretty much right away I met my BF through a friend who knew him very well. We were set up and went on a date and basically hit it off right away. We like all the same stuff (cars, snowboarding, partying) and have a really good time together. We've been together now for 2-3 months but it feels much longer than that. This summer we were together pretty much everyday. As for what kind of stuff we've done in the past...nothing "freaky" really. Sex in the shower, sex by the pool outside, etc. is about as freaky as it ever got. We are pretty active though...usually everyday we're together. I brought it up once in the past and he didn't seem too down but maybe now that we know each other better he'd be down...I dunno? We're both 19. To take the photos...a digital camera? :dunno:

    Hope that provides you with some more info. ;)
     
  5. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    'came out of the closet?' Ahh so both guys (not that it makes a difference :mamoru:).

    Well, if you are wanting for during sex, I would suggest getting a tripod. First, however, I would suggest the first thing that is stated in every thread where one asks 'how do I get my partner to ......?'

    ASK. Let him know what you want and why and see what happens. I do not see why it would be an issue outside of a fear that the pictures would get out or if you two break up and something happens out of revenge. You two are fairly young and have only been dating for a while, so that could be an issue.

    Moreover, depending on where either of you live, homosexuality might (sadly) still be an issue and thus, there could be a fear on your partners side that the photos (or video) could be detrimental (if it got out) in the long run for work or whatever.

    This is not to say that this is what he is thinking...it might be completely 100% wrong...more the comment is just to prepare you for what COULD be stated and that it is not meant as anything against you or that he doesn't care about you (as being afraid that you would abuse any photos if you broke up doesn't signal he thinks the relationship is doomed).

    Anyway, I would just bring it up first. State that, because you are in a long distance relationship currently that it would be great to have. You might have to initiate with photos of yourself (although it might not work for him) or you might want to do some stuff with webcams, so you can see one another playing around. But yeah, just bring it up first and see what the prospects look like and then we can go from there as to the best approach. :) Good Luck
     
  6. Oh, I forgot to bring that up. We do stuff over webcam often. He has no problem with that. Skype ftw.

    Most people where we live are fine with us being gay. Our friends have all been supportive, his parents (especially his Mom) are cool with it. My parents aren't really cool with it though. I got kicked out of my house this summer and lived in my car for a while...now they are kind of in the "My bad..." phase. I recently showed my Mom a picture of my BF and she didn't seem awkward about that. :o

    I can see the fear of the pictures "getting out" but to be honest they are just for personal use. The only ones I'd ever share would be only of myself...I would never share anything of someone else without their permission. I'll try to bring it up next time we talk though...I think I'll wait until we see each other in real life though...it's too easy to get into stupid arguments over the phone.

    I dont think it is a fear of me using them as blackmail or anything if we ever break up...I don't know what it is. I guess he is just scared because it is something "new". Also, what do you mean of taking "porn photos" versus "erotic photos"? I assume porn is ghetto shots just of like a dick and "erotic shots" are posed, more appropriate photos?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 2, 2008
  7. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    A bit off topic but, it seems you have good support systems. I gathered his mother, based off of your comment in the other thread. Not that surprised with how your parents initially reacted. I think for many it can be challenging and a shock. It is good to see them change their tune a bit and admit that they made a mistake. Hopefully you do not hold it against them as I guess it was probably a knee-jerk reaction.

    As I said, he probably presumes the photos would never get out and knows that you would not share them around, but I think there is still that fear in everyone's mind that: what IF you break up?, how will you react to the breakup?, will you make a knee-jerk reaction and do something with the info you have. Again, I don't think and he probably doesn't either that this would ACTUALLY happen, but there is always that concern, especially when the relationship is new and (no offense) you two are so young. This is not to say you are immature about relationships or anything, but people can flip out after a breakup (especially given it is your first relationship correct?).

    Again, I should stress that I do not think this is HONESTLY a concern, but it could possibly be and if it is, it should not be viewed as him not caring or trusting you, but more the newness of the relationship and an internal fear.

    I like doing photography on the side and I have nude photos of a LOT of friends and they are never seen by others, unless I have permission from the person. Moreover, it is not just general permission, but rather permission about specific photos that I wish to share. I have been lucky that they are all friends and I have built up that trust over years. In addition, I have a reputation of keeping photos of other models private and thus they have seen how I treat photos of other friends and that has provided me more creditability. It is just something concrete and visual and it can worry anyone and needs to be kept in mind :)

    Let us know how the talk goes :big grin:
     
  8. Soybomb

    Soybomb New Member

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    Has anyone ever said "this pictures won't ever get out unless we have a bad breakup or you do something to really make me hate you, then they'll be on every amateur porn site before the end of the week." What you've said is probably more or less what everyone who has leaked nude pics of their ex has said.

    This is someone you've have a short term relationship with and the trust just might not be there yet. Give it a try but prepare for defeat.
     
