Talk or fight?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ww_Crimson, Aug 31, 2008.

  1. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    There is a girl I've been seeing for about 6 weeks now. We don't have an official title between us right now but we're both seeing each other exclusively.

    A guy that is friends with some of my friends (we all party together) has been trying to flirt with this girl I'm seeing on a regular basis lately. He has seen me bring her to parties, and she's "been with me" as far as anyone else is concerned. Everyone knows it.

    Last night he had a party at his house and sent her a text message inviting her to come. She texted him back and she wasn't going to come. He came by her work in the afternoon (I don't know if it was to actually buy something or just an excuse to see her, probably the later) and was giving her a hug goodbye when he kissed her on the forehead as he was leaving and said you should come by tonight.

    Now today there is a birthday party for one of my best friends and some how this fuck face got invited. He sent a text to the girl I'm seeing saying "I cant wait 2 c u there, hopefully u will b with me a lot :)". She forwarded me the text and was like "uhh look what he sent me".

    Her and a couple of my other buddies are telling me I should just talk to him and make things very clear as to where he stands but he's been doing this shit for so long that I'm ready to punch him square in the fucking face the minute he walks through the door.


    He has made MANY attempts to get with other girl, friends of mine who were NOT single at the time. He always waits to use alcohol to his advantage. I don't know why he still gets invited to parties that we go to honestly. I've never felt so disrespected by another guy before. I don't mind casual harmless flirting here and there but he knows that she's not 'on the market' and he consistently makes attempts to get at her. I've never fought another guy because of something like this but I'm going to see this guy in about 6 hours and I'm not sure what to do. I know that if I get drunk and I see him make any kind of pass at her I'm going to end up in his face.

    Cliffs: Fucking douche bag guy is making passes at my girl. Should I fight him or talk to him.
     
  2. HouseLing

    HouseLing When masturbations lost its fun you'r fucking lazy

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    she cant take care of something like that herself? :ugh:
     
  3. Buttons

    Buttons OT Supporter

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    That's for her to talk to him about not you.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Like everyone else has said, she's an adult, this is her problem to take care of.

    If she doesn't take care of it, well, that's definitely something to think about.
     
  5. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    she should tell him to stop

    if he doesn't, you turn his fucking chin upside down
     
  6. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    To everyone who posted above, she said today she was going to talk to him about it as last night / today is kind of when it started getting out of hand.

    BlackIce's response was more what I was looking for as to if he continues the behavior. Didn't know if it seemed appropriate for me to talk to him or just fix the problem on the spot.
     
  7. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    I don't think she's showing him any texts because her and her best friend have specifically mentioned how creepy the guy is to them. He asked the girl I'm seeing for her best friend's number. She didn't give it to him and so he moved on and started asking other people for the best friend's number. Above post, she said she was going to talk to him about it. Issue didn't really get out of hand until about 10 minutes before I made the thread.


    I plan on talking to her when I pick her up tonight but I just wanted outside advice as usual. I've been the one saying "just talk to the guy first" to my friends plenty of times before so I know it's the more reasonable thing to do. As I said my concern is that his behavior isn't going to stop and I don't know how long I should let it go on before I resort to violence.

    Honestly I don't fight often, and when I have it's been for pretty extreme circumstances.
     
  8. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    The interesting thing here is, is that she's obviously digging the attention and is more than likely using it to make you jealous.

    The reason I say that is because she has the power to make him stop doing it, and all she has to do is be VERY CLEAR that she is not interested in him.

    The fact that she hasn't done that means you should probably be more upset with HER than him. After all, he is merely doing what everybody in the Vag is always trying to tell guys to do, right? To the Vag, you are just her placeholder and all he has to do is play her right to pull her off you.

    There's not much you can do here that's going to end up fine. It's stupid to think that you are going to confront this guy and her not get EXTREMELY pissed at you. If you confront HER, she is going to get annoyed and you are going to look insecure. If you act like nothing is happening, she could perceive that as you really don't care and fall into his trap.

    It's really lose/lose all the way around.

    If I were in this situation, I would ask her why she even answers or entertains this guy's texts. And listen to her answer and would gauge what my next move would be by her answer. If she goes on the defensive, that would signify guilt of some kind to me (No I'm not saying she's cheating, but rather guilt that she is using this situation to make you jealous or guilt that she enjoys this other guy's attention). If she brushes it off as "nothing", I wouldn't worry about it all from that point on.
     
