SRS talked with ex gf about us for the first time...dunno where we stand

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Frontclip2200, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    i dunno if this should be here or in the vaginarium forum, so i just choose here.

    anyways, i hung out with my ex gf, 3 and a half year relationship, yesterday and now i really dont know what to do. i can easily say that as hard as ive tried and all ive done to seperate myself from her and forget about her since she broke up with me about a month and a half ago, im not over her. i know that isnt alot of time apart, and that its definately gonna take more time to fully get over her. i know that seeing her would only refresh my mind as to why i miss her so much, but i really wanted to see her and see how she as doing. after talking with her a while we got on the subject of us, and what i took from what she said is that she still has feelings for me too. she kept saying how she really misses me, and that us being just friends may even be too hard on her right now, which i really diddnt expect from her, i thought i was the one taking it so hard. she was holding my hand and hugging me with so much affection while we were talking about it so even the body language was there. i asked her if she thinks that her and i could ever be together again, which prob wasnt a good idea, and all she said was that she doesnt know, and that she doesnt know what she wants right now.

    so now im here and i dont know where we stand or what to do. i feel like this time apart gave me the ability to see what i was doing wrong in the relationship even more and have leared alot from it and i feel like i could do things differently now. i dont know if since both of us still have feelings for eachother after we have tried to seperate ourselves from eachother if we should try to have a go at a relationship again or not. i realize that alot of it is up to her since she is the one uncertain about what she wants, and that i cant just let her drag me along and wait and should keep trying to forget about her. but i feel like we still have something together and i think that she does too.

    im open to advice or anything.
     
  2. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    In my experience, when girls broke up because of "doesn't know what she wants", she won't go back. She's stringing you along until she finds someone better. It's harsh but it's true. I'm sorry dude.
     
  3. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Cut off all communication with her. It'd be best if you never talk to her again....trust me.
     
  4. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Depends on their age.

    Younger girls go through that a lot. Actually, younger people in general go through that a lot. Everything's changing during those critical years (18-25) that maintaining some sense of stability is difficult.

    Chances are it won't work out, but it could, too. Everyone is different and there is no straight answer as to what to do.

    Personally, I'd continue to put the energy and effort into getting past it all and moving on with my life. If things work out down the road, then great. But don't sit around dwelling on it / hoping for it.
     
  5. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    she broke up witih me because she said that she just wanted to live for herself right now, not really a definate thing. but i know its becaue i was very controlling in the relationship.
     
  6. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    i know that would be the best thing to do to completely forget about her, but both of us at least want to be friends with eachother. i know its gonna be hard to do so though. but its hard for us to be such close friends for such a large part of the past and then just forget about eachother, plus i think were both too nice to just completely forget about eachother.
     
  7. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    yeah, were both very young, im 20, and shes 19. i know we have a ton of life ahead of us and i know that there will be other girls out there in my future.

    im really trying to just let it go and do all i can about forgetting about us and i was doing great with it lately. but after last night when i found out how she felt it gave me hope, and i know thats not what i need right now, cause i know it may lead to me being strung along. but i am going to press on with trying to seperate myself from wanting to be in a relationship with her even though i really wish that things would work out and hope they do in the future.
     
  8. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    She wants to be friends because she wants you to still hang around and wait for her. You become a security blanket when she gains her freedom. If you really want her to come back, the best thing to do is to walk away. You have to show her what she is missing. Don't leave the ball in her court and let her know she can have you anytime she wants. People always want what they can't have. Don't be too nice or too easy, she won't respect you.
     
  9. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    i know there is alot of truth to this. a great example is when she was afraid to talk to me after the breakup until she found out that i was starting to date another girl, then she stated calling me and actually talkin to me agian. i know i am now this security blanket, and i dont want to be it at all thats why im trying to live as independantly as possible.
     
  10. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    No, it's impossible for you to be friends....at least at first. Get over her and THEN maybe try and be friends.
     
  11. mg

    mg OT Supporter

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    there you go. no buts!
     

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