  9. Yeah his family is a good support for me. His mom and I have had lots of long, some sad and some fun, nights together. When I got kicked out of my house she was the one who was there for me when I felt like no one wanted me anymore. :hs:

    Yeah I don't really hate my parents for what they did. I've heard it is a similar feeling of being told your son is dead. So I know they felt just as bad as I did those 6 years I was contemplating my sexuality, except they felt all of that within 5 seconds.

    I know some people would flip after a break-up and try to do bad things but I am not one of those people. I know that is hard to believe when I say this when I'm in a good relationship and am not in the break-up...but just believe me. I am not that kind of a person.

    This is my first real (gay) relationship, that is true. I had a 2 year relationship with a girl in Junior/Senior year high school though. :hs:

    I think it would be fun to take the pictures, it would be just a big bonus to have them afterwards. :o I hope I covered all of your questions. :o

    *edit*
    As for the newness of the relationship. Yes I know it is "new" but I believe it is pretty advanced for how short we've been together. We've gone through tough times together already and really just work together well. I know in some relationships it is still an "awkward phase" where things dont really flow yet or whatever. This is not the case with us though...I don't know how to explain it. Bleh, I suck expressing myself with words/thoughts. English is my 2nd language, I speak/write it perfectly as you probably never guessed it was a 2nd language, but when I try to explain myself emotionally it is hard for me. I don't know how to express myself this way in any language. :hs:
     
  10. This isn't really a dominance issue, more of an openness issue IMO. Just because you're a guy and your girlfriend seems "submissive" in your opinion doesn't mean anything.
     
  11. Well still, not a dominance issue like you made it seem like. I'm not really sure who is dominant in our relationship...I dont think either of us is.
     
  12. I guess we'll see. I am visiting this summer. We are pretty much as open as possible except for this. We have no issues talking about anything, seeing each other naked, sex, being open about our relationship to others...we have nothing to hide.
     
  13. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    I tried to take pics this weekend while we were in the middle of it.... He knocked the camera out of my hand and said that he was too focused on me to be bothered with pics..:mamoru:
     
  14. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    how do you talk your SO into anything sexual?

    you shouldn't be.


    bring up the desired activity in a private but nonsexual setting. (sitting down watching tv together, for example) and just be up front about it.

    "you know, it would get me so hot/randy/horny/whatever if WE tried something like XYZ the next time we're having sex/about to have sex/playing slap and tickle. what do you think and do you want to help me try that?"
     
  15. :o I see what you mean. You shouldn't HAVE to talk them into it or force them...just bring it up and if they say yes/no thats that... :o

    Everything we've done sexually in the past before we've just been like spurr of the moment...want to do ___...and we both were like :eek3: and said YES.
     
  16. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    people are also more pliable sexually when they're already aroused.

    not that it'd be unethical to use that to your advantage or anything... :hsugh:
     
  17. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    exactly. however, if this is a very strong desire on your part and this is something that they're very much against, it represents a potentially fatal incompatibility. depending on how apprehensive they are towards it, there's nothing saying that the subject can't be broached again at a later date when you're both a bit more comfortable.

    as an example, PE and I will engage in activities now that we certainly weren't comfortable with 1, 3 even 5 years ago.
     
  18. Well I'll report back in 3 years if he does it. :mamoru: I hope we're still together in 3 years. I have hard putting my love for him into words.
     
  19. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    i love you

    i love when you do this

    when you do this it makes me feel this way

    i love this aspect of you


    start there
     
  20. We're chatting on Skype right now. I'll try to say one of those things before its over. :) Just seeing him makes me feel a lot better. He's so cute in bedtime clothes. :mamoru:

    Thanks!
     
  21. TigreTek

    TigreTek omega member OT Supporter

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    there you go.
     
  22. :mamoru: I guess that is one way of saying it. I could write 10 pages on reasons why I love him though.

    Anyway we were just video chatting and talking about our situation and how shitty I'm feeling and were fairly serious. Then when it gets kind of quiet he just grabs his junk through his shorts and is like "You want this biatch?" and busts out laughing. :rofl: THAT is why I love him. He can make a joke out of anything. Puts a smile on my face even when I'm depressed. :mamoru:

    In ~40 hours we'll be together though so it is alllll good. I am visiting him this weekend at his school. :o I want to do something special for him but I'm not sure what I can do yet.
     
  23. Ashley

    Ashley EEK!!!!

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    Tell him that.

    Also an option with your pictures is no faces in them, just to get comfortable and a little less worry about them being shared if things go wrong.
     
  24. PresidentJames

    PresidentJames New Member

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    ask me later.
    generally we just talk very dirty for a while, then they ask if I would liek such pictures.
    the obvious answer is?:p
     
  25. I asked and he said he'd think about it. :o I may have got some of me though...:hsugh:
     

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