  9. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Leaving work in 2 hours to pick her up. Will post update tomorrow.

    Probably not gonna fight the guy unless he makes some serious advances. Thanks V.
     
  10. Timer

    Timer Guest

    She likes the attention, but tell her it is her business moreso and she should take care of it. If she doesn't, then I would bail out.
     
  11. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    Egg his house dog
     
  12. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Sounds like she enjoys his attention and likewise rubbing it into your face, she's being a bitch.
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    i'd probably beat his ass in all honesty

    ymmv
     
  14. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Beat his ass, then leave her ass. Win-win.
     
  15. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    ^ To clarify the last post:

    The guy sounds like a douchecanoe. He needs to have his ass handed to him.
    She needs to be get her ass kicked to the curb for being a douchecanoe too. WTF is she doing egging him on, and then telling you to sort out her own problems for? Fuck that noise.
     
  16. Zee916

    Zee916 Engineering the world.......

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    No matter if I knew I was gonna beat ass its not worth it at all man.

    It's really just not a good idea because then this dousche canoe can come and file charges on you if he wants, assuming you instigate it.

    Happened to me and SO SO SO NOT WORTH IT. If your girl can't handle it herself I'd jump ship. I won't play games like that anymore. She obviously is digging the attention.
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    To the guys advocating fighting...you realize there are millions of guys out there who are just like him? Are you going to fight every single guy who goes after your girl.

    The reason he hasn't stopped is because she hasn't told him to. If it is annoying her, she should make it clear that it's not going to happen. Since its annoying the OP, he needs to talk to his gf and let her know that it is annoying him, and ask her to deal with it.

    But at the very least, he needs to show her the trust and respect to ask/allow her to deal with the problem as an adult woman. Now, if she complains about it, but is unwilling to do anything about it, or just brushes it off (or otherwise shows that she likes it or wants it to continue), then you decide whether the games are worth it.

    But, at the very least, you need to give her the opportunity to address this problem.
     
  18. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Fuck christ you guys she hadn't even had time to deal with it at the time when I made the thread. We went to the party, he kinda put his arm around her a little bit at first and then she walked away over to me. Later in the night he was outside and so was she and he was like hey come sit here while he was patting his lap and she was like "no sorry I'm actually talking to (me)". Problem resolved. I was super heated when I made the thread and there hadn't really been enough time for her to react which is why I said I'd update later. No fists thrown or words exchanged. He knows his place now and things should be fine unless he starts flirtin' with her again.
     
  19. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Sounds good, for now. Lets see how she reacts when you are not there!
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    If that's all that happened, then it doesn't look to me like she dealt with it. It looks like she did the right thing in front of you, but I'll garauntee you this isn't over yet.
     
  21. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    He'll be back. He either interprets it as "she was doing that so her bf didn't get mad at her" or "she just wasn't in the mood at the time".

    Until she calmly and firmly tells him that she is in NO WAY INTERESTED, he'll keep coming back.
     
  22. Timer

    Timer Guest

    Wait until he does it again when you are not there. If she doesn't handle it herself, just tell her that it is her business and she'll have to take care of it.
     
  23. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Matt I've been in a couple of confrontations with dudes who were after my girl.

    In one case I think my gf was oblivious to the guy hitting on her (she innocently thought he was being friendly)

    In the other case my later gf (who became my first wife) had been leading this guy on and I just happened to show up unexpectedly where he, her, and a group of friends was hanging out (obvious red flag and I should have dumped her but thats a whole 'nother story).

    Never heard anything from or about either guy after this.
     
  24. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Another factor is I think a lot of girls want to see how you will handle the situation. They get to see you "in action" and see "what you are made of."
     
  25. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    What's wrong with fighting? I don't mean go out there and pick a fight with people intentionally, but when there's just cause, go take care of bidness.

    Why are people such pussies today? Why are people so scared to fight?
    I see all these guys who are ripped as all hell but can't fight to save their lives and the pansy ass bitches who pull out a gun at every opportunity, and then whine like bitches when they think democrats are gonna take away their guns, because what oh what are they gonna do without their guns to protect themselves. :crying:
     

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